Entity #: 3695
Codename: Pizza Plumbing
Known Abilities: E-3695 is an anomalous ordering service, the business 'Pizza Plumbing'. It periodically adapts delivery methods, typically dodging G.E.T. communication suppressions in adaptation cycles as new communications technology iterates. The business reveals itself primarily when targeting individuals with particular potential for transformative assimilation (clients), but may issue general advertisements.
The primary service E-3695 offers is transformative foodstuffs. Approximately half of the recorded catalog appears to be transformation-inducing variants of other pizza-centered restaurant menus, with the remaining half being supporting products and baked goods. It additionally provides resources, equipment, and advice on the production of transformative foodstuffs and related logistical concerns, modeled after a plumbing service. Scenario-coercive foodstuffs are also provided, but mostly are used as ingredients to negate concerns over effects of transformations or alter surrounding reality. Regenerating foodstuffs functioning as companions have recently been reported, typically as a means of supplying specific transformations repeatedly or as vorarephilia sexual assistants. Deliveries are performed by teleporting agents or packages near a client, followed by the agent undertaking reformative action or the client consuming the contents of the package.
The apparent goal of most E-3695 communications is hiring or reintegrating transformed clients to spread E-3695 products further. Offering a drastic transformation the client is uninterested in reversing afterward is common, followed by the client leaving the mundane world or positioning themselves as a front business. The average end result of prolonged E-3695 purchases, referred to as 'mode collapse', is a sexually hyperactive male of moderate body fat with varying kinks and bodily details. Increases to digestive capacity and sensation-enjoyment coupled with loss of refractory period and decreased social inhibition are near-universal. Bodies that were highly dissimilar initially tend to many accumulated aesthetic changes and regular alteration. Those who are already similar tend to amplify sexual traits and be otherwise recognizable. Transformed bodies may undergo drastic temporary changes during specific excursions or experimentation even after mode collapse. However, these are usually for fetishistic reasons or contrived scenarios and not meant to be long-term. A 'default mindset' involving significant feeding and regular masturbation or sex is typical but is similarly varied by transformations.
Mode collapsed or hired/integrated E-3695 clients and agents periodically gather in events referred to as 'boar parties'. These appear to be congruent with supernatural holidays not popular in the secular world (according to recovered communications, as "more popular holidays come with obligations and preexisting spiritual attention"). Esoteric unclear-period commemorations even by thaumaturgical standards are also reported, such as numerologically-unclear fractional anniversaries of local legend reports. Barring few exceptions, these occur in supernatural locations, fully owned retreat-style vacation lodges or isolated unmonitored campgrounds (to ensure that no outside owner objects to the use), or the homes of an integrated agent deemed senior, financially successful, or spiritually advanced. While technically open to any nonhostile, the relative inconvenience of access means that most arrivals are clientele invited in advance. Boar parties consist of excessive volumes of eating and sexual activity even by mode collapsed standards, producing and consuming house-sized courses for debauchery spanning most of the event-adjacency days. Bacchanal drinking is common but not mandatory. These events are coupled with exploratory transformations related to temporary fusion.
During the event day proper, a merged body forms from those considered significant or high-performing. This traditionally (if varied in practice) consists of at least the host, a contest winner of the leadup (usually eating or sexual), those who recently underwent life milestones or other celebration-worthy events such as most sales, and if appropriate a spiritual entity tied to the event itself. Merged bodies are normally slightly over the combined mass of the participants and an aesthetic combination of those involved, with supernatural levels of flexibility, strength, and compressibility. However, merged bodies vary significantly in volume and additional body parts based on the constituents (normally limbs and sexual organs, with head duplication being considered a sign of differing worldviews or a dynamic that requires multiple persons to express).
These party leader merged bodies are considered shamanistic embodiments of a will related to but distinct from the business spirit of Pizza Plumbing's collective business establishments. Summoning or evoking said spirits through iconography-manifestation avatars to service it along with any foodstuff-generating companions of the constituents is typical. The merged body typically lasts the remaining span of the boar party before separating back into constituents during concluding celebrations, before clean-up and individual exits. Those in close relationships or established teams can maintain the merged body or form it outside the boar party context. However, sustaining it for more than a few days is atypical and considered impractical outside a fetish thing or polycule-effectively-person plurality cases that are meaningfully distinct from the zeitgeist as persons.
It is believed that a sufficiently auspicious fusion will synchronize and fully incarnate permanently the vague concept behind the 'will of the guys' or Pizza Plumbing specific zeitgeist. This is considered impractical to summon more than briefly or without significant additional syncretic concepts, as the zeitgeist is personally somewhat amorphous and colored by collective will of summoners to be considered accurate. Mode collapse is believed to be a useful transitional state and representative of aspects of the zeitgeist's ideal body, though there is disagreement on less-average aspects and belief several aspects must be changeable-at-will to the point of indefiniteness. The 'will of the guys' is considered vaguely messianic and potentially able to change the world, but requiring conditions related to sufficiently many constituents in order to do so. Merged bodies regularly claim or reassert spiritual dominion over the supernatural place of partying and possibly a surrounding mundane settlement. They are rarely capable of making large-scale changes beyond that, except to modify history and present around party participants. This has been recorded being used to suppress suspicion of their activities, edit in complex magical assets, and convert regular interactions to non-suspicious despite blatant transformation spread. An advertising campaign tied to a local festival with transformative products under normalcy-modification is typical, resulting in the supernatural conquest and isolation of a number of villages and small towns throughout recent history.
Many products approach variations of this end template with higher use or return to it as an adjusted baseline. Most exceptions are specific to weight loss, female presentation, or stereotypes that do not support the average frame, and these are mostly used to exit mode collapse shape. Confirmed E-3695 brands include pizzas for drastic weight loss, immediate weight gain, musculature refinement, assorted stereotype conformance (typically fetishistic), genital adjustment, hair alteration, modified sexual attributes, delayed temporary transformations used as pranks or aphrodisiacs, and a number of aesthetic customizations.
Containment: E-3695 delivery methods are to be continuously monitored by shadow government mass surveillance protocol and forwarded to G.E.T. containment staff for updating. Current stance is toward censorship of new clients, as prevention of assimilation is normally non-feasible after initial staffing. Foodstuffs, equipment, clients, and foodstuff-companions are covered under anti-disruption operations. They may be ignored in dedicated magic communities using standard anti-disruption or better. Delivery interception is not feasible due to the use of teleportation-type package agents. E-3695 boar parties typically operate in non-mundane locations: G.E.T. front businesses reserving invitation-only conferences in mundane boar party candidate locations during abnormal holidays is currently deemed sufficient to prevent spread. Zeitgeist incarnation of the 'will of the guys' is impractical enough that mitigation of boar party opportunities covers long-term containment.
Other: A list of unmitigated supernaturally conquered territories and territory-claimed towns is available on request from the mass surveillance system.