“Stop! Thieves!” A beaver shopkeeper scrambled out from her shop. “Stop them!”
Jeff, Greg, and Charlie ran down the cobblestone streets. They evaded a few of the more bold anthros who tried to nab them and took shortcuts down back allies. Finally they came to a stop, panting.
“I thought you said it would be easy, Charlie?!” Jeff demanded, puffing and wheezing.
“It was supposed to be!” Charlie protested. “It’s like every shitty shop in the city has guards and magical wards!”
“GM fucking us, then?” Greg rolled his eyes. “Railroading!”
“Not really.” Jeff rolled his eyes. “The problem is, the only shops with viable outfits for adventurers are warded against adventurers with sticky fingers. Did you at least get the goods?”
“I tried, but it wouldn’t let them pass out of the door without us paying for them.” Charlie shook his head. “Sorry guys.”
“And now...” Greg cocked his head. “The city watch is after us. I can hear them way back there.”
“Shit!” Jeff kicked the wall and yelped.
“Alright…calm down…” Charlie licked his chops. “There is…one thing we can do.”
“What’s that?” Greg demanded.
“There’s a tailor in the city who can solve all our problems, but there’s a catch to it and you might not like it. He’s the best tailor on a budget.”
“So where is this ‘best tailor on a budget’?” Jeff huffed.
They were all still sweaty from their earlier exertions. They really, really needed baths, and Charlie, the dashing-looking black wolf rogue, was the only one with the skill to loot money and get them said bath.
“Give me a second. Some of these tailors offer grooming on top of clothing.” Charlie told them.
“Sounds too high-end.” Greg replied.
“Nah, that’s how things are in Europe. Some places, at least.” Jeff said. “There’s even ‘bathroom hosts’ who stand around and give people warm towels. It’s part of the hospitality industry.”
“Right, but are we basically doing a dine and dash?” Greg said, then sighed when Jeff and Charlie gave him confused looks. “Have you guys never shoplifted in real life?”
“I stole a candy bar when I was a kid.” Jeff offered.
“I once stole a leather jacket by putting it on, putting my coat over it, then walking out.” Charlie replied.
“Amateurs.” Greg sighed. “Look, I used to shoplift all the time with my friends before I eventually got caught. Like, every weekend for months.”
“Jeez!” Charlie gawped.
“The important thing is, we need to not attract attention. If we come in as a group, people will notice.” Greg continued. “And if we DO come in as a group, we need to appear as customers. The problem is, the longer you stay in an establishment, the more memorable you are. Which means if we DO steal from this shop, they’ll have guards waiting for us on our return.”
“So we can’t come back after the caravan.” Charlie swallowed. “Maybe…”
“Maybe what?” Jeff asked.
“Well, there’s a few shops for charity.”
“You want us to go to Fantasy Goodwill?” Jeff snorted.
“No, I mean we can demonstrate our abilities and see if we can sing for our supper, so to speak.” Charlie replied. “Or I can steal enough money from pick pocketing. Fleece people in gambling.”
“All those other options could end badly.” Greg pointed out.
“Exactly. This place transforms people, so we don’t want to get caught or get into a fight and end up in jail. I suggest we take the least risky route FIRST, then go on a shoplifting spree and escape on the caravan as a last resort kinda thing.”
“And the tailor?” Jeff prodded.
“Well, I listened to rumors using my criminal background and there is one shop that works.” Charlie replied.
“What’s it’s name?” Greg asked.
“It’s called Beyond Alterations. Run by a magical tailor named ‘The Ever-Delightful Glitz’. Supposedly he’s a half-fey stag.” Charlie replied.
“Ah.” Greg nodded. “How close are we?”
“Just up the street and then we turn clockwise twice, then counterclockwise three times.”
“Turn clockwise…?” Jeff stared at him stupidly before his eyes widened. “...Oh. MAGICAL tailor.”
“Yeah. Pretty exclusive. If we can find it, we deserve to find it. So Glitz will be interested in helping us out regardless. In game terms, for persuasion purposes, he starts at neutral no matter how terrible we look.” Charlie nodded.
“A secret tailor shop. Good rolls, huh?” Jeff grinned.
“Nat 20, apparently.” Charlie smirked. “I am useful, you know.”
“Lord knows we need a bout of good luck.” Greg smiled.
“Praise Anoia!” Jeff giggled.
“Praise her!” Greg waved his arms around happily.
