You stepped out of the so-called "Magic Shop" with a small brown bag, containing your haul. Normally you wouldn't go to such a place, but it was a Sunday and the rest of the stores in your strip mall were closed. Besides, although most of the stuff in the store looked like Halloween decorations, they had one or two interesting things. Like what you'd managed to find. It was a video game controller, with the usual d-pad and four button setup. It looked to be third-party, but was in good shape and way cheaper than your Xbox controller, which had recently stopped working. So, you paid the 15 bucks for it and walked back to your car.
After a short drive, you stepped out in the parking lot of the dorms at your local university. Currently, you were working on a Bachelor's, and lived with a few roommates. Walking up the stairs and into your dorm, you see that they aren't home. You each have your own rooms with a communal living room, and since you have the place to yourself, you decide to make use of it. Dragging your PC out of your room, you hook it up to the TV, and turn on the latest shooter you downloaded.
"Now to see if it'll connect," you mumble, pulling out the remote and pressing the unmarked center button. Immediately, you feel like something is wrong. The graphic of the game's title screen has stopped moving entirely. Also, you can't hear the background noise of cars, birds, etc. You try to stand up, but find that your feet are rooted to the spot. Panic starts to set in, before you see something appear in front of you.
It's a blue square, which looks like a dialogue box from an RPG. Text rapidly fills it, reading "WELCOME NEW USER! YOU ARE NOW IN DIRECT CONTROL (tm) OF YOUR LIFE! NO LONGER BOUND TO RANDOM CHANCE, YOU CAN NOW PLAY THROUGH LIFE LIKE A GAME!"
You gulp. Were you finally going crazy?
The text box clears, before filling in again. "HERE'S HOW IT WORKS! YOU HAVE A SET OF STATS, WITH CORRESPONDING TRAITS. THE STATS DETERMINE YOUR OVERALL SKILL IN VARIOUS THINGS, WHILE THE TRAITS ARE MORE SPECIFIC AND GRANT YOU SPECIAL ABILITIES. YOU CAN USE XP TO IMPROVE YOUR STATS AND PICK NEW TRAITS. YOU GAIN XP BY DOING CERTAIN ACTIVITIES. SOME TRAITS CAN ONLY BE UNLOCKED BY CERTAIN ACTIVITIES. ADDITIONALLY, EVERY OTHER TIME YOU LEVEL UP, YOU'LL GET TO PICK A POWER! POWERS ARE UNIQUE ABILITIES THAT NORMAL HUMANS DON'T HAVE! BUT WE'LL GET TO THEM LATER."
A large box appeared, which filled in with a stat sheet. The text box cleared once again, then filled with "HERE ARE YOUR STATS! A TEN REPRESENTS THE AVERAGE, A 0 IS BARELY FUNCTIONAL, AND A 20 IS THE MAXIMUM A HUMAN CAN NORMALLY ACHIEVE! THE SIX STATS ARE AS FOLLOWS:
STRENGTH-COVERS PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES WHICH INVOLVE PUSHING, CARRYING, OR RELY ON RAW MUSCLE.
DEXTERITY-COORDINATION, PARKOUR, DANCING, AND MANY MORE!
CONSTITUTION-OVERALL PHYSICAL HEALTH AND HOW WELL YOU CAN HANDLE DRUGS/ALCOHOL
INTELLIGENCE-KNOWLEDGE OF ACADEMIC SUBJECTS
WISDOM-AWARENESS OF ONE'S SURROUNDINGS, COMMON SENSE
CHARISMA-COMPETENCE IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS, CONFIDENCE\
You looked over your stat sheet, seeing the following:
Strength-11
Dexterity-12
Constitution-10
Intelligence-12
Wisdom-9
Charisma-10
This whole thing was completely weirding you out. If it was real though, the stats kind of made sense. You had done track and field in high school, and had kept up some of your training since then. That'd explain the strength and dexterity bonus. Since you were in college, an above-average intelligence made sense. As for the Wisdom...yeah, you could be a bit clumsy some times.
Below the stats was a box labeled "Traits." The text box read "SELECT 'TRAITS' TO VIEW YOUR CURRENT TRAITS!"
You did so, and saw just two. They read "Adult Privilege: Able to do most things without a parent or guardian." and "Average Joe: +1 Relationship bonus with people of same Societal Rank." Relationship bonus? Societal Rank? This text box didn't mention those. However, you see a "Tutorial" box floating in the air next to the traits, so you could click on that. But right now, you kind of just want to get a better idea of the remote at large.
After exiting the "Traits" box, you see another box labeled "Physical Characteristics." Clicking on this shows a 3d model of you, with the words "Age: 22, Gender: M, Height: 6', Weight: 150 lbs." The text box states "CUSTOMIZATION OF PHYSICAL STATS ONLY AVAILABLE EVERY TWO LEVELS, AND CAN BE DONE INSTEAD OF CHOOSING A POWER."
The stat sheet reappears, and the text box reads "ONCE PER 24 HOURS, YOU CAN RE-SPEC YOURSELF! YOU CURRENTLY HAVE A RE-SPEC AVAILABLE! NO ONE BUT YOU WILL RECOGNIZE THE CHANGES MADE, UNLESS IF YOU CONNECT A MUNDANE REMOTE TO THIS ONE, THEREBY ADDING A *PLAYER 2*. WHEN YOU ARE DONE, PRESS "START" TO RESTORE THE FLOW OF TIME!"
With that, the text box disappeared, leaving you staring at the stats. You really weren't sure what to make of all this. Should you call a therapist? There's no way this could be real, right? Then again, if it is, it could help you with...