While Finn was busy deciding what to turn Ben into, the party was busy trying to find shelter.
A sudden storm had swept the city as they returned with the meager loot form the hag’s hut. Lightning flashed in the sky and rain poured down in literal sheets of water. It was honestly rather terrifying for all three of them, especially Geoffrey, who was wide-eyed. Unusual for the normally stoic polar bear butler.
“Where the hell did the storm come from?!” Geoffrey shouted to be heard over the rushing wind.
“No idea. Random roll?” Charlie yelled his reply.
“Maybe…” Geoffrey said, glancing up and freezing mid-movement.
Charlie and Gregory followed the bear’s gaze to the sky. Above them, flapping its wings, was an adult red dragon. The party tensed, each of them instinctively understanding that if the dragon attacked, they were dead.
And then the world seemed to jump and the dragon disappeared.
The three turned to stare at each other.
“You both saw the red dragon, right?” Gregory's normally composed speech faltered. “I’m not crazy?”
“Yeah, we saw it.” Geoffrey said, then added, “my liege.”
“Fucking Finn!” Charlie hissed. What was that?”
“The jump?” Geoffrey asked.
“Yeah.” Charlie replied.
“He killed us with the dragon and reset time, if I had to guess.” Geoffrey replied.
“He can do that?!” Charlie’s jaw dropped.
Geoffrey just nodded. “Let’s get the Prince to shelter and agonize over our deaths later.”
“R-right!” Charlie nodded.
They helped the Prince down the street to the nearest inn. The party struggled against the wind and rain, thunder booming loudly overhead. At the far end of the street was a bar called the Sit and Swill. Charlie pointed it out and they hustled to it as quickly as they could.
“Have any of you been here before?” Gregory asked as they ran between awnings to their destination.
“No, my liege. It wasn’t one of the inns I vetted.” Geoffrey replied.
“I have heard of it.” Charlie said. “It was one of the places the hag targeted. That lair of hers had extensive notes, including caravan arrivals for potential sources of souls that wouldn’t be missed.”
“Ah. A dive bar.” Gregory spat.
The party briefly hesitated, it was obvious that Finn was actively writing the world around them and this seemed like the kind of place that might be a trap. Lightning struck a nearby building, sending the party to the ground as sparks rained down on the cobblestones around them.
“We have no choice!” Geoffrey growled. “This weather is dangerous, my liege!”
“Fine.” The mink eyed the red-hot vane. “We’ll stay there then.”
The party ran for the tavern and barreled through the door as another lightning bolt struck a building at the end of the street.
Charlie looked around. The bar was full of patrons. As far as dive bars went… well, he hadn’t considered dive bars to be very popular. The bar’s interior was lit in a honey-colored glow. Its walls were of ancient limestone, carved long ago, while the floors were of ancient flagstone.
Dark wood tables were covered in white linen. Most were full of freshly baked breads and jams and jellies, though the smell of rotisserie chicken filled his nostrils. A waitress set down a basket of french fries on a table nearby.
Charlie’s eyes narrowed.
Everything else being served was appropriate for a medieval setting, but french fries were a certain anachronism. And, as he watched further, that double cheeseburger with American cheese and bacon was also definitely not served in the middle ages. Fired chicken, buffalo wings, ranch dressing, ketchup…customers were eating things that shouldn’t even be in a fantasy world.
Thunder shook the inn and the lights flickered…Charlie’s eyes widened as he realized the lanterns were fake. Electric. Someone had actually installed electric lights along the walls. How were all these modern day amenities possible? Well, of course, Finn could have decided to give one bar modern technology, but that didn’t seem to be his style.
“Hey kids, get inside or stay outside. Don’t just leave the door open.” A rumbly voice spoke next to him.
Charlie glanced behind him.
Next to the door stood a large, heavily muscled and rather obese middle-aged ram. He looked an awful lot like Dave, Finn’s dad. The ram was garbed in some kind of Scottish-Celtic light armor and at his side was a huge maul.
“What, were you born in a barn?” The ram snorted, “Close the damn door, you’re letting all the cold air out!”
“Sorry,” Charlie said, walking inside.
“Pah!” The ram spat into a bucket next to his feet.
“Is there anywhere to sit?” Gregory asked, surveying the room.
“Corner booth up against the wall over there.” The Ram pointed.
“Thanks.” Charlie bowed.
The ram snorted and shifted in place.
Charlie and the rest of the party went over to the booth and took their seats. Prince Gregory excused himself to the bathroom to freshen up. While he was gone the two players who still retained their memories spoke.
“Our stuff is still outside,” Geoffrey said to Charlie. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“They just look like empty jars to most people.” Charlie replied. “I was given Arcane Eyes as a part of the…when I was becoming an assassin. I can see magic.”
“Really? Lucky you,” The polar bear rolled his one good eye, “I punched ice for ten years.”
