The lights of the studio were bright, but Danny was used to it by now. The smile he forced at the host of the late night talk show was also something he’d now done hundreds of times. So often, in fact, that it felt less and less fake as time went on.
“I have to say, you’re the most eloquent three-year-old I’ve ever met,” the host said, smiling at Danny with too many teeth. Danny laughed politely.
“Well, if you’ll remember, I used to be an adult.”
“And you gave it up to tour for this company.”
“That’s right,” Danny lied. The true story as to how he’d become a toddler was kept secret, since it wasn’t considered flattering. Instead, he told people that all his coworkers at the store had been offered an opportunity to advertise for the toddler company, with the only caveat that they’d have to become a toddler to do so. As the fake story went, Danny was the only one to accept the offer. “I used their products when I was three the first time and I’ve got relatives who really support the company too, so I just felt like I had to do it, y’know?”
“No, not really,” the host said. The studio audience laughed. “But good on you for having the cajones!” The director looked at Danny and signaled. Obediently, Danny pushed. With a loud fart, his bowels emptied into his diaper. “Uh-oh!”
“I’d be a bad spokestot if I didn’t use the products, Jim,” Danny said. The host and audience laughed.
“Well, that was a perfectly timed boom-boom if I’d ever heard one, because we’ve got to go to commercial. Danny Nakamura, it was great to have you on.” The host held out his hand. Danny shook it.
“Thanks for having me.” The lights dimmed and the cameras cut. Danny looked over to where Greg was waiting in the wings. “Greg?”
“I’m coming!” Greg said. He came onstage and picked Danny up. “Let’s get you changed.”
“Actually, Greg, we need you to wait for your cue,” the director said. “You’re up next for being interviewed.”
“Right,” Greg said slowly. Danny sighed.
“Just hand me off to whoever’s willing to change me. I don’t have any shame at this point.”
“I know, but I still wanted to make sure you were perfectly comfortable with it,” Greg said as he handed Danny over to a stagehand. “You’re the boss.”
“Not really,” Danny mumbled.
“Legally, I’m the boss,” Greg conceded. “But in reality, what you say goes.”
“If you say so…”
The toddler company was run differently from the store. Namely, Danny was now legally a three-year-old, with all the lack of rights that came with it. Thankfully, Danny’s roommate Greg had offered to be Danny’s legal guardian, to sign paperwork and cash checks for him. Danny hadn’t been thrilled Greg had changed Danny’s last name to match his. If they were the same race, he would be slightly less bothered, but Danny was white, so having a Japanese last name like his Japanese-American legal guardian felt odd to him.
Of all the changes to his life, however, Danny’s last name was the least. Being a toddler on tour was tough. He needed regular naps and an early bedtime, and many of the things he needed to go to were late at night or took the whole day. And he didn’t want to be on stage, he wanted to be sitting on the couch watching TV while he sucked on his favorite pacifier.
Worst, though, was the loss of his potty training. After multiple accidents in his training pants when they started traveling, Greg had put Danny into diapers for safety. The toddler company loved how Danny looked with a visible diaper bulge or, even better in their opinion, just wearing a shirt and nothing over the diaper. So Danny was then told to wear diapers during his public appearances.
During one public event, Danny wet himself by accident when he got startled by something, which the company loved even more. His next instruction was to use his diaper during the majority of his public appearances. Of course, once he’d gotten into the habit of using his diaper, it was difficult to break, even when he wasn’t in public. Now, Danny used his diaper instead of a toilet every single time. Even if he knew he needed to go, he still used his diaper out of habit. He could force himself to use the diaper on purpose for a performance, like he just had for the show, but that was the only control he had left.
The stagehand brought Danny into a bathroom and changed him into a fresh diaper. Thankfully, the stagehand didn’t try to make any small talk with Danny. Once in a clean diaper, the stagehand brought Danny to stand in the wings, watching Greg’s interview with the host. Danny toddled over to his diaper bag sitting on the ground nearby and pulled out his favorite pacifier. He popped it into his mouth to suckled onto, then sat.
Most of Greg’s interview was standard fare for this kind of show, but near the end, Greg mentioned something the toddler company wanted Danny to start doing. In shock, Danny’s jaw dropped and his pacifier fell out.
The company was now going to have Danny…