Jeff sat down in a comfy chair around the conference table and prepared to look interested while other people did the talking at this meeting.
Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way.
"So, Jane, do you want to kick things off for us?" said Chuck, looking directly at Jeff.
"No," blurted out Jeff, realizing a moment too late that he was going to have to start thinking before he spoke if he wanted to pull this off. Fortunately, it got a big laugh around the table. "In case you don't know," Chuck interjected, "Jane is otherwise in the middle of a two-week trip to the tropics and flew back up here just for this meeting."
Jeff saw looks of surprise among the suits in the meeting, and realized he probably should say something. The vibe he got was that this was a big client his mom's company wanted to work with, so he figured he would blow some smoke and see how that went. "No, seriously, this is much more important to me than another fruity cocktail. I don't think I've been hiding my feelings here, we love what you guys do, we think we can help you do it even better, and this is the perfect time to start working together." He paused, trying to think of what would get everyone to stop looking at him. "And now that you're here, we want to show you exactly why."
It worked. Chuck nodded, and a younger guy started up a PowerPoint presentation. As he had promised, Chuck did all the talking from there. Jeff occasionally wondered if he should be speaking more, but he never had a moment where he could think of anything that he was sure would sound smart. Better to be silent and risk being thought stupid, he thought, than open his mouth and eliminate all doubt. Fortunately, nobody asked him anything, his mom's coworkers did fine, and by the end of the meeting, everyone was already talking about their plans to work together. Jeff socialized some more after the meeting broke up, saying nothing interesting, and soon enough it was just him in the room.
He walked out and there was Chuck, waiting for him. "I can't believe how well that went! And just like I said, you didn't have to do anything!"
Jeff wasn't sure he agreed with that, but no point in wrecking the mood. "You did great," he said, as he walked down the hallway, hoping to avoid any more conversation.
Chuck followed. "So you saw I wasn't able to get you a flight back until later tonight." Jeff nodded, not that he had checked out his mom's flight itinerary that no one would ever use. "Do you want to sit in on the Dynolod meeting until you have to go?"
Jeff had no interest in digging any deeper into this hole, so he stumbled out a response. "Oh, no, I have a few other things I've got to review, so I was just going to go to the office."
Chuck looked confused. "Then why aren't you going up to 25?"
Jeff froze. That must be the floor where his mom's office was. Shit. What would get this guy to stop talking to him?
Then it hit him. "Honestly, I really have to use the bathroom."
"Say no more," said Chuck, backing away as he said it. A few seconds later, Jeff was alone again and ready to catch his breath. He found the bathroom and actually did go in for a pee. He couldn't believe he had pulled it off.
Afterwards, he found the elevator, went up to the 25th floor of the building, and wandered around trying to look important until he saw the JANE SMITH nameplate on a door. He went on in, sat down, and turned on the computer. After about two minutes, he realized his mom had the most boring job in the world, but he had to sit in the office for a few more hours to preserve the cover story. That didn't stop him from going to ESPN.com, though.