Grant looked out the kitchen window as he helped Tanner with the dishes. The kangaroo bustled around the kitchen behind him, getting some biscuit and scone dough made to toss in the oven in the morning for breakfast. It was amazing how much work he put into this place, but he did seem to enjoy it. But Grant's attention was mostly on his old truck, sitting outside the inn. He had picked it up from the shop earlier in the day, and Martin had handed him an envelope from Oakton, it was just an address, a date, and a time. He knew what it was though, his way back home. Tomorrow afternoon.
He could barely remember his old life now, just the last few months. But it wasn't as if the memories were gone, more like they had been scooped out of his brain leaving something empty that the new ones didn't fill. They just made that yawning chasm more obvious by their presence. And Grant kept poking at that emptiness in his mind, like prodding the gap from a missing tooth with his tongue. A glaring nothing that he couldn't help but poke, and it made him feel wrong.
"Grant? You okay?" Tanner's hands landed on his shoulders, giving a light squeeze.
"Yeah, why?" He tried to keep his tone light, casual.
"You've been washing the same pot for the last five minutes." Tanner said with a frown as he reached past Grant and turned off the sink, then took the pot from his hands and moved it to the drying rack. "Still trying to decide?"
Grant nodded. It had been a wall between them the last day, since Grant had finished changing, but that gaping hole in his memories still screamed at him, wanting to be filled. He couldn't like his whole life with that there, even when he could stop poking it the gap was there like a black spot in the corner of his eye.
"You know." Tanner said as Grant turned around to lean back against the counter, the kangaroo putting one hand to either side of him. Since he had finished changing they were both of a similar height, but Grant had lost that extra padding around the middle, leaving him tall and lanky, skinnier than the fit 'roo. "A few days ago you made me a promise. I won't hold you to it, but.." Tanner's words cut off as Grant leaned in to lock muzzles with him.
Grant did remember the promise, one night, at least. "Lead the way." Grant said once the kiss was over. Tanner took him by the paw and led him up the stairs to the room they had been sharing since he got out of the hospital. They undressed each other like unwrapping presents, slow at first, then tearing, tossing fabric aside as they moved to the bed. Grant had never been with another man before, and Tanner seemed intent on taking charge, strangely, he found himself wanting to let Tanner take the lead. He had always led before, and it felt good to let someone else do it.
Tanner's cock stood out from his sheathe, red and tapered, the twin bulges above his sheathe that has turned out to be the 'roos balls nestled against the shaft. Grant had been so intrigued by those the first time he say the roo without clothes, they had almost done the deed there. Grant had stopped himself, then, he wasn't this time. His own cock had changed that morning, and it slid from his sheathe as well, paler in color than Tanner's but similar in look.
Tanner fell back on the bed and pulled Grant down on top of him, pulling him in close for another kiss. Grant could feel their shafts pressed together, hot and slick He pulled his knees up beside Tanner's hips, his body running on auto pilot. He broke the kiss and sat up as he felt a paw on his hip and..
He felt Tanner's tip pushing at him, right below his tail. What was he doing? He had never had a guy, he wasn't a bottom, but he had. He liked this. He lowered himself onto that shaft, a soft gasp escaping him. He had expected pain, and while it was a strange sensation, it was a good one, he could feel the shaft hitting something inside of him that sent tingles throughout his body.
Memory faded. New, old, missing, planted, it was all gone. There was only the now, only him and this wonderful 'roo. Together, complete. The moved as one, nd Grant had never had the world make so much sense as it did in those few blinding minutes of passion, because there was nothing to make sense of. It just was.
With a shuddering breath, he came, then a moment later felt Tanner's cock twitching inside of him as the kangaroo let out a deep moan under him. They came down, breathing heavily. Grant felt Tanner slip free of him and fell beside him, putting his head on the 'roo's furred chest, smiling softly as he felt an arm wrap around him and pull him closer. "You haven't asked me to stay." Grant said once he found the breath to speak.
"I want you to. But I want you to decide that yourself." Tanner spoke softly, almost to soft to be heard. "If I asked and you agreed you might resent me later. So, best if you come to it on your own." He relt those blunt claw tips combing through his back fur. "Just know, I'll support whatever choice you make."
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Grant snuck down to the kitchen, his bag over his shoulder. It was cowardly and he knew it, but he couldn't face Tanner, not and do this. One look into those brown eyes and he'd cave. But once their passion had faded that hole returned. Deeper and darker than before. He just didn't think life here could fill it up. Tanner. Benny. Even the other few friends he had begun to make. He now longer knew what he was going back to, only that he couldn't live with the break.
He stopped at the check in desk and pulled a piece of paper free. He jotted a quick note, a pathetic apology, and left it folded for Tanner in the kitchen. The sun would be up soon, and so would he. It was best this way. Grant left the inn quiet as he could be and made for his truck.