“You two…” Charlie chuckled, then looked up. They’d reached the crossroads. Shops stretched from left to right, bars and pubs to the north and south. “Alright, we’re at the crossroads. Let’s do the secret turns on three. One. Two. Three.”
The three turned in place as though taking in the sights.
After the last turn, a ripple rolled through reality. Along with the ripple came an ominous groaning noise and the sound of stone scraping against stone. The three adventurers whirled in time to see a large stone building expand from between two shops, shoving them aside as it manifested between them.
‘Beyond Alterations’ was framed in gold lettering on the top of the entrance. Two rich wooden double doors flanked by bay windows displaying fantastical fashion lay underneath the store’s sign. It was three stories tall and appeared very grand, if a bit understated. Exactly the design an up-scale establishment might have. Minimalist yet expensive-looking, would be how anyone looking at it might classify it.
Far out of their price range, in other words.
“Whoa!” Jeff gasped.
“This is…amazing!” Greg’s eyes were wide.
Charlie sighed. “Alright, let’s go. We have thirty seconds to enter it before the entrance closes.”
“H-how many Nat 20’s did you roll, bro?” Jeff huffed as they ran into the double doors.
“More than you know.” Charlie muttered under his breath. “There’s a cost to this, guys.”
“No shit.” Jeff said as they entered the building.
The interior of the shop was grand and richly appointed. The walls were covered in expensive dark wood with gilded gold trim and black marble flooring with mosaic inlays. It smelled of leather and money and a delectable scent that reminded Charlie of the signature scents in clothing stores back on earth. It screamed wealth.
“Greetings, customers.” A deep, melodious voice said.”I am Glitz.”
Charlie turned and saw a tall, thin, and handsome buck wearing a well-tailored black suit standing near the center of the shop. The stag’s coat was black with spots of white freckling it and his antlers were pure gold. He spotted Charlie and bowed.
“Ah, young Charles. It has been a while.”
“Yes.” Charlie swallowed and walked forward, withdrawing a single platinum Coin from his pocket and handing it to the buck. “I need a bath and a tailor. For my friends.”
“Two.” The buck said, eyeing Jeff and Greg. “They will require substantial improvement.”
Greg grimaced but pulled out another Coin. “I only have one left.”
“Then I suggest you use it wisely.” Glitz replied, one brow raised. “There is an…Inhumation Request as well. If you choose to accept it, the interested client is offering a Coin as well.”
“What’s going on?” Greg asked, stepping towards them.
“Hey, did you have money after all?” Jeff stared angrily at the platinum Coin. “Why didn’t we just use that to get clothes?!”
“You are. Have you and your partner come to get tailored?” Glitz asked, looking between the bear and the cat.
“Wait, is that what’s going on? Then…yes.” Jeff stepped forward. “I want black wizard robes. And, uh, nothing touches this body but pure silk. You can just get my partner something from the kid's department.”
“I see, and would your partner like to be wrapped in silk too? Some people think it's tacky, but I really enjoy it when couples dress alike.” Glitz smiled.
“Wait-no! This isn’t-we’re not a couple, man.” Jeff protested. “We’re adventurers and we just need some clothes to make a good impression.”
“Yes, there are lots of men chasing us!” Greg said hurriedly.
“As well they should be.” Glitz smiled. “You have nothing to worry about. Please, follow the signs to the baths. Would you like coffee or tea?”
“Uh…tea.” Greg blinked, leaving for the baths.
“Coffee. Cream and sugar, please.” Jeff grinned before waddling towards the baths as well.
Charlie and Glitz waited for the two anthros to leave the room.
“Um, I can explain their presence-” Charlie started to say.
“I already know.” Glitz cut him off. “I know everything that happens in this city. Greg was a lion barbarian and fell for the hag’s trap. Jeff is a magic-using slob.”
Charlie bit his lip. “They…they aren’t bad, you know?”
“I would not. So, tailoring. What were you thinking?”
“We need money and to get Jeff motivated.” Charlie said without hesitation. “Greg is currently useless as a barbarian.”
“I see.” Glitz stood and wandered over to a display case. “Come and take your pick.”
Charlie followed him.
The display case had several miniaturized figures. They were of a variety of animals dressed in elegant gear. Little descriptions were etched on their bases. Charlie mulled them over. Tiger Martial Artist. Bear Bodyguard. Mink Prince. Elk Hunter, Sparrow Sharpshooter. There were a hundred more, all unique in occupation and dress style.
