Hagerd became more active in the community after that, taking on the quests he’d ignored on the board that were appropriate for one person.
Fergus adamantly refused to come with him, not having proper training to do so. So Hagerd had cleared out bandit camps and cultist lairs and had stumbled upon hidden treasures. Every once in a while it would be mundane things like finding lost kids or investigating murders, but he had fun regardless.
Then he got tired of being an adventurer.
It was after he’d almost been gutted by a skeleton guarding a treasure chest containing a few bags of silver. Not much loot, though more than he could get in a month as a bouncer. But what was the point of risking his life if he couldn’t move? What was he amazing all of this wealth for?
Also, the food here…well, it just kinda sucked after a while. Roast chicken was delicious at first, but after having it and slabs of steaks…some variety, some spices, some friggin’ hamburgers would be nice!
Plus the plumbing was non-existent. People would pee outside and poop in buckets and then dump them out of their windows. The city stank of piss and shit. It was something he just couldn’t get used to. Turning a corner and gagging at the smell was not fun.
Heating and cooling food was also an issue. Electricity didn’t exist. Nothing modern existed. And he really hated sweating his balls off in the oven of his brick home during the summer. Couldn’t even have proper sex, it was too hot to do anything.
So… Hagerd had resolved to fix things.
Plumbing and electricity were easy enough on a small scale, so he and Fergus resolved to tackle that first. Rubber was difficult to find, and rather expensive, since it only grew on trees in tropical areas of the world. Just like back on Earth.
But he had money, and soon they had rubber fittings and wire coverings to protect them from the shocks of the homemade generator Hagerd had setup. Copper wires and magnets were all one needed, really. Plumbing was also rather simple. Water could be cleaned with magic. Filtered with magic. No wastewater need pass out the pipes.
Once he had a working model of proper civic architecture and building plans, the city had graciously funded a project for the entire city. It was much cheaper than using spells to clean the streets or whatever it was they did. And within a year, the smell was gone.
After that, advances in the quality of life in Chloa-Chlaithe jumped significantly. Charlie and the others would never know how Hagerd had industrialized the small medieval country in less than ten years. Though in truth, it hadn’t been Hagerd alone. Once his electricity and plumbing diagrams had been sent to other cities, he was given leave to speak to inventors and scientists and mages.
His knowledge of what was possible, of his old reality, had spurred innovation.
It was thanks to him that The Order had so many wondrous magic devices. Cheaper, less effective implements were in every house in the city save for the most poor. But even then, housing standards were being put in place. Hovels would be knocked down and replaced.
In short, he was a hero in many ways he would never comprehend, for a country that didn’t actually exist and would die in twenty five simulated years.
That was what kept up at nights. But Fergus was there, in their newer, modern bed. Holding him tight and letting the ram shake, while whispering soothing words to him all the while. And so a few more years passed.
Fergus and Hagerd had started modernizing the menu, implementing recipes from Earth. Better food, more complex flavors. And of course, cheap fast food. Condiments. Desserts that hadn’t been invented and wouldn’t have been invented otherwise.
Hagerd worked as a bouncer on the side, now.
Most nights he spent drinking the delicious beer that Fergus made. Gradually, they both lost their figures as the entered middle age. Neither were doing real work anymore. Hagerd seemingly got better-but that was mostly because he’d convinced himself the party would never come. That Finn had forgotten about him. And that was, secretly, why he’d done so many things to change this world: to get Finn's attention.
But Finn hadn’t noticed, not until they entered the Sit and Swill twenty three years later.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
“And that’s it,” Hagerd said, leaning back, his spine popping as he stretched. “Here it is, the day I’ve dreaded.”
“It’s not like it’s a death sentence.” Charlie rolled his eyes.
“No…” Hagerd paused, “not for for me.”
Charlie sat in silence, watching the rain pour down the cobblestone road, only now noticing the sewer system that had been set up. The water was flowing into drains, likely into pipes beneath the street. The lights overhead, still going strong, were likely magical and part of Hagerd’s advice for less crimes.
“Safety?” Charlie pointed at the lights.
“Yeah, tipped Fergus’ cousin off to it. More lights less crime.” Hagerd shrugged.
“You could have done so much-”
“Finn would have put a stop to it instantly. I had to be careful, blend it in so an unobservant observer wouldn’t notice.”
“If he’s listening, he does now.”
“Fuck him.” Hagerd grunted and got up.
“If you knew you’d be adventuring, why let yourself go?”
“I think you know the answer to that.”
“Well… good luck.” Charlie said.
Hagerd snorted and walked away, into the back office. Fergus was there, little spectacles on his hoggish nose as he did the finances. He looked up and smiled when Hagerd entered the room.
“So, ready to leave with your friends?” Fergus asked.
“No. I’m not leaving you.” Hagerd replied.
“Hagerd…is that really wise?”
“Wise? Wise?” Hagerd exploded, “I was stuck here for twenty fawken years! Now he wants me to play his goddamn game?!”
Hagerd felt the fur on the back of his neck prickle.
“Hagerd, calm down,” Fergus took off his spectacles and stood, “Yes, Finn ignored you for twenty years. You have a right to be angry. But with how you described the way this…simulation works, no time has passed from his perspective at all.”
“I’m just...” Hagerd sagged into Fergus’ flabby arms, “I’m afraid of losing you.”
“You never will. No matter what.” Fergus smiled and guided the ram down to the couch. “Now sit here and I’ll be back to open the keg.”
