"Thank a' that is holy!" Fiona cried. "Ah've waited fur this day fur mair years than ah kin count!"
Tori blushed, suddenly remembering she was talking to two naked vampires... two incredibly sexy naked vampires. She tried to make small talk to push that thought back out. "Must've been horrible living with Drusilla for that long."
"Drusilla?" asked Fiona. "Wis that her name? She aye called herself Matriarch Clíodhna nic Rònaighach aroond us."
"Well, she's actually Drusilla von Wisborg," said Tori. "She was the seer of Count Tiberius von Wisborg, one of Austria's nastier vampire patriarchs."
"Seemed to be getting pretty damn sloppy in her seeing game, though," said Erzulie. "Never even saw us coming."
"Really, this whole mission's been pretty damn easy," Tori remarked.
"I have this odd premonition that the real crazy's about to come for us next mission," said Erzulie. "Y'know, the Beck thing. This mission was almost a kind of prologue, I think."
"Mission?" asked Bodhmall. "Are you monster hunters?"
"Yes," said Tori. "We're here to rescue you and Fiona."
"'N' ah cannae thank ye enough fur that! " said Fiona. "That she-demon wis as pure nasty as thay come! She'd tak' us yin by yin ev'ry festival day. If she saw potential in ony o' us, she'd mak' us lik' her. Th' rest she simply ate. She used some sort o' magic tae pat maist o' us under her power, bit it ne'er worked oan me. A've bin praying someone lik' ye wid come fur sae lang!"
"Happy to help," said Erzulie. She turned to the other vampire. "and what's your story, Bodhmall?"
"Call me Megan," said the fledgling. "I'm a college student, and I came to this village in hopes it would shed new light on my anthropology course. Before I knew that was happening, I'm named guest of honor at some fertility ritual, this hot chick's stripping me naked, I'm in a castle, something's biting my neck, all of a sudden I feel a rush of power, and then everyone in the room's dead but us. Listening to the three of you, I guess I'm a vampire?"
"You are," said Erzulie as she nicked her arm with a knife and let the blood trickle into a little clay pot filled with a green powder. "We can fix that though. I'll just need a bit of your venom."
"Oh, no thank you," said Megan. "I actually think I'm digging this vampire thing. I just don't want to be this Drusilla person's vampire. She sounds like a bitch."
"She wis indeed," said Fiona. "She wanted tae control everything. She even changed mah name tae Findabair. By th' wey, ah wull murdurr a'body wha tries tae ca' me that."
"Promise," said Megan. "Anyway, I think I'll be staying this way. Is that alright?"
Erzulie gritted her teeth. "I... suppose. But understand that we WILL hear about it if you kill anyone!" She turned to Fiona. "I guess this cure's for you, then. I'll just need a drop of your venom."
Fiona happily squirted a bit of venom from her fangs into the little clay pot. Erzulie sealed it up and then smashed it with a silver hammer inscribed with the sigils of many loa.
Fiona happily felt her mouth as her fangs receded. Suddenly, she felt her heart begin to warm with new blood. She stared at her hands with joy as the color returned to them. "Ah'm alive again! Ah mean, PURE alive! Ah'm human, mortal. Thank ye sae much. Is thare anythin' ah kin dae fur ye?"
"Well," said Tori, "you do have inside information on vampires. Wanna team up with us for a bit? Our next mission'll involve vampires in part."
"Juist let me visit Faither foremaist 'n' let him ken ah've bin rescued," said Fiona. "Then ah will follow ye anywhere."
"Happy to hear it," Tori smiled. A thought then came to her. She turned to Megan. "I really don't like vampires running around were I can't keep an eye on them. How about you join in on the case, too? Your powers might be useful. Also there's a vampire clan called the von Karnsteins where we're going. I have... personal issues with them, but they've been on good behavior for several centuries now. If they turn out to have their hands clean this time, you can join up with them. Sound good, bloodsucker?"
Megan smiled. "Sounds like the best deal a vampire could hope to get out of a monster hunter, that's for sure! Who knows? We might end up best friends forever!"
Tori groaned internally. In her experience, the worst kind of vampires to have around were the perky vampires. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever, bloodsucker. No please go put some fucking clothes on!"