“If you’d like to make modifications, we have multiple specializations and variations.” Glitz replied. “Or, if you believe this is too drastic, I can always just give them some clothes and send them on their way. A waste of your Coins, I’d say.”
“What do you recommend?” Charlie asked after mulling over the options.
“This one for your friend Jeff and this for Greg.” Glitz pointed to two separate miniatures.
“Jeff won’t enjoy that.”
“I’d say he has no real choice in the matter.” Glitz smiled, revealing oddly sharp teeth for a stag. “He’s rather terrible right now.”
“Ummm….perhaps present these to them and ask if they’d like to customize themselves?”
“Interesting.” Glitz tapped a hooflet on his muzzle. “It should make accepting the changes easier. Yes, I suppose that would be best. I will limit them if things get too out of hand.”
“So…even though I haven’t been Initiated, you’ll still help me?”
“Of course. A Coin is a Coin. I shall undertake their outfitting.But the Inhumation Request is involuntary. You WILL perform it.”
“Will that be entirely necessary?”
“You brought outsiders here.” Glitz shrugged. “It must be done.”
Charlie sighed. “Okay.”
“Now, go take your bath. Tea with sugar, correct?”
“Of course.” Charlie left to join the others at the bath.
The baths were large and steaming, covered in the same black marble the rest of the shop was covered in. Ever burning torches burned brightly in gold sconces along the wall Jeff and Greg were already bathing, towels on their heads. Jeff was a wet furry blob and Greg looked incredibly skinny when his fur was soaked. They waved lazily at him when he entered.
Charlie disrobed and jumped in with a splash. The water was nice and warm and soothing. He sighed and waded over to the edge of the baths where the rest of his party was at.
“Alright, so what’s all of this really?” Jeff asked, his eyes closed. “This is amazing.”
“Yeah, gotta say, this is way more than just some Nat 20 with a Criminal Background.” Greg said.
“It’s my backstory.” Charlie explained. “That’s why you don’t know it. I’m a candidate for Initiation into the Underground Order. It’s an organization known as Tartarus by the authorities. It’s a collection of thieves, murderers, and those who assist them.”
“Oh, and you pay in Coins. So it’s like that one movie series. Very cool.” Jeff said.
“Yes. I’m pulling favors to even get this help. I’m not even fully Initiated.”
“You had Coins.” Greg pointed out.
“Yes, I started with three Coins as my choice of Magic Item.”
“And now you’ve used two.” Jeff pointed out. “I’m guessing they’re only supposed to be used for emergencies.”
Charlie nodded glumly. “I wanted to save them to use during my Initiation trial.”
“It’s fine, man. We’ll help you.” Jeff replied. “My magic can do anything!”
“You’re level three.” Charlie pointed out. “Wizards suck until level 5.”
“Six.” Jeff shrugged. “Still…”
“Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. We still need to figure out how to kill the hag.” Greg said.
“That’s…kinda why I brought us here.” Charlie said slowly. “We’re too vulnerable as a party. But don’t worry, you’ll be tailored into something better.”
“Sweet. Robes of the Archmage?” Jeff asked, cracking an eye open.
“Ehhhh…sort of. You guys will definitely be able to better contribute with the right clothes.” Charlie said.
“I’ll wear anything as long as I can be useful.” Greg nodded.
“Wizards wear robes, but I’m open to hiding my true power. Wait, are we going undercover?”
“Kind of…more like new identities.” Charlie smiled.
“Fine by me. Not sure how you’ll disguise me, though.” Jeff burped and patted his furry gut. “Maybe a merchant?”
“Mmm…you’ll see.” Charlie said.
Glitz walked in with a tray of biscuits, tea, and coffee. The three enjoyed them, munching on the biscuits and sipping their drinks. Glitz shot a look at Charlie and the wolf nodded back. The stag left momentarily, then returned with fluffy black towels for each of them.
“When you are ready, I shall get you fitted. Who would like to go first?” Glitz asked.
“Mmm…I just wanna soak a little while longer.” Jeff closed his eyes and sank back into the water. “You go first, Greg.”
“Fine by me!” Greg eagerly hopped out of the bath and toweled himself off. “Geezus, all this hair makes drying of a hassle!”
“Follow me.” Glitz paused. “And don’t bother wearing clothes, I need to perform measurements.”
Greg blushed under his fur. “Uh, well, okay then.”
“Believe me, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” Jeff winked.
Glitz eyed Jeff and a small smirk crossed his lips. “I’m glad you appreciate your friend. Now, come.”
They left.