Turns out, I didn't need to show him anything about his new equipment. While he was calming me down, our mother called each of us down to talk to us.
Brad's teacher, now MY teacher, showed up at the door to drop off "Brad's" second grade material that I would be responsible for doing. Brad doesn't have to work on my 11th grade work while we're off, because I had left him ahead of the work. I was not only a grade ahead for my age, but I was also ahead in my school work for my grade. Whereas, Brad was falling behind in 2nd grade.
Great! Just great! Another reminder that I'm stuck in grade school and will be for 3 years at least! And forced to do extra work just to catch up where Brad had left me off!
Luckily, Mom wasn't going to make me do any school work for the rest of the day. After the meeting with *BRAD'S* teacher, he had to run upstairs, trying to hide his grin, and go to the bathroom. Apparently I found out later he had "figured it out" on his own, when he saw a photo of my girlfriend. Or rather, *HIS* girlfriend now, on my cell phone. Which also was no longer mine! I no longer *HAVE* a cell phone, as Brad was always deemed by our parents to be too young to have one!
Anyway, he found my photos of Lizzy and "discovered" himself in the bathroom. So I didn't have to teach him anything. He taught himself. I suppose that comes with the instinct of having my body. Which means....which means....do I know anything about that subject!? I checky knowledge. I realize I still like Lizzie. That she's a very pretty older girl. Older!? Oh great. I'm stuck in Brad's mindset! 16 years old seems to be old to me now that I think about it.... Even though I was 16 just a day ago. I'm just a midget, compared to my old crush! The thought of her makes me feel humiliated, being stuck as my little brother now. All I am, is just a cute adorable little face to her.....
Anyway, this is the way my life went the next couple of days. Trying to cope with my reduced role. I was also forced to do Brad's school work in order to try and catch back up. Which was way harder than I remember it being. I mean. 8 x 8!? I know I used to know that! I try counting on my long skinny little fingers. But it's hopeless. I'm told by my now-older brother that I just have to memorize it. The times table. He found it quite easy, of course! He has MY intelligence, which I worked hard at obtaining. Now I have to work hard at it again! It just wasn't fair!
The hardest thing of all to get over, was seeing Bradley's big blue-eyed reflection in reverse staring back at me anytime I looked at myself in the mirror. I am grateful that he is at least a really good looking cute little kid. But still. To be stuck with such an impossibly youthful little face.... It always sorta took me by surprise anytime I looked in the mirror. Those big blue eyes instead of my soft chocolate brown.
I also don't like the pale skin tone I'm now stuck with either. Or my short, skinny 8 year old frame. I just sigh at my sad new reflection of my sad new reality. I'm just a kid again. Just a little kid! As far as the rest of the world is concerned, I've only been around for just 8 measly little years! I'm not supposed to remember much of anything beyond just 2 years ago! But I do. I remember clearly my first time through 2nd grade. I just don't have the mental capacity to skip right back up to my nearly-finished 10th grade level. Hell, I may even have to repeat 2nd grade! For the THIRD TIME, as Bradley was in danger of being held back!
"2nd gwada," I mumbled to myself in Bradley's voice, stuck inside Bradley's cute little frame. His body completely and totally devoid of any hair at all. Just perfectly smooth pale skin.
Sighing again, I stripped down to his tighty whiteys. Just barely an outline of his little pee-pee showing through. Whimpering, I tug them down what's supposed to be his skinny little legs. And right there, in between his hairless legs, is the smallest little immature hairless pecker in existence! I was instantly humiliated, knowing I now was in possession of a male appendage only good for peeing for at least the next 4 years!
I did try to stimulate it. But it was useless! I tried thinking of my girlfriend, now BRAD'S girlfriend. But nothing. I was now nothing more than just a little boy. Again. As someone else that wasn't supposed to be me. A body that didn't even exist for half of my actual life.
Then the thought of school hit me. Of having to enter a second grade classroom again. I already felt oddly out of place in my mind about imagining what it will be like to be forced to step foot into Brad's classroom and to have to take his assigned elementary school desk, as I stood there looking at Brad's naked little prebubescent body that I was now stuck with.
This wasn't fair! My entire life has been competely altered!
"Bradley. Are you taking your bath yet?" I heard my mom's soft voice through the door, as she knocked gently from the other side.
To be called "Bradley" in that moment while I stared at my reflection of Bradley made a "click" in my mind. In that moment, I was somehow no longer in denial. I WAS Bradley now. But I wanted to continue to deny it anyway.