“Oh, Marc! Hey! Hey! Hey!” Colin awkwardly smiled.
Marc just stood there for a few minutes.
“Whatever happened to that Jessie chick?” Marc asked.
“Jessie? Oh Jessie! I went to the hospital, she’s A-OK! We’re just…. TAKING A BREAK!!!!” Colin smiled sweatily.
Marc stood there with a narrowed gaze as gallons of sweat rolled down his coworker’s face.
“Alright, enjoy yourselves.” Marc smirked as he walked away.
Colin let out a huge sigh of relief; he wrapped his arm over Lucy’s shoulder as they went to the concession stand.
************************************************
“They ruined it! They ruined it!” Lucy yelled.
“It wasn’t that bad, the shadow guys looked really cool when they pulled themselves out of the wall.” Colin smiled.
“The whole thing that made them scary was they could get you without touching you!” Lucy ranted.
“And did we NEED half an hour of Claire’s family drama before they even showed up?!”
Colin unlocked his car and lifted Lucy into her seat, kissing her on the lips.
“At least I got to watch it with you.” Colin smiled.
Lucy giggled with a soft blush as Colin hopped in and started driving…
***********************************************
The front door to Colin’s apartment, the man himself carrying the brunette bridal style through the door.
“Hey girls, what’s happening?” Lucy coyly smiled.
“Hope the bed is nice and empty!!!”
Silence.
“Guys?” Lucy asked as Colin lowered her to the ground.
Colin felt uneasy; they were never this quiet.
“Okay, what’s going on? You guys are freaking me out.” Lucy said.
The pair leaned over to see a few of Colin’s other lovers all facing the wall, standing extremely still.
“Hahaha, verrrrry funny, now knock it off!” Lucy shouted.
No words.
“S-Seriously, you got me! Joke’s over!!!” Lucy nervously stammered.
Utter silence from the silhouetted women.
“No really, fuck off!” Lucy shouted as she went to grab Sam by the shoulder.
Her hand went right through her.
The shadowy Sam turned around to reveal she had no face.
Shara was the same.
Tina.
Christy.
Jamie.
Wendy.
Lisa.
All solid black masses with no face.
The figures lunged with an inhuman screech as Lucy hugged Colin in terror.
The shadow figures suddenly vanished as the lights came on.
The girls portrayed as shadow people moments ago emerged from behind the couch laughing it up.
“We got you! We got you!” Jamie taunted.
“That’s what you get for pranking us!!!” Shara added.
“Pffft, I wasn’t scared!” Lucy scoffed.
“Uh huh, sure.” Sam smirked.
“How did you even do that?” Colin asked.
“I borrowed some stuff from Uncle Gus.” Jamie smiled.
“Uncle Gus!” Colin laughed “Good ol’ Uncle Gus….”
“You never met my uncle, baby.” Jamie smiled.
Colin just stood there awkwardly.
“Wait a minute … Jamie Benson… Uncle Gus… Your Uncle is GUS BENSON?!” Lucy asked.
“Yeah, you JUST watched the movie he used that projection in!” Wendy smirked.
“Wait, when Loni followed that shadow chick into the old ranger station…” Lucy said.
“That was me!” Shara smiled.
“Wait, so you actually took your top off for that scene?!” Lucy shouted.
“I thought those shadow girls looked familiar…” Colin said.
“Relax, Gus didn’t peek at my chest!” Shara yelled.
“I saved that for Colin.”
Shara pulled up a selfie of her bare breasts hanging out with the caption “A little behind the scenes just for you, babe!” with the winking emoji.
“And send!” Shara said as she hit enter.
Colin’s phone didn’t ding or light up.
“Did you forget to charge your phone again?” Sam asked.
“It’s at seventy percent…” Colin said.
Shara proceeded to scream louder than when Lucy thought she was being attacked by shadow monsters.
“What was that for?!” Wendy asked.
Shara let out a pterodactyl screech as she held her phone up.
In the name slot above her topless pic?
One word.
MOM.
“Holy shit!” Wendy said as she chuckled into her hands.
“Delete! Delete!” Shara frantically said as her fingers fumbled.
“Wait wait wait, that’s not delete, that’s FaceTime!” Sam shouted.
Too late, the camera opened as a tanned blonde popped up on screen.
“Uhhhh… hiiiii mooooom!” Shara smiled with a nervous chuckle.
“Who is it?” her mother asked.
“Who’s… who?” Shara sweated.
“You know… ‘babe’.” Shara’s mother replied with a furled brow.
“And who are they?”
“Some new friends of mine…” Shara chuckled.
“I can explain!” Jamie interjected, “It’s like, not what you think Mrs Shara’s Mom!”
“I think I can help you understand,” Sam said, “Mrs…”
“Iris.” The tan blonde said.
“Iris… you ever watch Valley of the Shadows?” Sam asked.
“No I haven’t.” Iris said, “Please… enlighten me.”
It took Shara explaining what found footage horror was, a plot rundown of Valley of the Shadows 2, and a demonstration of Gus’ projector to calm her mother down.
“Alright… so who was gonna get that topless photo of my daughter?” Iris asked.
“Oh my god, Mom, I’m 23!” Shara blushed.
“It was me, Ma’am.” Colin said as he awkwardly walked into frame.
“Colin, C-Colin Greys…”
Iris squinted at him.
“I didn’t ask for that pic! I didn’t even know she was gonna be in that movie!” Colin said absolutely flustered, thinking about how this was the WORST way to meet your girlfriend’s mother.
Iris stared at his face for a moment or two, and sighed.
“Alright, I’ll let this slide.”
Suddenly a drunk Alya and Lisa burst through the front door.
“Heyyyy baaaabe!!!” The toasted twosome said as they walked right up to Colin and jammed their tongues in his mouth.
Iris just sat there slack jawed.
“Kill me nooooooow….” Shara groaned as she facepalmed.