He shook his head knowingly at Lex, and winked. He blew smoke up in the air and it disappeared into the stars. It was suddenly night. Lex looked at his watch.
"It's 9 o'clock! I'm supposed to be home!"
"Oh, that. No, Lex, see...it's now September. We traveled in time a few months back. No one can see us, kid. Don't worry about a thing!" He clapped Lex on the back. "See, what we're gonna do? Is visit Colt and Corbin right after you and your dad met with them at school. Oh and uh, magic is real. Blah blah blah. Don't be a wet blanket. Just go along with it, okay, pal?"
"This isn't happening."
"See that old woman right over there walking her dog? Follow me." Lex followed Buster Trader, almost hypnotized by the strangeness of this encounter. Buster walked right up to the older woman with a poodle. He screamed in her face "Hey, TOOTS! SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING BOOBS, HONEY! HONK HONK! HUBBA HUBBA!" He made lewd gestures with his hands and then shrugged, turned to Lex and drew a drag on his cigarette. "See? Nothin'. Like I said. No one can see or hear you."
"You didn't say anyone can't hear us, you just said they can't see us."
"Look, Mr. Details. Do you want to come with me or not? I just traveled through time for you, bub. Some people. Alright come on, show's about to start!"
Buster snapped his fingers and they were inside a very large, well built mansion. Colt and Corbin were there, arguing.
"See? They can't see us or hear us. We are just observers to this little domestic squabble you are about to see unfold, my dear boy. Watch and observe," Buster said, the cigarette dangling out of his mouth as he talked. Lex hated how a habit as disgusting as smoking could be so sexy, but then he turned his attention to Colt, who walked right by him without even noticing him. That was different. Usually Colt would have a disparaging comment of some kind, or would jump scare the anxious Lex and laugh at him. Colt was an utter jerk.
"Get off my BACK, already! I said I was sorry for kicking the fag, okay?"
Corbin sighed. He was wearing the same tailored suit he had worn months ago when Lex met him. Though the man barely glanced at him the entire time. Corbin was a steely eyed, tall, athletic man with blond hair turning gray. He was a total stud. He had everything going for him. He was a millionaire. His son was in line for a football scholarship. His wife was a former model. Gillian was walking around in a beige business suit with her assistant behind her.
"Carla, please tell Amanda that I'll need all of Ms. Smith's signatures on those contracts pronto, and tell Adam that I need the dry cleaning all done by Friday." Gillian made sure her assistant had that before turning her attention to her son. "That language is not to be used in this house. Do you understand me, Colt? It's uncouth." She patted her lovely hair. "Now, what did the principal say today?"
"He has detention for a week and he's very, VERY lucky that I was able to smooth things over. Do you realize how serious an ASSAULT CHARGE COULD BE?"
"Dear. Please. Volume. You know I have brittle ears," his wife Gillian inserted. "He's right, though. I'm very disappointed in you. I'm not going to be one of those mothers with a bank account that gets drained by my brat son racking up felony charges." She turned to her assistant. "Carla, could you go wait for me in the study? Thank you." The assistant left, thankful to be out of earshot. "Now if you got some hot little cheerleader pregnant who could become a good trophy wife for all of our photo ops, I might at least get a grandchild to show for your antics."
"Why is it you want me to start a family so young? I'm only 17!" Colt shot back. "Shouldn't I be allowed to just have a little fun my senior year?"
"I want you married by your senior year of college, as I've stated many times. It will solidify you as a good Christian family man and you'll blend in well at all the functions. Everyone watches us. It will reduce the risk of scandal and it will leave you with more time to concentrate on your career. I'd rather you be a young father than a young JAILBIRD."
"You need to get your act together, son!" Corbin was fuming.
Buster leaned in to fill Lex in. "They're planning for him to enter the family business, being some hot shot upper level manager right out of college."
"Why am I NOT surprised?" Lex said prissily folding his arms.
