A vagina.
Ruut paused, indecision suddenly gripping him. The full effects of the blue powder had yet to fad, and while the Medicine Man's words had comforted Rob, and he had largely started to let go and embrace his new self, a part of the old yet remained. Face to face with Martin's changed sex Ruut couldn't help but question whether it was his place to interfere so much with Martin's own journey. It also made him wonder if he would lose his self, his soul to the change, just as Martin had lost his gender. Looking down on himself he couldn't help but grin. He did love his new self, any question he had before he entered the tent was gone. He was Ruut and didn't want to be Rob or anyone else. Yet, in spite of this acceptance, he didn't want to lose his self.
Did becoming Ruut mean the death of Rob? What did it even mean to be Rob? To be Ruut? If he could lose himself that easily, did the self even exist?
Ruut stepped back from Martin's body, his heart pounded, and head became dizzy. He felt gentle hand on his shoulder, steadying him.
"Calm child. No need to worry." the man said, his commanding yet soothing voice giving Ruut a measure of calm.
"Rob does not have to die for Ruut to live" The man gently turned Ruut, bending down to face the boy at eye level. Ruut stared into his opaque pupils, their gaze both penetrating yet oddly warm. While blind, Ruut couldn't help but think the man had sight, though perhaps not the same sight as himself.
"The goddess, she is a gentle being. She does not kill,but transforms. Ruut and Rob are at once one in the same, and different through and through. Yes, you as Ruut are quite young and have much to learn about life, manhood and responsibility. I couldn't help but notice my pouch of mam’ya powder was missing this morning. Perhaps Rob wouldn't have taken it." He said, winking at the boy.
"But Rob isn't a young boy, nor does he live in the jungle. If he did, however, I'm sure he would have made the same choice. You see, both of you share the same ọkŕn , life essence. No matter what memories you have, age, skin color, family, you are the same. Think about it child. As Rob, what were you like as a boy?
Ruut thought about it, distant memories of pranks he, as rob, played on his older brothers. Getting into trouble with Chad by his side, time and again. While he was technically different from Ruut, his younger self shared the same mischievous energy.
"And when you were little, what did you always want to be when you were older?"
Ruut remembered dreaming of being a football star. Strong, athletic, able to defeat any player he met on the gridiron.
The old man smiled "Was that dream so very different than your current dream of being the biggest, strongest warrior in the whole tribe?"
Ruut thought about it, and a smile crossed his face "No"
"While you may forget Rob, he'll never leave. Rob isn't dying, he's just becoming something new. He's becoming you!"
Hearing these words, Ruut realized he was tensing his shoulders, the stress of his essential worries manifesting physically. Releasing them, it felt almost as if he was physically sinking into his new self. Embracing Ruut more fully.
"Now as for your concerns about Maa’ti, do not worry. No matter what you do to speed or slow her changes, the decision is with the goddess. You may be her instrument at times, but that is all. Maa’ti and the goddess will share their own transformative journey."
Ruut listened to the man. As he relaxed into his jungle boy self, he realized that each word this man said needed to be remembered. The medicine man was very old and it wouldn't be long before he would have to take the mantle. There was so much to learn and Chatok, as chief, would be counting on him to help lead the tribe through medicine, wisdom, and the magiks of the goddess.
"You are lucky to be a part of such a journey and should celebrate the opportunity to act as her servant. Most never feel her hands on theirs so directly."
Ruut nodded, excitement filling him as he realized just how special he was. He was working as the hand of the goddess!
"Now my boy, lets continue our work."
Ruut nodded and picked up the paste. During their conversation, Maa’ti's skin had continued its transformation, the reddish brown had spread across most of her torso and arms, and was now leaking down into her legs.
Becoming what the goddess needs Ruut thought as he fingered some more paste, spreading it between his fingers.
Gently, he began to work more of it into Martin's skin, the shade melting and spreading further wherever the paste spread. As if guided by a pair of invisible hands, Ruut found himself gently massaging Martins midrif. With each stroke of his hands, it began to pinch inwards, giving the boy a more girlish figure. Ruut's hands moved to her legs, his massaging fingers having similar effect. With each pass of his hands, the muscle seemed to melt away. Leaving feminine, dark-skinned legs in his wake. Soon, Maa'ti's skin had fully adapted.
Ruut looked at his face, what once was boyish had completely softened. He saw the face of a sleeping girl. Below her, on her chest, some fat had started to accumulate, the final touches on Martin's new form.
Stepping back, Ruut looked to the medicine man. He was inexperienced, and unsure if he should continue or had done anything right at all. Looking back through his ever, oddly perceptive eyes, the medicine man nodded in approval.
Ruut smiled. The future was bright, and his place in the tribe, exciting.