Bill hid his frustration as best as he could as he watched his best friend inexplicably turned wife of forty years sashay over to where Willow was excitedly introducing Rob...Bobbi Bolstrum to Gloria, whose aged face simply blanched under the unexpected attention, and couldn't help but find his gaze drawn to the large rear that dominated the back of the 'mom jeans' Tammy was wearing.
"Damn" Bill's newly deepened voice muttered as the former Tom Ackerton inserted herself into the conversation and placed a small hand on Willow's arm, giving their daughter a motherly smile as she turned Willow's attention from the terrified looking Gloria back to her. Meanwhile, the redheaded, busty beauty of Bobbi Bolstrum continued to smile nervously and shuffle her feet, one hand intertwined with Willow's while the other hand was rubbing it's thumb and index fingers together; something Bill knew Rob would do whenever the bully had momentarily been outsmarted. Bobbi...If she really was a Bobbi and not just Rob in different packaging, was clearly uncomfortable.
"Willow, honey, let's take it inside. I'll get us all something to drink and your father and Gloria can join us in a few minutes, okay? They were talking about work just before you arrived" Tammy said, casting a quick, knowing look at Bill and Gloria.
'Gloria and I work together?' Bill pondered, he and Gloria sharing a look of their own before suddenly his second set of memories clued him in. He worked for Big Jon's company (or rather the company he inherited from his father), he was a regional director, more or less his own boss and Gloria was...Oh jesus, Gloria was his secretary! Across the porch Gloria seemed to reach to same conclusion and her face paled even further as her eyes widened in horror.
Willow's smile dropped for a moment before it reappeared, bright white teeth gleaming in the morning sunlight, "Oh, okay! C'mon Bobbi, my mom makes the BEST lemonade you've ever tasted! And I can show you my old room! It's still my old room right mom? You and dad didn't turn it into an office or anything did you?" Willow's face suddenly contorted in concern.
"No no, everything is just the way you left it! I didn't let your dad turn it into a man cave!" Tammy chuckled, rubbing her daughter's back and softly guiding her towards the heavy oak door of the Strasserman family residence. She pushed the door open and, with a final look at Bill, headed inside.
"Oh gosh, this is so exciting!" Willow squealed as she pulled Bobbi along behind her as the trio entered the house, Bobbi's eyes going even wider, locking with Bill's for a brief moment before her shorter fiancee pulled her through the opening and the heavy door swung shut behind her.
And then it was quiet once more on the porch, the only sounds were the ambient sounds of Shermer, the wind through the trees, birdsong, cars in the distance, a ringing of a school bell that had, before the strange twist of fate, the three teenagers turned middle-aged adults had been headed for.
And the dull clacking of Gloria's heels on the patio as she staggered backwards to lean on the porch railing. The two teenagers turned adults stood there for a moment as they gathered their bearings; Bill simply processing everything that had happened and his 'dad brain' sounding off all sorts of alarms about his little girl getting married to a complete stranger...Or a complete asshole, and Gloria simply coming to terms with her own rush of adult memories. The silence was finally broken however, when a synthetic chime called out near Gloria, causing them both to be startled.
"Oh god, what the hell is that!?" Gloria cried, spinning her head around as the sound seemed to be right in her ears, "Oh god don't tell me it's some weird future robot or something!" The slightly graying raven haired woman spun in her business suit, free hand pawing at the air in a panic before Bill realized what it was.
"Gloria...I think that's your cellphone" His gruff voice said as he took a step forward. Bill didn't see anything that resembled a phone on Gloria's person, nor did her retro-future business suit seem to have any pockets.
"But I don't have my phone on me!" She whined, patting herself down, "And shouldn't I, like, at least have a purse if I'm an old lady!? God, I just want to go home!"
"Oh just answer the damn thing so you'll both shut up!" Bill hissed, casting a look at the windows of the home he now remembered a lifetime in. Hopefully Tammy was keeping Willow and...Bobbi distracted. Last thing he needed was daughter asking questions he was sure none of them were ready to answer.
"How dare you! You can't talk to me like that!" Gloria hissed back, her panic momentarily giving way and true anger pushing through the feeling of sheer exhaustion she had felt since landing in this messed up future world.
In her hand there was a brief glimmer of green-gold light and Bill tried to hide his alarm. Gloria had been pissed off when she'd wished them all here, clearly the gemstone required you to be angry before it granted wishes, and the last thing Bill needed was to be swept away into another fucked up version of reality. Even if he'd lost most of his life, this one...wasn't so bad.
