No fumes - in fact, no nothing.
"Damn," Jessica thought. "Maybe I didn't mix it enough."
She screwed a lid tight onto the jar and shook it vigorously. A handful of bubbles desultorily rose to the top of the liquid, but still, not smoke, no fumes.
"Are you sure this is the right mixture?" Jessica asked her now-infant husband.
As best he could, Rick nodded and attempted to shrug his shoulders, to indicate that he was - pretty - sure, but certainly not 100%.
"Ooh, you're not going to be any help in THAT condition," Jessica snorted. "Well, someone's going to have to test this out. It's the only way to begin to reverse
your change so you can brew up a version that we can control and sell!"
She carefully unscrewed the lid and lifted one edge off the jar, then, using a clean eyedropper, sucked an ounce or two of the liquid up and screwed the lid back
on.
Grabbing a nearby glass, she emptied the eyedropper into it, then, balancing Rick on her hip, started upstairs to the kitchen, carrying the glass in her free hand.
Once upstairs, she put the glass on the counter and stopped to think, unconsciously rocking rick up and down on her hip.
"Who, who?" she mused. Perhaps the old man next door. Or maybe my friend Sally - she'd certainly be surprised to see her surgically altered physique returned to
'au naturel.' Jessica grinned widely at THAT thought. She picked up the book of friend's and relative's phone numbers from the shelf next to the wall phone, then
sat at the table, placing Rick squarely in the center of the tabletop, and began leafing through the pages.
She failed to notice when Brandon came in. He smiled at his Dad and held up a 'shush' finger to his lips as he stepped to the refrigerator to find a soda.
Rick stared desperately at his son, trying to communicate his predicament and what Jessica had already done.
Brandon interpreted this as normal baby play, and made faces back at his Dad as he poured the soda into the nearest glass (brandon thought his Dad seemed to be
really into this game, rocking his head back and forth, eyes wide, making 'nuh -nuh' sounds), replaced the bottle and drank deeply.
"Ah, that was what I needed," he said aloud, smacking his lips.
"Huh? Oh, Brandon. I oidn't hear you come in," Jessica began, then noticed the glass her teenage sone was holding. "Bran-- don! You didn't drink from THAT
glass, did you? That's the one I put the -- oh, crap on a cracker!"
"Um, what, Mom?" Brandon responded. "What, was this your drink? Sorry, I guess I wasn't paying attention. Dad was making faces at me and I was goofing
around with him."
"No, my son, my sometimes idiotic, head-in-the-clouds but I still love him dearly, son," Jessica said tartly. "That glass had some of the formula your Dad showed
me how to mix in it. I was trying to figure out a way to test it, and ...." The sentence drifted off.
"WHAT? Shee-yit!" Brandon expoloded. "So I'm going to be - like Dad?"
"Now, Brandon, we don't know for sure that that's what will happen. And, even if it does, that's GOOD!" Jessica began.
"Good?" Brandon asked. "How can it be freakin' GOOD to be a freakin' BABY again? Hell, I haven't had the chance to even be a MAN yet!"
Jessica, ever the voice of reason in a family crisis, tried to calm her son. "Now, now. Nothing's happened yet, has it? And, even if it does, all that means is that the
formula is right - or at least close - so I can start on an antidote and then your father and I can work out a way top control and hopefully market this stuff. Think
about that for a minute, young man."
The word 'young' triggered more panic. "Oh,man, how young do I look now?" Brandon pleaded, patting himself on the chest and stomach to check for anything
odd.
"Honestly, I don't see any change at all," Jessica said calmly. "Come here and let me get a good look at you." "Dammit - must be the wrong mix," she thought to
herself, and cast an angry glance towards Rick, who was busy poking one chubby finger into his belly button, intently watching it go in and out.
Rick shuffled across the floor. Jessica stood up. "There, you see?" she said, "You're still taller than me, and still my handsome son, just like always. Take a look for
yourself, if you don't believe me."
"Yes'm," Brandon said softly, and loped off to the nearest bathroom, where he planted his fingers over the edge of the sink, bent over, arms locked straight, and
stared hard enough to bore holes through the mirror above.
"Well, my OTHER little man," Jessica began, picking up her husband, "We're just going to have to go back downstairs and keep at this until we get it right. Why,
oh why can't you learn to keep decent notes as you play around down there, hmm - hmm?" She cooed as she rubbed her nose against baby Rick's.
Ten minutes later, still clutching the sink and staring at every pore in his reflection, Brandon decided that maybe nothing was going to change. He looked exactly the
same. In fact, this whole thing was kind of silly, and he was getting bored. He stuck his tongue out and began to make faces, laughing at his reflection doing the
same, then he skipped out of the bathroom.
"Mom? Mommy?"
Jessica, in the basement lab, didn't hear the voice at first.
"Mommm-meeee!"
"Brandon? Is that you? I'm down here, sweetie. What is it? Mommy's kind of busy right now." she answered, distractedly.
Then it clicked. "'Mommy?' Brandon hadn't called her that for ages. Still, it SOUNDED like Brandon ...."
"Come on down here, Brandon. Maybe you can help out," Jessica shouted. "Now, Rick, we're going to try again. This time I'm going to bring each chemical to
you, and you lift your right arm for 'yes' and your left arm for 'no,' OK?"
Rick was getting very sleepy. He couldn't understand anymore why his wife was nagging him so. All he wanted to do was shut his eyes for a few minutes.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Jessica spun around to the open door.
There was 18-year-old Brandon, one thumb jammed into his mouth, an anguished look in his eyes, his other arm idly swinging back and forth. And the spreading
dark spot on the front of his expensive designer-label pants signalled only one thing - he'd wet himself.
"Crap on a cracker!" Jessica exploded, shaking her head in disbelief.