(no subject)
C
Cans For Ghost
to me
2 hours agoDetails
"Why are *you* here?" Reece asked.
"Is there an echo in the house?" Savannah said sarcastically.
"Oh wow, I love your earrings!" Kylie gushed, pointing at Savannah's dangling crescent moon earrings.
"Thanks!" the red haired femme fatale replied to the blonde, smiling politely.
"And your boots are dope too! And your face and your eyes and your boobs. I love everything about you! You...Oh my God Aziza, is this the woman you don't like?" Kylie asked her girlfriend, turning to face Aziza.
Aziza said nothing, but her body language was saying everything for her.
"It is! Oh my God, this woman is fucking gorgeous! She's like objectively the most attractive person I've ever seen..."
*Beat*
"... I mean outside of you, of course!"
Kylie then reached across the table and kissed Aziza on the lips, with a hint of tongue.
Reece was getting upset that his home away from home apparently wasn't so secret anymore.
"Really, why are you here?"
"Because of that" Savannah said, pointing at the snowglobe sitting on the table.
"Do you know how much trouble it's caused our Earth, Regina? The entire planet is trapped inside an eternal winter! It hasn't stopped snowing in months. Hawaii looks like Siberia right now. Do you know how many crops, how much food going into mouths, has been lost thanks to this?"
"Months?" Reece yelped, his heart dropping in his chest, turning towards Aziza. "You said that this started a week ago."
"It did start only a week ago!"
Savannah rolled her eyes.
"For a physics teacher and the Sorceress Supreme, you're really slow sometimes, dear. I know you cast a time dilation spell between our dimension and this one."
"Yeah, I do that so people can't find me. Sometimes I need time to myself."
"And how is that working out for you?"
"The spell is completely harmless!" Reece yelled defensively.
She took a look into Savannah's fiery green eyes.
"Goddess, what happened now?"
"Regina, it's currently June 8th on our Earth. It's summertime, but it looks like Elsa took a big vomit all over everything. Everything is in chaos. Jobs. Schools. It's like Covid, but worse."
Aziza gasped. Reece muttered a curse word under his breath. Kylie took a sip of booze.
"Whatever sorcery is doing this messed up your spell, Regina, and now this dimension is stuck five months in the past. The department asked me to bring you and Aziza back home so you can help us end this nonsense. Fix everything back to where it should be. We've tried everything in our power to stop it ourselves, but we just can't. As much as I don't like asking for help, we need you two."
Reece let the bad news sink in for a minute.
"OK. I guess I have no choice. If it's for the good of the world, I'm in. A sorcerer's work is never done, I suppose."
Aziza spoke next.
"No. I'm not helping you" she said flatly. "I'm not working for evil people. Regina and I can fix this ourselves."
"No woman is an island, Aziza" replied Savannah neutrally. "We can accomplish a hell of a lot more as a team than we ever could by ourselves. What do you think witch covens are for?"
"I don't know, an excuse for goth girl orgies back when the patriarchy was still a thing?"
Savannah smirked, slightly.
"Well, that too, but so much about magic is based around the soul. One soul is like a flickering candle. It can't do much on it's on and it blows out easily. Many souls working together however is..."
"Don't magicsplain to me. We're the ones who taught *you*, and in my opinion, I think that was a huge mistake."
"Then you should know better than anyone that when people work together, when we combine all of our gifts, our souls working in tandem can become like a raging inferno. We fuse together and become greater. Like a..."
"...Like Steven Universe!" Kylie yelled out, interrupting the explanation.
"Yes dear, or like Voltron for the adults in the room" Savannah said.
"How old is Kylie again, Aziza?" Reece groaned. "Twelve?"
"I'm going to be 27 in October!" Kylie answered.
"Definitely old enough to take responsibility for your actions then" Savannah said.
"What did you say?" Aziza asked angrily, her eyes taking on their own fiery quality.
Just as things were starting to get tense, a random black man stopped by at the table, somewhat buzzed. He slapped Reece on the back, startling Reece a little, the man's eyes ogling Savannah, Kylie, and Aziza lecherously.
"Buddy, I'm so jelly, you've got the best seat in the house! You've got three perfect dimes keeping you company. Mind if I join in, pimp?"
"Um" Reece said awkwardly, not sure what to say to this horny stranger. Thankfully, Savannah didn't skip a beat. She stared right back at him confidently, a sly smirk on her face.
"We're all lesbians, my guy. We're not the girls you're looking for. Move along."
