A bit later, when the group was gathering Christmas decor and outside of Dan's earshot, Sarah had an idea. She suggested "Hey Kat, to make sure things don't get out of control with my buck again, do you think it would be worth simply casting a spell to let Dan communicate with everyone?"
"Are you suggesting to allow him to speak, like verbally out loud?" Kat inquired? "Yes, exactly," said Sarah, "that way we always know how he's doing."
"Well," said Kat, "first of all, Dan won't be doing anything physical... My spell to remove physical pain for him also insures that..." "But don't you think it would be kinda fun to let him speak?" Sarah asked again.
"You know," said Kat, "He has nothing to say that you're gonna like..... BUT, if you really want him to speak, there is one thing we can do to to have some fun with that." "What's that?" Sarah asked excitedly.
"Two spells," Kat replied. "One to let him speak.... and the other will be an opposite spell. The opposite spell will force him to always speak the opposite of what he's thinking. What's hilarious is that he won't even know. I mean, he'll know he's speaking out loud, he just won't know that he's saying the opposite of what he thinks he is. Just for a simple example, if he thinks he is calling me an ugly whore, we might hear him call me a beautiful princess. Mental torture for him, but funny and entertaining for us! What do you think?"
"Yes! Do it! Please!" Sarah begged Kat, and she went ahead and cast the two spells.
Sarah, Steve and Jack followed Kat back into the dining room to see what happened. Everyone stared at Dan for a moment. Kat spoke up and said "Ok, just so you all know, Dan is not exactly pleased with his predicament. So whenever he speaks, he'll speak his mind angrily, which means we'll hear only nice cheerful comments due to the opposite spell. "That's exactly what we want, right" Sarah inquired. "Well yes," Kat answered, "but it'll get super annoying if it never stops. So as part of my spell on him, I also made it so that he can only speak when spoken to.
"Kat, you are some kind of wicked genius. You are amazing," Steve said. Jack chimed in with "Oh man is this gonna be fun! I'm gonna put a small plaque under the mounted head that says 'Danny the Talking Deer,' so our guests will just think it's an AI-driven toy we added to the mounted head. "Also genius," said Sarah.
Kat grabbed a few pieces of jerky, pulled one of the dining chairs out, turned it to face Dan and sat down. She started to lift herself up, then plopped down harder onto her Suede deerskin cushion. She looked at Dan as she twisted and wiggled a bit, getting comfortable and sinking into her seat. Then she took a bite of jerky and chewed slowly, savoring the flavor, smiling while she displayed her lip-smacking enjoyment. She took another bite and said, with her mouth full, "How's it going, Dan?" She bounced cheerfully on her cushion.
Dan cheerfully replied, for all to hear, "Kat, It's so nice to see you! I see you're enjoying a tasty treat there, and I'm proud that I could do my part to help provide it. It's also great to see that Sarah found a good use for my hide. I just love seeing you so happy and comfortable. Relax and enjoy! By the way, I'm so glad things are going well with you and Jack, and wish nothing but the best for both of you. I love you both!"
"Thanks Dan!" Kat said, "So you're doing ok here?" "Never been better," he replied in the most sincere-sounding voice.
"Wow...." Sarah said, "My turn!" and she stepped up to Dan, "What do you think of what I said earlier, Danny boy?" Dan replied, "You're absolutely right, Sarah. I've reflected on that and decided to not only accept my place, but to embrace it. I'm so glad that I had the good fortune to cross your path on opening day, so that I could find my true purpose in helping nourish your family. I would never want to go back to my former life. I hope you're enjoying cooking with my venison, your trophy buck display here and your new seat cushions. I love watching you and your family enjoy feasting comfortably on my meat." "That's more like it," she smiled.
Steve took his turn, walked up to Dan and said "So you ready for burgers tonight, Dan?" Dan answered, again cheerfully, "Oh, absolutely, sir! I hope my burger meat cooks up deliciously for you. Can't wait to see you all enjoy mouth-watering burgers made from my very own flesh! I am sure glad you knew how to gut and butcher me! And thanks for teaching Sarah to shoot so well!" "My pleasure," Steve said as he stepped back.
Kat, Sarah and Steve looked at Jack. He thought for a second, then got up in Dan's face, and stuffed a whole strip of jerky in his mouth. As he chewed, with his mouth full, he said to Dan, "How ya like bein food, dude?" "Dan replied "Jack, it's better you than me. I'm so glad you're able to be happy there eating me, together with your family. I am so delighted to be where I am. For me, I'd much rather be eatEN than eatING. I would never want to be human, and would never ever want to trade places with you. Thanks for using me as food and fuel for your life with Kat and your family."
"Whatever you say dude," laughed Dan.
Everyone laughed hysterically as they walked away and back into the living room to decorate for Christmas, leaving Sarah's trophy buck head to itself.