"This smells like a car freshener or something. I need something that smells like spring rain. Why did she even give me this? Ugh, it's so tacky," Chad said, suddenly feeling like he should be getting a makeover. Sure, he had the body of an Olympic athlete. Sure, he had thick blond curly hair, and his muscles were fucking divine. He felt like he needed to look at himself in the mirror.
He walked across the field and saw all the hot young men doing jumping jacks. Coach Gains (what a name! what an appropriate name, look at how MUSCULAR he is!) was blowing into his whistle.
Wish he's blow more than his whistle! Chad thought gleefully. Wait, why am I saying that? Oh god, look at them all. They look marvelous. So handsome. All of them. We are a GOOD looking school is all I have to say! he thought.
His wrist started to have a life of its own, curling up the way a woman's would as he sashayed across the school and down the hallways of the main campus building.
In the bathroom, he was suddenly self-conscious. Sure, he looked hot. But he was dressed in a Nickelback T-shirt. Ugh, what was he thinking? He was suddenly nauseated. He needed a manicure, a massage, and a new wardrobe! He needed something that brought out his eyes and figure. Oh, and he needed to get plowed.
Plowed? Plowed by...a dick. A big juicy dick. Covered with veins, entering his ass, giving him the best fucking ever. He was a gay virgin! Sure, he's plowed girls but he had never even been fucked by a real man! He could never sleep with a girl again! he thought with revulsion. Then looked back at his reflection in shock.
"Holy shit, I think I'm gay," he said, his wrist curling up in front of his throat as if to hide his Adam's apple. "Oh fuck me, I think I'm gay now! That is so for realsies what I am now but whatevs. Omigod, what I am gonna do!" His hand was suddenly fanning himself and he was mock crying, as if he could dry the tears by fanning his hand back and forth, acting more like a 13 year old girl than a senior in high school that looked like he could lift a car with his bare hands.
The bathroom door opened and a younger freshman had a complete look of shock and disbelief on his face. He looked away in embarrassment, trying not to look the giant blond jock in the eye, the giant blond water polo player who had just openly declared his homosexuality in the boy's bathroom.
He was unsure as to why it had happened, but he knew that he was gay. Walking into his biology class, he noticed how handsome his teacher looked today. He got along well with Mr. McGuire but god damn. Chad looked back and forth between various classmates. How could they not be shouting for him to do a strip dance or something. Sure, he was a bit overweight, balding and in his forties, with graying hair, but he was a fucking STUD! He found it difficult to hide his growing erection. Mortified, he opened his book and put an elbow on his desk, his wrist delicately laying in mid air as if he was about to snap his fingers. He got some weird looks and giggles before remembering he didn't normally move this way.
I'll have to try to remember not to act super gay. God, this is hard. These desks are so annoying. I just want to cross my legs and do my nails! The giant blond jock thought about getting a manicure and pedicure throughout the biology lesson. Mr. McGuire's voice was so sexy that Chad was hanging on every word. Please don't call on me, I think I might actually jizz my pants if you do! he thought.
After class, one of his friends, Lucas, came up to him with a wide grin. "Dude, are you trying to do an impression of a girl. Why was your wrist like THIS all class?" the boy mimicked him.
"OH um...I was just trying to be funny. I gotta go. I'll see ya laterz! I mean...later!"
"Dude, what's with the gay voice?"
"Gay voice?" Chad replied, panic growing in his eyes.
"Dude, you better not let the girls hear you talk like that. You know they'll bitch you out for being homophobic haha. I mean, I do think it's funny, but everyone at this bitch ass school is so fucking woke, you know?"
Chad nodded. This was a nightmare! He was super gay but looked like a giant straight jock and up until now he had been!
He tried to keep it together through English and then he was finally able to go home. He had no more practice, thank God. Water polo season was over. All those wet, hot young bodies swimming around. God, he was going to explode. What was he going to do?? Jack off to HOT MEN, that's what! Jack off to the thought of sucking off a hot daddy like Mr. McGuire or Coach Gains!
His boner was pretty fierce. He had an enormous bulge across his lycra shorts that was beyond obscene. He moved his backpack to hide it, and was halfway across the parking lot to his car when he heard a voice say his name.
"Chad!" a familiar voice cried out.
It was...