“You didn’t let him in?” Meiko asked as they hurried downstairs.
“You told me to keep all visitors away,” Shannon apologized. “Some of the people with him have guns.”
Meiko opened the door to find none other than the President himself, wearing a dark suit and sunglasses, smiling with his hands crossed as he waited patiently. Four Secret Service agents crowded behind him, and standing on the lawn were three minor bureaucrats and someone Meiko recognized as the Chief of Staff. A small motorcade of three black SUVs and four police motorcycles idled on the street outside.
“Sorry to drop in on you like this,” he said with a toothy grin. “I thought I would spare you the pressure of a formal visit to the White House. May I come in? I believe we have much to discuss.”
Brenda babbled something which she hoped sounded polite, but she was overcome by the strangeness of the situation and wasn’t much use. Fortunately, Meiko kept her wits about her and invited the President and his entourage inside. It took a little while to find chairs and get everyone settled in.
“So, um, it’s a little early for door to door campaigning, isn’t it, sir?” Meiko led off with a weak joke.
The president laughed disproportionately. “That’s not why I’m here, but I think we have a yard sign in the trunk. I’d be grateful if you’d put one on your lawn.” He chuckled again. “After all, people can’t seem to get enough news about you two. And THAT is the reason why I’m here, if you haven’t guessed already.”
Brenda finally found her voice. “Are we in trouble?”
They all caught the quick glance between the President and the Chief of Staff. “We’re not here to arrest you, if that’s what you mean,” the President replied. “From what I’ve seen on the news, I’m not sure we could if we tried. But I’ll be honest with you. You’re not IN trouble, but you ARE trouble. For me, anyway. Every president is elected in the hope that they will bring a certain amount of stability. And Lord knows I’ve tried, despite disease and war and the economy…”
“Yeah, sucks to be you,” Shannon interrupted. She was quickly shushed by Tiffani.
“...but you two represent a new kind of challenge. Tens of thousands of women, and thousands of men, are flocking to join your little cult. And I don’t need to tell you that you have a lot of people really scared. Sure, many of them are the usual people who are afraid to even say the word “gay,” but many of them are good people who are just frightened of any major change in their way of life. Let’s face it, if things keep going the way they are going, there are going to be some major changes. And it’s my job to protect the system we have.”
“So…what exactly do you want from us?” Meiko asked, cutting to the chase.
“Well, first of all, I’d like to offer the protection of the federal government. You’re still American citizens, and as long as you’re abiding by our laws, I will do my best to make sure you are safe and free from harassment.”
“Um, thanks,” Brenda said. She wasn’t sure the extra security was necessary but elected not to argue. And she was sure that there was more coming.
“And I think we can have a great partnership if you play by the rules. But that means you’re going to have to rein it in. No changing people into waterfowl without their permission. And absolutely no spreading your virus to people without their consent. There have already been several reports of people undergoing your change after only casual contact with members of your cult.”
“Religion,” Meiko corrected. “And I’m not sure how much we can be held to be responsible for what infected people choose to do…”
The Chief of Staff, who had been silently frowning this whole time, finally burst out, his cheeks flushed. “Come on, now! We all know that your little virus was manufactured by you. We could easily charge you with a bioweapons attack on the US…”
“Aren’t weapons supposed to, you know, hurt people?” Shannon asked. This time, Tiffani let her go.
“We’ve had riots in eleven cities!” he shouted. “Half of the people want to join your sex cult, and the other half want to exterminate the sinners. Despite your little electricity trick, over eleven people have died so far…”
It was the President who calmed him down. “Easy there, Ron. We’re not here to make accusations, and I’m sure these young women detest the violence as much as we do. But, ladies, I do have a request to make. Use your position and influence to rein in your group’s more excessive behavior. Things are happening fast, and I can guarantee an easier road for your followers if they take a step back and took things more slowly.”
Brenda and Meiko shared a knowing glance. “We’re not exactly pressed for time,” Brenda said. “And we do want some credit for the good we’re doing. Talk to hospice care workers or ER nurses. Lot’s of people are alive now whose days would have been numbered. As long as we can reach out to those who want to join, I don’t see us having a problem.”
“Hey, you’re pretty old,” Shannon said bluntly. This actually drew a snicker from Tiffani. “Have you thought about joining Team Lesbian Orgy?”
The President laughed. “I must confess that I’ve been more than a little tempted. When you’re my age, and all of your joints hurt before you even get out of bed, the idea of eternal youth sounds more than a little appealing. But it’s pretty clear that I can’t, not while I hold this office. The opposition already claims that I’m being weak on your movement. Can you imagine if I became one of you? There’ would be civil war. So I’ll give my polite, ‘no thank you,’ at least until I’m out of office. Someday…maybe someday…” He sounded wistful.
Tiffani finally spoke, leaning in and saying in a low voice “Have you heard that the wife of the Former Guy joined us? He’s beyond pissed that his trophy wife is beyond sexy now and he can’t lay a finger on her or openly acknowledge it to the public.”
The President grinned and leaned in conspiratorially. “We have a pool in the White House as to when the Former Guy is going to swallow his pride and join your group. He’s not exactly the bravest guy in the face of death. And rumor has it that at least three of the most evangelical Republican congressmen have 'accidentally' gotten infected…”
“Sir,” the Chief of Staff corrected.
“Right. Right,” the President agreed. “So I hope we have an understanding. The Chief will give you our number in case you would like a White House visit. Do you have any questions for me?”
“Just one,” Brenda said. “How about a kiss before you go?”