Aziza worried for a moment whether this rando was going to give them all a hard time, either being belligerent or sexually harassing them, but surprisingly the man took things in stride.
"No worries. You ladies enjoy the New Year. Keep them safe, Dyke Whisperer" he said, and stumbled towards the front of the bar.
Kylie giggled, staring at Reece.
"He called you the Dyke Whisperer. That's funny."
Things quickly got back to business.
"Aziza, you're in no position to be so self righteous" Savannah stated.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh please. You know as well as I do every reprehensible thing that 51/50 Sabrina Spellman has done."
Aziza silently grabbed Kylie's dangling hand from underneath the table.
"OK, we're leaving."
Aziza's chair screeched against the floor as she pulled it away from the table. She tried to pull Kylie along with her, but met resistance.
"Wait" Kylie said to her girlfriend. "I want to hear this. What did I do?"
"Honey" Aziza pleaded softly. "You've done nothing wrong. Now let's get going before..."
"I can tell you" Savannah said. "I can't read you your entire rap sheet, or else we'd be here all week, but I can give you the bullet points."
"Oh Goddess" Reece said, resting his head on the table. He knew the drama that was coming and he didn't like it at all.
Kylie, who thanks to Aziza's spell only vaguely remembered her past life, recalling certain specific details here and there, but most of it feeling like a daydream, sat back down.
"You are what we like to unofficially call a Malificent Class sorcerer. Personally, I call you an incel who got lucky. On your version of Earth, you destroyed your entire town and transformed it into your own living hell, a monument to your self pity for being unpopular in high school. Glendale was quarantined from the rest of the United States and declared a warzone after you transformed flocks of birds into tactical nuclear warheads and used them to bomb major cities around the world, killing over one hundred million innocent people, destroying the environment for generations, destabilizing the geopolitical landscape, and effectively dooming the human race singlehandedly. Besides that, you committed numerous individual acts of murder, torture, rape, assault, and nonconsensual transformation on unwilling participants. At first, beginning on Halloween night 2011, you began by torturing a party full of your fellow high school students, but when you got bored of that, you eventually moved on to people who had nothing to do with you. Some of your greatest hits include transforming a girl who once dumped you into a grotesque human slug hybrid, a perfectly healthy man walking his dog into having Stage 4 stomach cancer, his dog into a human canine hybrid whom proceeded to rape said man, a pregnant woman's unborn child into a monster that ate her alive from the inside out, a team of commandos sent into Glendale to extract you into cockroaches whom you proceeded to step on, your next door neighbor into sentient lasagna whom you proceeded to eat from a bowl while she was screaming for help without a mouth, a..."
"Enough!" Aziza screamed.
She attempted to drag Kylie away from the table, but the curvy blonde wouldn't move.
"I did all that?" she asked Savannah, her jubilant voice evaporated, replaced by fear and uncertainty.
"I'm afraid so, dear. And a lot more."
"Kylie, don't listen to her" Aziza pleaded. "She's not telling you the whole truth. She's trying to lure you away from me. She..."
"I just want Kylie Perkins to answer for her crimes" Savannah said plainly. "Don't her victims deserve justice?"
Aziza was fuming mad.
"What about you? I've read your mind. All the terrible things that you've done, all the people you've hurt, and you have the gall to be so self righteous? How dare you?"
"You only read what I allowed you to read, Aziza, and I do what I do so innocent people don't get hurt. Whataboutism should have died with the Soviet Union."
Aziza wanted to argue with Savannah and prove this bitch wrong. Well...what she *really* wanted was to turn her into a fish right now, but she bit her tongue.
"Kylie, come on. We'll find another way to fix the eternal winter."
She grabbed the cursed snow globe and started to walk outside, her hand locked with her girlfriend. They'd walk back to the same alley they arrived in and open the portal to go home.
"Yep, go back home" Savannah taunted. "Have Kylie be some useless druggie couch potato. Go live off of your parents for the rest of your lives and ignore the fact that she's Freddy Krueger in Barbie doll packaging."
"That's it!" Aziza screamed, and impulsively shot a magical bolt of energy at Savannah, the lightning throwing the agent's body across the room, Savannah landing hard against a brick wall.
Everyone at the bar suddenly looked up at the angry Middle Eastern woman who apparently was in a catfight with the redhead.
Aziza didn't see the smirk on Savannah's face as she picked herself off the floor.
She was going to enjoy this. She had been itching for a fight for months.
With a casual flick of her wrist, she magically tossed Aziza out the door, onto the street, right onto her ass.