Will Weiss marched into her sister's room and crossed her arms. "Roxy, we need to talk!"
Roxy sighed. Will could be such a bitch when she thought someone was a monster. "Is this about Valeria?"
Will tugged irritatedly at her copper-hued ponytail. "What else? I'm glad that you found her for me, but I seriously don't want you messing around with that leech anymore. Leave her and her clan to me."
Roxy rolled her blue eyes. "Ugh, for the thousandth time, Will, the von Karnsteins aren't vampires! Vampires don't exist!"
"Don't let Mom or Grandpa hear you say that!" Will shouted. "Remember, we're half Harker! Our ancestor killed Dracula himself! You're talking like a disgrace to Jonathan Harker's memory!"
"Harker, Schmarker!" Roxy scoffed. "I know people say Bram Stoker published our great-grandfather's journals, but I refuse to believe that real events went into that book. Mark my words, what probably happened was Bram Stoker and Jonathan Harker were swapping scary stories on a rainy day, and they both came up with an idea together that they thought was good enough to publish. You know, like how Frankenstein was written."
"That wasn't fictional either, Roxy," said Will. "Grandpa actually teamed up with his cousin Jonathan Vordenburg to locate the remains of Doctor Frankenstein's laboratory and demolish it. Good thing, too, since a distant relative of the Mad Doctor was looking for it as well..."
"Please, Will!" Roxy interrupted. "No more of Grandpa's bullshit monster stories! You know he makes them all up!"
"I'm not letting walk into a den of bloodsuckers!" Will growled.
"And I'm not letting YOU keep me from finding myself a girlfriend!" Roxy screamed. "I'm and adult now, Wilhelmina Lucy Weiss! You can't tell me what to do anymore, and I'm going down to Stokerville to hook up with Valeria von Karnstein!"
Will groaned. "Fine, so I can't stop you from going. I'll just go WITH you instead."
Roxy nearly fell out of her chair. "WHAT?!!"
"You heard me," Will said icily. "I'm going to chaperone you. It'll be my responsibility to keep you safe from the horny lesbian vampires, or (assuming your right about vamps not being real, which you AREN'T) to make sure you don't get too fucked up on those 'rich people drugs' you were boasting about taking with Valeria."
Roxy sighed theatrically. "I guess I can't stop you, Sis. Fine, we're both going to Stokerville tomorrow. Then I'll PROVE to you that the von Karnsteins are nothing but some reclusive millionaires."