Chad was unceremoniously thrust into his captor's windbreaker pocket. A few minutes of movement later, he stared up from a huge black stone plain with chrome posts dotting it to a cavernous ceiling at least 100 feet above him. It wasn't really 100 feet, but that he'd been shrunk to pocket size.
"Now let me setup the camera to capture every delicious moment of your transformation from beefcake to cream puff," the villain said.
Chad was wracking his brain. Who was his tormentor? What had he done to deserve this? He squeaked the questions from inside his plastic prison. The villain leaned over him, and for the first time, Chad saw his huge billboard size face.
With a marking pen he wrote directly on the wrapper, after switching on Record. He wrote, "Hall Vending Machine Twinkee".
"Say goodbye, Stud, and hello, Twinkee!"
Chad shuddered. His limbs seemed rubbery, and melted into his body. His stomach rumbled and swelled. He saw the lettering on his wtapper change to professional printing, and the package reshaped and heat sealed each end. He could see his reflection in the camera display. He was now a yellow creme filled cake. He really was a Twinkee. He wanted to scream. Was he really going to be eaten alive? He still had no idea why?