Luke woke up, feeling groggy. He'd had the strangest dream. In his dream, for some reason, he'd been a girl. He remembered crying, and even now, his eyes felt damp. But another girl had held him and it had felt good.
He couldn't remember the other girl's face, however. 'Man, dreams are weird', he thought. He started to get up and get ready for school, but then realized it was only Sunday. Oh well, no reason to back to bed now.
As he headed to the bathroom, he ran into Alison, coming out of the laundry room. She was wearing her bathrobe, which he thought was odd. “Doing laundry this early?”
Alison blushed. She didn't want to admit what she was doing, but she needed to talk to someone! “Big bro, can we talk?”
“Uh, sure, come on to my room.” This was odd, but he'd always told Ali she could tell him anything.
She locked his door as they went in. Apparently this was something she didn't want anyone else to hear. He sat on his bed, and she joined him.
“So what's this all about?”
“Luke...um...I think I might be gay.”
Yeah, that would explain why she didn't want anyone else to hear this. Their father wasn't a bad man, really, but he had some flaws. And one of them was bigotry. He hated gay people and would often complain about how stupid the whole thing was. 'There are only two genders, and men should be with women, and that's that!', he would say often.
Luke didn't agree, but it was far easier to just nod and not argue with him. “Are you sure?”
She told him about her dream, and how she'd woken up. “I know, it's disgusting.”
He pulled her into a hug. “No, it's not disgusting. Ok, maybe a little bit, but it's perfectly natural to start having these kinds of feelings at some point. And you say it was about that girl we met yesterday? Lee?”
Alison nodded. “Yeah. I know, it's weird. What do I do?”
“Well, I think you need to do some research. Not at home, obviously. If Dad found out, he'd hit the roof. Maybe we should visit Aunt Sarah.”
Alison nodded. Their mom's younger sister, Sarah, was persona non grata in the house. She and Dad did not get along for a lot of reasons, but one of them was that Sarah was openly bisexual. He'd tried to cut Sarah out of their lives, but it was one of the few things Mom had put her foot down about.
Sarah was her baby sister, and she wasn't going to stop treating her like family. Luke and Ali were allowed to visit, but Dad didn't want to hear about it, so they usually lied about going to the park or the library, places they went often enough anyways that it didn't seem suspicious.
“Yeah, good idea. Can we go now?” Alison looked really upset, and Luke could never say no to his sister. “We should probably both take a shower and get dressed, but after that, yes.”
Alison hugged him and bounded out of his room, her mood dramatically improved. He sighed. If only his problems were so easy...
Less than an hour later, they were out of the house and Luke pulled his car out of the driveway. Aunt Sarah lived across town, so it would be a short drive. Alison fiddled with his stereo like she always did, until she found a playlist she liked on Spotify.
“Ancient 80's? Really?” He chuckled as the Thompson Twins started playing on his stereo.
Ignoring him, Alison sang along “Oh Doctor, Doctor, is this love I'm feeling?”
Luke had no idea why Alison liked 80's music so much, seeing as how she was born a good 30 years later, but it made her happy, so he just shrugged and drove on.
They pulled up in Sarah's driveway, and he texted her to see if she was awake.
Sarah was only 7 years older than he was, and looked younger, so when she opened the door in her yoga outfit (literally a sports bra and very skimpy trunks), he made it a point to not look directly at her.
“Hey it's my favorite niece and nephew! C'mere, Ali, holy shit, you're getting tall, come on in!” Sarah looked like a younger version of their mother, but her personality was completely opposite. Where Mom tended to be soft spoke and reserved, Sarah had enough personality for three people, and she was more like a force of nature than a person.
Within moments, she had them both sitting down in the kitchen and she was raiding her fridge for breakfast. Again, Luke looked away as she bent over, so as not to be caught checking out his Aunt's very shapely rear end.
Andy walked into the kitchen, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, looking half-asleep. Alison giggled and Luke started examining the wall clock with interest. Andy, you see, was Sarah's girlfriend, and though she usually dressed and acted more like a guy than a girl, she was tall and had large breasts.
Sarah backed out of the fridge (by contrast, she was a pretty short girl) and noticed Andy. “Baby! We have guests!”
“Huh? Oh shit, sorry Luke!” Andy grabbed a dishtowel to cover her chest as she retreated from the room. “Be right back!”
“Ok Luke, you can stop pretending you're interested in the time.” Sarah laughed. “And Alison, were you checking out my girl?”
Alison froze and her eyes got big. “Uh...no! I swear!”
Sarah tilted her head at an odd angle. “Uh...I was just teasing, honey. What gives?”
“Can we talk after we eat? Here, let me make some coffee for Andy.” Luke got up.
