“By the way,” Beck added,” I forgot to mention we just recently added a new wing to the resort-the Clown Wing.”
“The Clown Wing?” Jason’s left eyebrow raised up; Sally’s ears perked up with interest.
“Yes. Its addition is very recent, I’m not surprised you didn’t learn about it in the brochure,” said Beck. You book this wing, you will become, quite literally, a clown that is an outward manifestation of your personality-although you may exhibit traits you have long been repressing. Your complexion will become either a creamy white from head to toe, or orange, pink, or peach with white around your eyes or mouth. Other markings will appear on your face to complete your ‘makeup’ such as black or blue arches for eyebrows. Your mouths will stretch into fixed smiles, and your hair will turn into unnatural colors and restyle itself.
“This is often accompanied by weight gain, especially with men; very likely sir, you could gain up to eighty pounds to a hundred pounds. Two features all clowns share, is their noses inflate into round red balls that honk when squeezed, and their feet grow into ridiculous sizes.”
“Do they really?” Sally giggled.
“Indeed,” Beck nodded. “And the change is not merely physical; it also affects the subconscious. Clowns speak in a voice reminiscent of a silly cartoon character, and frequently punctuate their sentences with giggles, guffaws, and honking their noses.”
Sally grinned. “Oh Dad, let's get that one!” She had always loved clowns ever since she was a little girl; every other Halloween she would dress up as one.
“I don’t know dear,” Jason mused; he didn’t really share his daughter's interest in clowns. Truth to tell, he always thought they were kind of annoying.
“Oh please, Dad,” Sally said. She gave him the puppy dog eyes and pouty lips he couldn’t resist.
“Oh, very well,” her father muttered. “We’ll take the Clown Wing.”
“Excellent, sir.” Beck opened a laptop. “If I may ask, sir is baldness common in your family?”
“Well,” Jason ran a hand through his hair, thankful he made it to his forties with it full and thick, “My father was bald, and so was one of my grandfathers; the other died in his twenties.
“Sir, I might as well tell you there is an excellent chance that, if you do this, will go at least partially bald as your new clown hairstyle.”
“But it will grow back, right? When our vacation is over?”
Beck pursed his lips. “In most cases yes. However, there have been a few instances of bald clowns remaining bald after becoming human again. It’s rare, and we calculate it’s a 1 and 250 chance of that happening. Just so you know.
“Aw c’mon Dad, do it.” Sally was picturing how her father would look bald, both as a clown and a human.
And the thought made her giddy.
“Oh, very well.” Jason reached into his wallet and pulled out his American Express. “Book us for the Clown Wing.”
“Thank you, sir.” Beck took the card and ran it through, next he typed into his laptop. “I’ve book you both a room; there will already be two closets filled with the appropriate clothes to were after your-change.” He typed in some more. “Now, can the two of you tell me what kind of clown you want to be?”