Instructions read,"To become a strapping for athlete..."? You furrow your brow, and look at the box. "MAGIK JOKSTRAP Made In Shangrila Guaranteed to work good you fit perfect." Ah, that's it the foreign manufacturer probably didn't translate it right, you think.
"To become a strapping for athlete, strip, shower, and concentrate on athlete put on Magik Jokstrap and you will become one clean jock. Perfect fit guaranteed. Counter spell on reverse," is the English version of the instruction. There are a dozen other foreign languages, but you can't read any of them.
"Great, so all I need to do is shower and apply, and I'll become as hot as Kevin Masters," you say. You quickly strip down, and race to the shower. You hurriedly towel dry, and concentrate on the buff quarter back at your high school. You caught a glimpse of the naked hunk one day after practice while delivering a note to the coach from the principal's office where you work as a student aide.
You pull the jockstrap on, and grumble, "Perfect fit? Man this is tight!" Suddenly you feel light-headed. You can here a familiar voice muffled by a metal door.
"Dude, don't you ever change your jockstap, Kevin?"
"Of course, I do. I bring five or six at the beginning of the year and replace them when they get too grungy," there is a sniffing sound, "Yeah, I think you're right, this one is too ripe. Time for a replacement."
You hear a clanking noise. Suddenly, the Magik Jok has fallen off you, and you're in a dark place hanging from a hook. The grilled wall in front of you swings open and you see it's a giant locker door. A giant Kevin Masters looms over you. His hand reaches for you. You're unable to move, as his hand closes around you.
"I thought I had another jockstap in here. Oh, man, it fits like a glove," he says pulling you around his manhood. "This is the most comfortable jockstrap, I've ever worn. I may never take it off," Kevin exclaims massaging you and his crotch, before pulling on the rest of his work out gear.
"Dude, if you plan to never wash it, I'm changing lockers," said Matt Casper.
"Oh, I'll wash it, when I shower," Kevin says grinning.
You're horrified and in shock about what has happened. MENTAL GULP. The translation wasn't wrong. You are "strapping for an athlete," and according to him you are a "Perfect Fit."
Damn, you only glanced at the counter spell on the reverse. What did it say?