“Oh Luke, you're such a thoughtful kid. Yeah, Andy obviously has too much blood in her coffee stream.” Sarah frowned, but shrugged and got back to cooking.
Sarah was what you could charitably call an 'unconventional cook'. Not that her food was bad, in fact, it was usually great, but she typically started with whatever leftovers were in the fridge and then got creative. As a result, Luke wasn't entirely sure what he was eating, but it was delicious!
Andy came back into the room, wearing jeans and a short t-shirt over a sports bra, revealing her toned abs. She was really tall for a girl, at 6' 1”, and had short red hair and green eyes. Despite being an active young woman, her skin was pale, as the sun did not agree with her complexion, and she had freckles on her cheekbones and across the bridge of her nose (but curiously, almost nowhere else on her body). She had a cute face, but wasn't exceptionally pretty.
Sarah, of course, was very attractive, with blonde hair and blue eyes, a trait she shared with Luke, Alison, and their Mother. But where Luke was fairly tall, and Alison was average height, she was, in her own words “5' 1” if I stand on my tiptoes!” She wore her hair in a long ponytail.
Sarah jumped up into Andy's arms, and the two kissed before Andy set her girlfriend back down. “I'm happy to see you too, Tiggs.” Andy sat down to eat. “Sorry again, Luke.”
“It's ok, I just didn't want to get a nosebleed.” Luke joked.
“Pfft, I'm not that hot.” Andy protested.
“I beg to differ. You are very hot, my love.” Sarah set out her offerings. “Especially with those giant boobs of yours.”
Andy grumbled. “You can have them. They get in the way of stuff, and they're heavy!”
“Still not letting her get surgery, Aunt Sarah?” Alison asked.
“Hell no! Those suckers are -mine-.” Sarah said happily.
“I thought we agreed when they started sagging we'd talk about it?” Andy said.
“Well they aren't sagging at all, yet, now are they?” Sarah mock glared.
“Yep, that's me, the freak of nature.” Andy joked, only to get swatted on the arm by her girlfriend.
Luke laughed, feeling better watching their antics. “So when are you two going to get married?”
“Ah, Luke, you know Sarah doesn't like weddings.” Andy said.
“Bet she'd change her tune if you offered her a ring.” Alison said.
“Hmph. Well I might, but I doubt your idiot Father would let you guys attend the wedding.” Sarah said.
“Yeah...he's kind of why we're here. You're up, Ali.”
Alison then explained about her dream and her concerns.
“Ope.” Andy said. “So you -were- checking me out?”
Alison blushed. “Uh...a little?”
Sarah shook her head. “Sorry Ali, you're my niece and I love you, but she's mine. Go find your own.”
“She kind of did.” Luke brought up the girl from yesterday, Lee.
“Man, lust at first sight? Well, it sounds like you are attracted to this girl. How do you feel about guys?” Andy asked.
Alison wrinkled her nose. “The only boy I could see myself with is Luke, and he's my brother, so...”
“Oh man, keeping it in the family, huh, Ali?” Sarah grinned. “You know, if Sis wasn't such a prude...”
Luke's ears burned. “I'm not hearing this.”
“Oh come on, your Mom is a fox! Why she married that big dummy Trent I'll never know.” Sarah frowned.
“Should I be concerned that you have feelings for your Sister, Sarah?” Andy said.
“Not unless she magically comes out of the closet. You should be happy Alison is so young, or we'd be having a sleepover one night soon!” Sarah grinned.
Luke wasn't sure if she was joking or not.
Alison sighed. “It sucks being a kid. You're never old enough to do anything fun.”
“Bite your tongue, girl. If I could go back to being...how old are you now, 11? Oh man, 11 was a fun age.” Sarah said.
“Yeah no thanks. 11 sucked for me. Actually most of my childhood did, thinking about it. Things didn't get better til I was 18.” Andy shrugged.
“Oh I don't know, I bet you were adorable, love. If I could go back in time, I'd totally seduce 11 year old you.” Sarah grinned.
“Hey, I thought you said I was too young!” Alison complained.
“Good point. Ok, I'd totally seduce 12 year old Andy.” Sarah corrected.
They all laughed.
Andy and Sarah set Alison up at their computer and gave her some articles to read. Alison also surreptitiously set a CD down and then ushered Luke out of the computer room, closing the door.
“Was that what I think it is?” Andy asked.
Sarah blushed. “Uh, if you mean, was that some softcore lesbian porn? Yes, it totally was.”
Andy tsked. “Corrupting young minds, you know what Trent would say.”
“Oh he can go fuck himself. I'd have killed for that CD when I was her age. My only outlet was Yuri anime.”
Luke coughed.
“Oh, did you want some porn too, Luke? I know guys are totally into lesbians.” Sarah teased.
He sighed. “Honestly, I don't know what I'm into. There's several girls I like and think are cute, but I don't think about having sex with them.”
