"Hey everyone and welcome to the latest episode of our coverage of Summer 2022 Events." said Malice, starting the latest episode.
"We've just got our fur trimmed short because we've got the biggest heat wave going on in Animalia." said Sarah. "Fortunately, this is causing all kinds of hilarious things being caught on camera, so let's get started."
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"Of course, times like this are best spent in the pool, or similar places." Said Sarah, getting the first set of clips ready. "And, these days, it's all about showing off, not just bods, but swimsuits as well." Then they started playing the clips of people and Animalians in swimsuits. While this was more like a fashion show than a mess-ups compilation, there were still some who had their swimsuits malfunction in hilarious ways. Other clips were more like trying to attract attention with their choice of swimsuit with all kinds of mixed results.
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"There are lots of ways of entering bodies of water, not just pools." said Malice, getting the next batch of clips ready. "Of course, no matter how much planning is done, a task can still go comically sideways." This was true from the very first clip, where Miles' mom, Louise (whom everyone was surprised to learn was an Amazonian Pink River Dolphin) did a photoshoot while posing on a branch above the river with her feet in the water but snagged her bikini bottom on the branch she had been sitting on when she tried to "artfully" enter the water, thereby causing the "mother of all wedgies", as one commenter put it. Miles wasn't there to see it because he was doing coverage of what was now officially being called the "Cave of Xilbalba", due to the large number of Pre-Columbian, Mesoamerican artifacts that were being found down there.
Another clip showed a large guy trying to slide down a slide into the river, headfirst, only to be stopped nearly at the edge by a loud *skreeektch*, which was, as a different commenter put it, "the sweet sound of friction". Yet another clip showed two girls trying to backflip into a pool at Vilcabamba, and both messing it up, creating what a different commenter called a 'back-flop'. Finally, there was a clip of a girl who tried to swing on a vine into the river, only to horribly mess it up to a chorus of "Christine, no! Christine!".
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"Of course, it's not just swimming that summer is bringing around." said Sarah, setting up a different group of clips. "But as we all know, this is generating problems of its own." At this there were quite a few clips of Animalians partaking in outdoor summertime sports such as Track and Field, and Tennis. There were a few sports that were colony specific, such as Mieni Atoll's Beach Volleyball and Heiya Island's Martial Arts Showcase and Tournament. There still weren't any Soccer, Football, etc. going on since the balls were still being adjusted for Animalian's increased strength and/or claws.
What was quickly going viral was a male college student acting all overconfident since he had won State Tennis before school let out, and "tooting his own horn" in front of Miss Fabina during a pick-up game (which almost all the sports going on was), only for him to get "a ball to the balls", much to everyone else's amusement.
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Next was an interview with one of the newest, and most unusual, couples. They've actually been making waves for a while, but it was only now that they were getting officially interviewed. While they were both originally male and female, they were so androgynous that it was hard to tell, not to mention that both had been confirmed to be asexual, thereby allowing them to enter Project Hermaphroditus. After they had successfully converted into hermaphrodite horse Animalians (double dosed), their newly awakened libidos were just as off the charts as Lee's was after she converted into a mangrove killifish Animalian, if just a little more. Not only had they dyed their manes and tails exotic colors but had also gotten what had politely been called "flank tattoos". Fortunately, the libido suppressors they had taken that morning lasted the entire interview so nothing inappropriate was shown.
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"And finally," said Malice, "Due to the war in Ukraine, Animalia and its colonies in Europe has gotten an influx of Ukranian refugees."
"However, some of the older refugees are actually suffering from radiation poisoning from the Chernobyl disaster." said Sarah, "Because of this, they've been fast-tracked to Project Phoenix, with sponsorship from Animalia's 'Hulk-Bunni'." at that, there were two blank, featureless digital models of Hunni shown on screen: one before her conversion and one after. "Part of the reason why we're doing this is to try to find out how Hunni Bunni got so... big." At that there was a clip from one of the Incredible Hulk movies where the Hulk undergoes one of his transformations.
"A similar thing is going on at Heiya Island," said Malice, "However, these are actually suffering from the Fukushima nuclear disaster." At that there were some clips from the official coverage of the event by various media sources at the time.
"However," said Sarah, after the clips wrapped up, "whether or not this is true, Horizon has made it clear that they will not, I repeat, will not offer 'radiation therapy' as an option to upliftings or conversions." At that, there were many who reacted with digital forms of disappointment, with a few who were actually expressing relief.
"And that's all the time we have for this episode," said Malice, wrapping up the episode. "We'll see you all during our special coverage of Animalia's Fourth of July celebrations.