It was another slow news day in the small city of Rosebury, Oregon and Derek was struggling to stay awake. Derek worked as a temp in the news room of the biggest station in the town, WDIK, which wasn't saying much as everyone there knew that any news worth mentioning would be picked up by the bigger Portland stations before they even heard of them. For this reason, even though it was the middle of the day, the news room was as quiet as a library. As he slouched at his cubicle desk and scrolled through Facebook for the 5th time that hour, he wondered what he was doing with his life.
After a couple of minutes, the hottest reporter at the station, Brittany Brown, headed his way and past his cubicle on her way to the break room. Derek casually looked up from his phone to sneakily try and catch a glimpse of her ass as she walked past. Brittany was a tall blonde with a supermodel's body, larger-than-normal breasts, and an athletic bubble butt that bounced up and down hypnotically as she walked past. With her tight-fitting black jeans, Derek couldn't help but keep his eyes glued on her long legs and shapely rear longer than he should have. He broke away from his reverie to notice the annoyed look on her face as she strutted away. Busted...
Derek returned to his boredom with a sigh of embarrassment. After a few minutes, he heard a Brittany curse from the break room and heard the click clack of her heels returning his way. He didn't look up this time and was surprised when she stopped at his desk and leaned on one leg to talk to him.
"Oh, uh, hey Brittany" Derek said, putting down his phone.
"Hi." she said briskly, clearly not comfortable talking to the guy she caught staring at her ass. "Do you know if there's any more coffee in the break room?"
"Oh. Is there none in the drawer under the pot?" Derek asked.
"Not that I could see." Brittany said with a sigh. "A few coffee filters, but no ground coffee. I figured maybe you'd know since you're so close to the break room?"
"Hmmm" Derek scratched his chin and thought about any alternatives he might know about. "I can check out back in storage and see what they have back there."
Brittany smiled. " Yes, please" she said as he stood up and stretched before snarkily adding "if you're not too busy.. "
Derek and Brittany headed to the small dark storage room at the back of the building together. He flipped the florescent lights on and started opening some of the drawers. Brittany did the same on the opposite side for a moment before pulling out an old-looking coffee can from a drawer.
"I think I found... something" she said, investigating the wrapping around the can. It was a faded purple and almost looked like an older version of a Folgers coffee container. "It's called... Coffee Curiosities? Have you ever heard of it before?"
Derek stopped his search to look at the can with Brittany. "Nope, never heard of it. Do you think it's still good though? That looks like an old container."
Brittany turned the can over to look at every side, but she couldn't find any sort of expiration date. After a moment of searching, she looked up at Derek, thought it over, and shrugged. "Honestly, I'll have any kind of coffee at this point. I'm so fucking tired."
Derek chuckled and they pair walked back to the break room to brew a new pot of coffee.
After a few awkward minutes standing together while the coffee brewed, Brittany started to pour herself a cup. The coffee smelled very strong and indescript, yet Derek found his mouth watering all the same. Before he poured his own cup of coffee, however, he noticed something that made him pause.
(Author's Note: the coffee makes the user gain characteristics/features of whatever is mixed into it. Go wild!)