Andy sat on the couch, and Sarah immediately claimed the tall woman's lap. “Talk to us, Luke. What do you think about doing?”
“Talking, mostly. Hanging out. Maybe...cuddling.” He blushed.
“Hm. Can I ask a question and not have you freak out?” Sarah asked.
He nodded.
“What do you think about boys?”
He looked uncomfortable. “Most guys? Nothing. But a few...I think are attractive. Does that mean I'm...?”
“Not necessarily, Luke. You don't think about sex with them, do you?” Andy asked.
He shook his head. “No.”
“You could be demisexual.” Sarah said. “I mean, I'm not a shrink, and I don't want to put a label on you.”
“What's a demisexual?” Luke frowned.
“Basically, male, female, doesn't matter. Sex is cool, but what you really want is a romantic attachment to someone.” Andy explained. “That's a really simple version and not 100% accurate, but thats what it sounds like. Also, you sound like you like touching. Close physical contact.”
Luke nodded. “Yeah. So it's not weird?”
“Not at all, kiddo. I really like it.” Sarah said.
“Yeah, watch this.” Andy started running her fingers through Sarah's hair.
Sarah gasped and made a soft purring sound. “Baby...you keep that up, and I'll jump you right here.”
“See? She really likes having her hair touched.” Andy did back off.
Luke's mouth felt dry. He imagined himself with long hair like Sarah's, and a girl touching it like that... “Oh fuck.”
“Ooh, looks like I'm not the only weirdo.” Sarah said.
“I never said you were weird.” Andy frowned.
“God, what am I going to do? Dad will go berserk if he thinks I'm a....” he trailed off.
“A what? What word did he use? Sissy? Fag? Gay?” Sarah hissed.
“Fag boy. He said I had to be a 'real man'.” Luke had forgotten about it, he'd been so little...but that dream had brought the memories back. “I don't remember, I think we went to a wedding, and one of my cousins was wearing a really nice dress, and I said it was really pretty and why do girls get to wear pretty clothes and...” He realized he was crying.
Before he knew it, he was on the couch, being flanked by Sarah and Andy, who held him. He couldn't stop crying! “He dragged me into a small room and said...God help me, no son of mine is going to be a fag boy...and he hit me...said I had to be a real man or he'd kick me out of the house and I'd never see Mom again...”
Andy started swearing in Gaelic. Luke didn't understand it, but he knew Andy came from an Irish family. Sarah just hugged him tighter. “Oh honey...you didn't do anything wrong. You. Did. Nothing. Wrong.”
He nodded, but couldn't stop crying.
“Jesus...does Marion know?” Sarah asked. Marion was his Mom's name.
“N...no, I don't think so. You can't tell her!” Luke pleaded.
“The fuck I can't! That's fucking child abuse!” Sarah looked angry, but Andy reached over and touched her hair, which took the fight right out of the smaller girl.
“He's almost 18 now. We have to think about Alison. We can get Luke out of that house soon enough, but she's stuck there. How do you think things would be if Luke was disowned and couldn't even see her?”
Sarah growled but nodded. “Fuck. I'm sorry Luke. I wish you'd told me this a long time ago.”
“I'd forgotten until now. That dream I had last night...really messed me up.” Luke admitted.
“Oh you had a sexy dream too?” Andy tried to lighten the mood.
“No. I don't remember it all, but I was a girl, wearing a dress, and I was crying...and another girl, someone I don't remember, hugged me and told me it was going to be ok.”
“Tell me, Luke, do you want to be a girl?” Sarah asked.
“What, you mean, wear girl's clothes? Get surgery? I couldn't afford that...and I mean...I would have had to start years ago...”
“You looked this up.” Sarah didn't accuse, just stated.
He nodded. “I was curious, yeah. But I could never be...the girl I wanted to be.”
They hugged him again and it made him feel better. “I'm so sorry, Luke. I don't know how I can help.” Sarah looked upset.
“You're helping a lot. Really.” He managed a weak smile.
“So this is why you don't have a girlfriend, even though girls flirt with you all the time, huh?” Andy asked.
“I guess. I mean...what girl would accept how I feel?” He shrugged.
“There's one out there, Luke. I guarantee it.” Sarah said.
They went home later. When Alison had come out of the computer room, her hair was mussed and she looked flushed, but they didn't comment. Though she did admit she was 'pretty sure' she was a lesbian.
But no one laughed- this was a serious moment for the girl. And she didn't need the drama Luke was carrying around.
Dinner was quiet, as they only made vague comments about their day. Their Dad didn't seem to care, and soon went to the living room to watch tv. Mom asked if they were ok, but what could they say?
They were fine, thanks for asking. As for himself, Luke turned in early, hoping he'd have that dream again...