"Do you have ANY idea how lucky we were today? That nice little man could have gone to the police and pressed charges and then I'd have to deal with the public scrutiny, and the press could have gotten wind that my son was assaulting some little boy at school who looks like he couldn't push a broom without wheezing?"
"Hey!"
"They can't hear you," Buster reminded Lex.
"Did you agree to any payment?"
"I said I'd cover any medical bills and that satisfied him. I had to really smooth over your fuck ups, and I'm getting to the point where I wish that I didn't have to. That little boy and his father are alone. Did you know his mother ran off years back and got herself killed?"
Colt avoided his stare.
"Honestly?" Gillian asked. "Maybe we should have them over for dinner."
"Please, Mom, just stop!"
"Don't talk to your mother like that. Though it would probably be best to let sleeping dogs lie. Hopefully this all smooths over soon. God, I hope this doesn't get out. The last thing I need is a PR nightmare. I'm having a Congressman visit one of the plants next week!"
"All you care about is your stupid...job!"
"YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! I knew we should have kept you in boarding school. But you wanted public school so you could socialize with girls. Remember what I told you? I said no fucking around!"
Lex started to perk up. This was actually getting good!
"I'm sorry," Colt mumbled.
"Well, sorry isn't good enough. We paid good donation money to ensure you to get into an Ivy League school next year and we aren't going to waste it." Gillian told him. "Why did you do it? Why beat up a little boy like that?"
"I'm almost 18. This is humiliating," Lex mumbled.
"I dunno. I just get really angry if someone mouths off to me!"
"Yeah, well that's life. You can't beat up every fag that looks at you the wrong way."
"I don't like that word," Gillian warned. "You know I don't."
Corbin looked weary. "Look. That kid has got it rough. I have enough problems to deal with. Stop fucking around with kids like that. That kid will be lucky if he gets to be a janitor some day. And as for you? You're gonna go to detention and football practice and come right home. I'm cutting your allowance off for a month."
"Dad, come on!"
"Oh, you don't like that? Come to work and see how much I do and then complain. I'll arrange that for Saturday. I'll have you shadow me. Wear a suit. It's time you spent more of your hours preparing for all the men who you're going to be working with in a few years."
"I'm not sure whether or not I should be disgusted or not," Les said dryly. "I'm going to just go with disgusted. This place is a fucking palace! Look at that stairway! It's huge!"
Buster lit another cigarette no one but Lex could smell. The drama continued.
"I just want to say if you got to know that boy, maybe you would think twice about making his life so difficult. You're lucky you're not in jail."
"Doctors said the injuries weren't severe, just some minor bruises," Corbin said.
"See? I didn't even kick him that hard! He was just faking being way more hurt than he was." Colt tried to convince his parents. "I barely touched him."
"Lying sack of heteronormative shit," Lex deathglared his bully, who was now trying to look pathetic. Why did he have to have such a gorgeous face?? All American douche jock with strawberry blond hair, perfectly parted, looking like a model. Life was so unfair, Lex thought.
"You can go to your room now," Gillian told her son. Colt silently went up to his room along the enormously wide stairs.
"I really think I should have spanked him more as a child," Corbin muttered.
"You spanked him plenty. Maybe that's why he's acting out so much. His psychologist said-"
"I don't give a shit what his shrink says! I'm tired of these excuses! Our family is worth 50 million dollars. That should be enough to make anyone happy! I don't want to hear his whining. Yeah, I spanked him."
"You also sent him to that damn camp where they starved him."
"He burned down the lake house! On purpose! What was I supposed to do!"
"Rehabilitate him!"
"That kid needed a beating. Or THREE. I'm glad they left him out in the desert for a few nights. It showed him a little humility!"
"This just got WAY more interesting! Holy shit!" Lex commented, watching Corbin and Gillian fight. For the first time, Lex had a huge smile plastered on his face.
Gillian and Corbin fought more until Gillian excused herself. Corbin went to his personal office.
"Let's go follow the dad, shall we?" Buster snapped his fingers. It was now daylight. "This is a few weeks later."
