"So, this is the place, Mom?" twelve-year-old Chris asked his mother Janice.
"Yes," replied Janice as she turned off the ignition. The took three deep breaths as she took out the keys and placed them in her purse.
"Mom," Chris said, "are you really sure you want to do this? I mean it's-."
"No, no, I need to." Janice was a nurse and had recently been transferred to her hospital's pediatric wing. It was a good move except for one problem-caring clowns frequently came to visit the most severely affected patients and cheer them up.
And Janice had a crippling case of coulrophobia.
As long as she could remember, Janice had been deathly afraid of clowns. She didn't understand it; the rational part of her mind would keep telling her they were just people in makeup and costumes and nothing to be afraid of. But she was.
She thought she could handle it, but just a week ago a very large troupe of clowns came for the birthday party of a little girl with leukemia. As they passed back through the hallways, Janice had a nervous breakdown that left her crying in the broom closet.
Her immediate superior Nurse Jeanine listened to her and told her about this place, where she'd had a vacation. And it had a special section that could help with her-problem.
Janice looked over at Chris. "Thanks for coming with me."
"No problem, mom." Chris didn't particularly like clowns, but he didn't hate or fear them the way his mother did. If his being here could help her overcome her phobia he was happy to help.
The mother and son got out of the car and walked into the building's main lobby.
They were directed inside to the desk for the Clown Wing. Sitting there was a young woman with SAMANTHA printed on her name tag.
Janice and Chris gave their names.
"Oh yes, you're the coulrophobia case," she said warmly. "Don't worry, once you've been turned into a clown and spend some time as one, you will be completely over your fear. You'll even realize how silly it is."
Samanthe opened up a laptop and typed on the keys. "Before I book you, I need to inform you of a few things. This wing is relatively new, and we don't have all the info out yet.
She explained how the change was not merely physical but mental as well-how those transformed would feel to behave like clowns, use comically exaggerated hand expressions, and punctuating their words with guffaws, giggles, and honking their noses. "Wait-so that actually happens??" Janice couldn't believe what she heard. "If I-change-my nose actually swells into a honking red ball?"
Samantha nodded. "And you get big clown feet. And most gain weight too, ranging from merely chubby to borderline obese. Don't it doesn't happen to everyone-and if it does-you lose it once you change back."
Her eyes twinkled as she looked at Chris. "And you, young man-does male-pattern baldness run in your family?"
"What!" Chris couldn't believe what he just heard.
"My ex his father-he's going bald," Janice said. "And my father and many of the men on my side of the family are bald too."
"Well, if that's the case-in such cases there's a large chance YOU will become at least partially bald as part of your new clown hairstyle." Now Janice actually smiled as she saw her son grab at his hair. "Don't worry it should grow back once you become human again." Seeing Chris squirm at the thought of being bald really helped lift Janice's mood-although she still felt nervous.
"Now," said Smantha as she typed some more, then turned the laptop in their direction, showing several pictures of types of clowns and descriptions, "What kind of clowns do the two of you want to be?"