"Okay okay! I'm sorry, Gloria. We're all just a little stressed out right now. Just answer it and then hang up, I'm sure it isn't important and then we can just sit down and figure out what to do next" Bill hoped the quick apology would work. IF nothing else, maybe he'd get a few seconds to just pry the Stone out of her hand...
Gloria gave Bill a smug look, apparently not noticing the faint glow in her hand fading away. "Good, now how do I make this thing stop?"
"I don't know! Maybe just say 'answer' or something?" Bill shrugged, the actual answer lost on him. Apparently the memories were selective.
"If we're in the future then you should know how this works! You're the geek Bill!" Gloria groaned before looking upwards and letting out a meek "Umm, answer?" The synthetic chiming immediately stopped and Gloria let out a squeak of alarm as pictures appeared in front of her eyes! And not just a picture, but it was live video as some flabby looking man that looked like a frog was smiling at her! Off to the side there was a handful of words next to icons for signal strength and volume, and Gloria spied the name 'Ronny' at the top of the short list.
'Who the hell is Ronny?' She thought as the man, who clearly knew her, began speaking and a voice that sounded like a dying cow filled her ears.
"Hey baby, did you finish talking with Bill? Is he gonna give you that raise?" 'Ronny' said, his beady eyes glistening as much as his skin.
"Uhm..." Was all Gloria could think to say. Who was this ugly ass clown, and why was he calling her 'baby'? She looked over at Bill and pointed to the video in front of her, but Bill simply gave her another shrug.
'Fucking useless nerd!' Gloria mentally hissed. Could Bill not see or hear this guy talking? Was this actual science fiction crap that she was using right now? Her eyes focused on the screen that apparently only she could see and read over the additional information, her eyes nearly popping out of her head when she saw 'Husband' tacked on under the words 'Relation'. 'OMG! OMGOMGOMGOMG!' Gloria screamed as the world started to spin around her. It was too much! It was just too much! She didn't want to be old, she didn't want to be in the future, she didn't want to be Bill's secretary, she didn't want to look like her mother and she definitely did not want to be married to some frog mutant guy!
"Baby, can you hear me?" 'Ronny's' face went from a disturbingly wide grin to a unsure frown.
"I, uh, I'm gonna call you back! Bye!" Gloria said, trying to not black out as the world swam around her. But the video remainined.
"Gloria, honey are you-" 'Ronny' said again, a pudgy, sweaty hand reaching out towards her.
'Ohgodwhatifhecanactuallytouchmethisistooweirdomg!' Gloria internally screamed.
"Uh, bye! So long! Uh, adios! C'mon you stupid phone, hang up!" Gloria screamed.
"Baby, what is-" Ronny began but finally the screen disappeared and the grotesque man's voice went away. Gloria began to sigh in relief but the ringing began again.
"NO! NONONO! I REFUSE! BLOCK CALL!" Gloria screeched as she bashed her palms against her head. Thankfully the chiming immediately stopped and never returned. Gloria looked up, tears filling her eyes.
"Oh god Bill, he was so ugly!" She wailed.
"Who?" Bill asked. The boy turned patriarch had no idea what was happening, to him Gloria had simply been talking to no one. If it really was a phone...Then only Gloria could see it! Actual sci-fi technology! Bill felt the inner geek in him get excited by that, but he tried to remain focused.
"MY HUSBAND!" The raven haired woman bawled as the tears came flooding out. This wasn't fair! She was supposed to marry Tom! She was supposed to be famous and rich by now, not...not stuck as Bill's secretary and married to an ugly dude! She cast a blurry look around the porch and made her way to a nearby patio chair. "Oh god this place is so fucked up Bill! I didn't want any of this! I didn't actually think the wish would come true and ruin my life! It was supposed to ruin YOUR lives!"
"Gee, thanks for the heartfelt confession" Bill snarked back, whatever pity he felt replaced as Gloria's egotistical bitchy nature re-surfaced. "Here, just give me the gemstone and I'll make a wish. God knows I'm angry about all of this as well"
"NO!" Gloria shouted back, "YOU'LL JUST LEAVE ME HERE AND GO BACK HOME! I'm NOT GOING TO BE STUCK AS A OLD HAG, BILL!"
Bill was about to fire back when the front door creaked open and Tammy's blond head poked out.
"Be quiet!" She hissed, "Gloria, just stay here and we'll figure it out later! Now hush!"