"Yes, I know it's not actually going to a Somali refugee camp. That's how tax dodges work!" Corbin slammed some folders at his underling. "Just do as I tell you to do and we'll save 100K that we can reinvest and we get to put up some bullshit about helping starving Africans on our website."
"Okay, I...was starting to like him and now it's gone," Lex said.
Buster snapped his fingers. They were now watching Gillian as she was being tossed on a large outside divan by a very burly pool cleaner, whose profession Lex could deduce from his uniform and pool cleaning equipment.
"Oh, Manuel! Take me, Manuel!"
"Seriously, these people are a fucking cliché."
"Perhaps, but they fit the bill for what I'm planning. You get the idea."
"Oh, Manuel! You're so...big!" Gillian and Manuel both smiled. Buster snapped his fingers. They were back in the park at the moment they left. The park was cold and gray again, night was falling.
"Okay, I'm gonna throw up now. That was fun." Lex began to walk away.
"Hold it, pal. Don't you wanna know what my offer is?"
"Oh yeah. What was the point of that again? I mean, it was entertaining but also nauseating."
Buster snapped his fingers again. They were now in a room in Colt's parents' mansion. It was night.
"Don't worry. Nobody here but us. Take a seat, kid. Now, then. I have a proposition for you. You made some wishes. You wished for your life to be different. You wished your Dad wasn't such a wimp..."
"How do you know all this??"
"Magic."
"Oh. Riiiight."
"It's my job. So. What would you like, huh? What would you like to wish for? If you could have the life you wanted?"
"You mean like this mansion? Sure, I'll wish for that."
"Anything else?"
"I wish Colt could know what it was like to be a gay nerd."
"And?"
"And that my dad had a better job and didn't get treated like a servant all the time. Like, he should have Colt's dad's job. Running a company. And we should live here. And I should go to an Ivy League school."
"Here's where the deal becomes interesting. I can give you all those things. But for every wish you make...I have to rearrange things." Buster Trader leaned in. "You get their life. They get yours. If they get something of theirs, you have to take their aspects."
"Wait...so...how does that work. Mr. Trader. Oh, your name makes sense now!"
"No offense, kid, but you sound really gay. I can take care of that for you, though. No problem!"
"What do you get out of this?"
"Let's just say I have a quota for MY job. This helps me to help you. But this is the way it works. I'll grant your list of wishes and then come back later to see how you're doing. Easy as pie." Buster said, his fresh cigarette dangling again.
"You smoke a lot," Lex noticed.
"I'm immortal. What do I care? Besides, smoking is cool and you know it."
"I..do. I wish I didn't."
"Okay. So. Your wish list. Number one, for Colt to be a little fag. No offense. Number two, for your dad to have the mansion and his own company, and an Ivy League school for you."
"So...wait, if I wish for Colt to be a little gay twink, does that mean...?"
"It means you'll pretty much be the opposite."
"You mean STRAIGHT?"
"Weeeeell. Technically, that Colt kid is bi."
Lex's face fell and his jaw dropped. "I knew it. I knew it!"
"So that means you'll be bisexual and he'll be gay. Also...you'll be a jock. You'll have to go to football. Don't worry, I'll fill your head with all the right info so you don't get lost. You'll tackle the hell out of other guys. You'll be a force to be reckoned with. And as for Colt and his family, well...I'll have to rearrange for them to have a more lower middle class existence. Corbin will work at the recycling plant office getting yelled at by all the alpha males that work there. Gillian will do nails or something. And uh...there's the issue of your dad being a wimp."
"Right. Yeah. I wish for my dad to not be a wimp anymore."
"He'll be a man among men. A titan. No one will mess with him. The new and improved Thomas will be...a vastly different man. The opposite of meek."
"Great. You're not like, the devil or anything, right? I'm just checking."
"No, I'm just your average social worker genie with a penchant for male transformation. Whaddya say, bub?"
"Yeah." Lex shrugged.
"Your wish is my command, Lex," Buster said, and snapped his fingers.