“Wouldn’t that…-?”
“Break every bone in my fist? Oh yes. Over. And over. And over again.” Geoffrey flexed his stiff fingers. “But that’s just my backstory.”
“What are you getting at?”
“Whining to me about how you were subjected to horrible experiments in a backstory is about as effective as me doing so to you. Neither of those stories are true, we just believe they are.” Geoffrey rumbled.
“Fair…”
“Plus, Prince Gregory is, you know, a literal Prince through no effort of his own, now.” Geoffrey continued.
“Isn’t that true with all royalty?” Charlie murmured, keeping his voice low as he saw Gregory walk out of the bathroom.
“Maybe. For the life of me, I don’t know why this polar bear is so devoted to the little weasel.” Geoffrey replied, glancing behind him and then standing when Gregory approached, offering the Prince his seat. “Have a seat, my liege.”
“Thank you Geoffrey,” Gregory replied, sliding into the booth.
Charlie saw Geoffrey’s dress pants tent, which the polar bear covered by sliding in next to the Prince.
The wolf shook his head. Those two were such a handful. Sometimes he swore the Prince just wanted to fuck Geoffrey and not reclaim his throne. How was he supposed to continue his family’s legacy if he were gay? Royalty took bloodlines seriously. They got paid to continue it, that’s the literal price they had to pay to rule a nation.
Maybe one of them would take a temporary gender shift potion? Ah but which one would make a better woman? The mink would be the obvious choice, but a hyper muscular female polar bear getting plowed by the much smaller prince could be funny too. Oh. Wait. He was part of their trio too. Would that mean-
His perverse thoughts were interrupted when the big ram clomped over to their booth on heavy hooves.
“What are you havin' fer drinks?” The ram asked roughly, pulling a notepad and a stick of graphite out of his tartan.
“Aren’t you the bouncer?” Gregory asked suspiciously.
“Aren’t ya nosy?” The ram snapped back.
“What do you have,” Geoffrey asked, the polar bear trying desperately to salvage the situation.
“Beer, Wine, Soda, Water-”
“Wait, you have soda?” Charlie interrupted.
“Aye.” The ram rolled his eyes.
“As in carbonated, flavored sugar water?” Charlie pressed.
“Aye, that’s-” The ram’s eyes flew open, “Oi! How the Hells did ya know that?”
“How do YOU know that?” Charlie’s ear flattened. “And what’s with the cheeseburgers and fries? Why do you have stuff from Earth here?”
“Who are you?” The ram asked, a sudden look of terror in his eyes.
“I’m Charlie. This is Geoffrey and Gregory.” Charlie growled as his hand reached down to a hidden dagger. “Explain yourself!”
“I’m…Hagerd,” The ram said. “Are you… Finn’s friends?”
“Finn’s..?” Charlie’s eyes widened, “Are you another player? What’s your real name?!”
“I..I’m Hagerd,” The ram’s eyes watered, “And I’ve been stuck here for twenty years…”
“What is this nonsense?” Gregory spat, completely unaware of the developing situation, “Are you going to cry or take our damn orders?”
“Gregory...” Geoffrey said quietly, “He’s been stuck here for...”
“Then move out of this podunk town! Gods, what a drama queen. Listen fatso, I want a Coke and a Double Cheeseburger with fries.” Gregory said, “And please try to keep your tears out of my food.”
“What should I do?” Hagerd asked Charlie, ignoring Gregory completely.
“Diet and exercise.” Gregory said firmly.
“Take our orders,” Charlie rolled his eyes at the Prince’s outburst, “And speak to me when you’re off your shift.”
Hagerd wrote down their orders and hoofed it to the back while Charlie watched with inquisitive eyes.
“Ugh, what an eyesore! Why is he so fat?” came a sudden outburst from the mink prince.
“He’s older, that kinda happens,” Geoffrey replied.
“Also, drinks beer and works at a restaurant.”
“Disgusting. If I should ever end up as fat as he is, kill me.”
“Yes my liege,” Geoffrey said promptly.
“That was way too fast!” Gregory hopped up and pointed at Geoffrey in outrage, “Why did you answer so quickly like that?”
“Have a milkshake as well, my liege,” Geoffrey replied.
“You silly bear!” Prince Gregory slapped the scarred polar bear on his head.
“My liege!” Geoffrey protested as the Prince rained blows on the top of his thick skull.
“I’m merely slapping sense into you!” Gregory huffed, running out of steam.
“Perhaps you should order the cheesecake as well, then…” Geoffrey said.
“You…!”
Charlie rolled his eyes as the pair bickered and turned his thoughts to the newest problem.
So, their host and the bar’s bouncer was actually a player. He knew Finn was…less than nice when he punished Geoffrey and Gregory, but putting someone in a simulation for twenty years? That was torture and imprisonment. Something about Finn was truly off. Had the power gone to his head?