Over the last few days, Ben had been trying a new technique when he went to masturberte. Though he couldn't read, the magazine's pictures had lots of images of guys being penetrated in their butt. At first he'd found those pictures strange, but now that he was getting used to them, he was getting a strange urge to be in their place. He'd finger his butt as he jerked off and it had created a need in him that he'd never known before. Like an inch deep inside his butt that he was just unable to reach. He wished he had something bigger than his slender little fingers to fuck himself with. Pretty soon jerking his penis became a secondary concern. He'd often chose to finger himself with one hand and hold the magazine with his other, leaving his little penis humping the air.
Life at the orphanage was a tough dog eat dog world. There were no friends. The closest thing were temporary alliances. A full stomach was an unheard of luxury. Chill wind whistled through the cracks in the walls at night. Beatings were used to keep up obedience. Even when the rare potential parents came to adopt an orphan, the weak like Ben were forced to remain out of sight by the stronger orphans to avoid competition. Ben had practically no hope for adoption. No pleasure in life. Nothing but these dirty and shameful visits to the alley. To the magazine, his treasure. His place of safety and solitude, where he could be himself. But that ended today.
"I told you he was a little pervert," Jenny, one of the older orphans said in a disgusted tone. Ben looked up from where he was fingering himself to see her with Tyler and the two other bullies in the orphanage.
"Ew, he has his fingers inside him!" Tyler said, laughing at the sight. Ben quickly pulled out and reached for his pants to pull them up, but Tyler stepped onto his pants, keeping him down and trapping Ben's feet to the ground where he sat.
"What's this?" Jenny said, snatching the gay porn magazine from Ben's hand. "Wow! Look at this guys. He's a total fag!"
"No, I'm not!" Ben tried to deny, though his dick was still hard for being so close to cumming. "I just found that a moment ago, and I..." he tried to lie, but he stopped, when Tyler took another step forward, treading onto Ben's balls.
"Don't lie. Tell us the truth."
"Ow! Ow! Stop! It hurts!"
"Tell us you're a fag," Tyler demanded, putting more pressure forward.
"Okay! Okay! I'm a fag!" Tyler kept the pressure up a bit more, making the orphan start to sob and confess louder and louder. "I'm a fag! I'm a fag! I like men and want dicks up my butt!" Tyler finally stepped off him and let the thoroughly shamed Ben pull up his pants, while they all laughed at him and called him names.
Tearing sounds caught Ben's ears and he looked up through his tears to see Jenny tearing apart his precious magazine. For a boy with no money, that magazine was irreplaceable. It was his only link to his newly discovered sexuality. It's destruction was the final straw to break him. Ben broke down in sobs as they all laughed at him.
"Hey!" an angry voice yelled from the street. The laughing teens quickly disperses before the owner of the voice could come running down the alley and cause trouble. Jenny had taken the tattered magazine with her, probably to throw it away in the river or a random trash-can. All that was left were a few shreds she'd torn from it and trampled into the dirt.
"Oh my god, are you okay!?" the concerned voice asked. It was the voice of a young man, maybe an older teen. Ben's eyes were too teary to see anything, and he was too busy scrambling for the scraps of magazine he could save, as well as try to hide from the stranger. A warm hand was placed onto Ben's small back. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm okay..." Ben tried to say, but his sobbing was rendering him almost unable to speak. The teen helped him sit up and sat down on the ground with his back to the crates next to Ben. The stranger was of Asian descent, and looked to be around 16. His face was smooth and his hair was well kempt and dark with obvious product in it. He looked like he could have been in a boyband. And his clothes looked new and clean in stark contrast to Ben's torn and filthy oversized rags. Ben felt shamed by this boy's beauty. Ben's hair had never seen shampoo and was rarely ever washed. His light brown ragged mop was long enough to let him hide much of his own face, which he used to full effect now.
"Here, the wind was about to take this one away," the teen said, handing Ben a tattered magazine piece showing part of a young man tied up with rope. Ben snatched it away in shame and embarrassment. Was this guy going to beat him up too. Had he seen the picture?
"I'm Akito," the pretty teen said in a friendly tone. He must not have noticed what was on the magazine scrap. Ben sighed in relief, letting his shoulders sink slightly.
"I'm Ben," Ben said in a quiet voice, still a little unsure what this guy wanted from him.
"Who were those jerks anyway?" Akito asked.
"The older kids from the orphanage," Ben explained.
"Awe. Are you from there too?" Ben nodded. "Shucks man. I'm sorry. Were they bullying you for being gay?" The question sent a jult of panic down Ben's spine.
"I'm not! I like girls, I'm not a fag!" Akito placed a hand on Ben's shoulder to calm him.
"Hey, hey. It's okay. Relax. No one's going to hurt you while I'm here." Ben took a deep breath and wiped a tear from his eye. "That's a shame though," Akito continued. "And here I thought you were pretty cute." Ben's eyes went wide. Akito's soft fingers moved up and stroked Ben's dirty cheek, brushing rough locks aside to better see Ben's face. "I think you'd make a guy quite happy."
Ben didn't know how to process this situation. Being gay was something to be ashamed about. Yet this dreamy teen was acting as if it was something to be proud about. Ben's heart ached with an unexpected longing and tears welled up unexpected, and he began to sob with unfamiliar emotions and confusion.
"There there, it's okay," Akito said, pulling the crying boy to his chest and stroking his dirty hair lovingly. "There's no shame in being you. Those bullies don't know what they're talking about." Ben knew his unwashed body was making this angel's fine clothes dirty, but he couldn't help but cling to him like a life-raft to his drowning soul.
"How... how can it be okay. I'm a bad person. I'm wicked for liking guys..." Ben sobbed, trying to understand how Akito could accept him so easily.
"There's nothing wrong with liking guys. Love is a beautiful thing."
"But boys can't be with boys. It's wrong..." Ben tried to explain. It was just one of the facts of life he'd been raised to believe. Everyone knew it.
"Is it? Does this feel wrong?" Akito asked, tilting Ben's head up to meet his gaze. Ben had not expected what came next. Akito's soft lips met Ben's dry ones in a gentle, but long kiss. Ben melted in the older boy's arms. His soul lit up like the sun and every cloud in his mind was swept away along with any thoughts of shame or feelings or guilt. He just sat, existing in the warmest moment of his entire life. This was possibly the first time in his entire life that the young orphan had ever felt loved. The kiss laster for but a moment, and it lasted for a life time. When their lips parted, Ben was a different person than before. More whole. More alive.
"See... That wasn't so bad, was it?" Akito said with a kind smile, looking down at Ben in his lap. "Awe, poor thing. You hardly weigh anything. You must be so hungry. Come, let's get you something to eat." Akito lifted Ben up with ease and set him down on the ground and took his hand. Now that they were both standing, their height difference became even more apparent, but instead of the usual feeling of fear or inferiority Ben would usually feel, he just felt protected.
"Don't forget your magazine pieces," Akito said. Ben only now noticed that he'd completely forgotten about his precious skaps of magazines and head let them fall to the ground. He quickly picked them up and stuffed them into his pocket.
Akito took Ben with into the city and lead him into a caffe with all kinds of forbidden pasteries and breads behind a display case. Ben had never eaten anything like that except for what stale tarts and leftovers he'd managed to scavange from the dumpsters out back. He felt completely out of place, and could tell people were steering at him. At any moment, the owner would come chasing him out. But it seemed Akito holding his hand was keeping them back for now. The Asian angel seemed completely oblivious to how wrong it was for someone as filthy and poor as Ben to set foot inside a place like this. He even let Ben chose what he wanted to eat and drink. The idea of ordering his own food was so foreign to Ben, who'd always lived with the moto of eating whatever he could get. Akito had to chose for him.
They sat in a quiet corner by themselves, eating food far too good for a stray like Ben. The horn was soft on the inside with a crispy crust baked with melted cheese on top. Inside were colorful and delicious things that Ben didn't even know the words for. And along side it was a warm cup of actual coco! Ben had heard of chocolate, but this was his first encounter with it, and he loved it. So much in fact, that Akito had to take it away from him for a couple minutes to keep Ben from continuing to burn his lips on the stuff.
Akito ate a more modest lunch with a cup of coffee, spending most of the time affectionately watching Ben wolf down the meal. A stain of dirt and tears was clear on the front of the teen's once clean shirt, but Akito hadn't mentioned it once. Once the meal was done, Akito would ask Ben questions about himself. About the orphanage and his bullies and his life. He even asked about Ben's fantasies, making the orphan blush at how personal and even some of them got. Probing even things that Ben hadn't had time to figure out yet. Like if he liked imagining being tied up like in the picture. By the end of it, Ben had sunk low into his seat and was blushing from ear to hear and trying to hide his face behind his murky locks. But he answered every question Akito had for him as truthfully as he could. He just didn't feel like he could lie to the teen.
Akito's phone chimed and he checked a message with a frown.
"I'm sorry, Ben. I can't stay any longer. My dad is heading for the car. I don't live in the city, you see, and we only come here once in a while for shopping." Ben's heart felt like it would break. How could someone so wonderful come into his life and just leave again?
"Awe, don't be sad. I just want you to remember that you're not alone. And you never have to be ashamed of who you are, even if some moron bullies try to tell you differently." Akito got up. "Before I leave, do you think I can have a picture of you to remember you by?" Ben nodded, trying to hold back his tears.
Akito held up his phone and took a few pics, but frowned. "No. That won't do. Here," Akito brushed back Ben's locks and leaned down and kissed him on the lips again. This time though, Ben felt the teen's tongue enter his mouth. Akito's hand that wasn't holding the phone rested on Ben's thigh, and his thumb caressed Ben's inner thigh. He pulled back after a few moments and smiled.
"There's the cute boy I want," he said, making Ben blush even more than he already was. Ben's whole body was squirming, and his stomach was full of butterflies. He wasn't able to keep the smile from his lips. He knew then that he was in love with Akito.
After walking him out, Akito gave Ben a final third kiss.
"Never be ashamed of yourself," Aktio said as he tried to leave, but Ben wasn't able to let go of his hand.
"Will... Will I ever see you again?"
"I don't know," Akito said. "But I hope so." Ben watched his love walk off and then get picked up by a fancy car before drying away.
Akito remained in Ben's thoughts practically every waking moment for the next two weeks. The bullying in the orphanage had never been so bad, but even at the worst of it, Ben never gave into shame again. As much as his heart ached to see Akito again, the lesson of pride and hope remained strong inside him.