“Keg?” Hagerd asked, though he found himself setting into a comfortable indentation on the couch…because this was where he always sat, right?
Wait, this felt a lot like deja vu. Hadn’t this exact scenario play out when he first entered the game? Fergus waddled back with a spigot and a hammer and walked over to the couch. Reaching up, he tapped the giant keg that loomed over the ram and adjusted the valve.
“Ready?"
Hagerd opened his muzzle wide and tilted his head up as Fergus twisted the tap on the spigot.
Golden, bubbly fluid streamed into his mouth, the luscious taste of browned barely and hops filling his mind. Hagerd gulped and gulped before finally relaxing his throat and letting the cold, effervescent fluid pour straight down his gullet.
The beer went straight to his gut and then to his head. Hagerd felt pleasantly fuzzy and warm. He rubbed his gut in wide circles, feeling it grow a bit larger. By the time the hog turned off the spigot, Hagerd felt the room begin to sway around him from the alcohol’s buzz.
Hagerd belched. “Tha’ hit the spot!”
“It was just to get you started.” Fergus smiled, rubbing Hagerd’s lightly bloated gut, which had more white hairs on it than before. He reached up and placed his trotter on the spigot, “Ready big guy?”
“Big guy?” Hagerd asked.
His stomach suddenly growled something fierce. Though wary of the strange situation, he was thirsty, his mouth parched and belly empty. Mouth watering, Hagerd found himself tipping his head up and opening his mouth, desperate for more of that alcoholic nectar of the gods. Fergus grinned and twisted the spigot.
Liquid gold flowed into him, swirling round his mouth before draining into his stomach. The more he drank, the more warmth filled him, though he felt weaker than he had moments ago. Hagerd’s massive muscles were slowly fading away, eroding under thickening chub and withering from disuse. He hadn’t worked out in years, not since he and Fergus decided to start gaining.
Fergus gently rubbed Hagerd’s belly as the ram belched. It swelled ever larger, losing the firmness as the muscles supporting it weakened and withered, sagging around Hagerd instead. The ram glanced down, seeing his gut swell, and tried to reach up and turn off the spigot. He watched his arm lose its impressive bicep as it sagged downward into a flabby ham instead.
“More, my big pig?” Fergus winked and twisted the spigot further open.
Hagerd let out a surprised snort as his nostrils widened and flattened into a porcine sniffer. His horns clattered to the floor, fur falling off him in droves, leaving the swine-to-be naked, hide pink and bristly. As more beer poured down his throat, a wave of exhaustion struck Hagerd. As more weight piled up, he felt absolutely lethargic, sagging further into the couch.
Fergus sat his own well-marbled ass down on the couch next to him and lapped up the stream along with the former ram. Hagerd’s eyes widened. Fergus’ face was wrinkled and tired-looking, though the extra fat stretched his skin. They were both becoming older, but it didn’t scare Hagerd too much. At least they’d do it together.
Their fat guts collided and the two pigs began kneading each other’s bellies. They were easily gaining fifty pounds, then a hundred pounds, their bristly hairs going white as they got ever older. Finally, the beer ran out, leaving only a few drips Hagerd found his tongue straining to lap up.
Fergus slid to his knees with a pained groan, then spread Hagerd’s thick thighs.
“I’m gonna make you cum.” Fergus said.
“Too bloated, love.” Hagerd groaned.
Fergus ignored him and lifted Hagerd’s slobby gut with both trotters. He buried his snout in the pig’s crotch, locking on his fat-encased spiral cock. Hagerd groaned again as the trotters lifted his gut and twisted it to and fro.
Hagerd groaned as the pressure seemed to only increase, not helping relieve the overstuffed feeling in his gut. He felt dizzy and warm and woozy. If anything, more pudge spilled between Fergus’ trotters. Again, the hog lifted Hagerd’s gut and twisted it. The world was swirling, the back room disappearing, replaced with a pen of mud and straw. He could feel the back of Fergus’ big bristly head on his undergut.
He was sitting on a ragged couch in a sty. That was all he could tell when the pig bursting his aching cock, expertly suckling it, lifted his gut one more time. The trotters kneaded it before letting it drop heavily onto the pig’s upper back.
An enormous belch erupted from Hagerd’s maw, the sudden release of pressure an odd sort of pleasure. It was so relaxing his cock bucked and spasmed into Fergus’ hungry mouth. Hagerd squealed in blissful satisfaction, his spiral cock unloading ribbons of cum. He slumped over Fergus’ back as his balls clenched and pumped.
The two hefty pigs didn’t notice the ratty couch disappear, leaving two meaty hogs alone in the sty. Hagerd let out a happy grunt, thoughts growing sluggish as more and more cum spewed out of him. Fergus snuffled and snorted below him, sucking relentlessly on his fat cock. Spines popped and hips and limbs reconfigured into a quadrupedal configuration as they continued to feralize.
With a final, happy grunt, the boar on top came one last time and slid off the other pig. They snorted and rooted in the mud, looking for more food, curly tails wiggling happily. Any human thoughts were gone from their minds.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
A certain anthropomorphic red dragon stared down at the tableau, a sneer on his scaly lips.
“You can stay old, fat pigs until you die.” Finn growled, watching the two gray-haired hogs go at it again.
Charlie ran into the sty. The sight of a semi-transparent red dragon hovering slightly above the two hogs didn’t leave much of a question as to what had happened.
“Finn, wait!” Charlie called out.
“Why?” Finn glared, draconic eyes narrowing to slits.
“Because you caused this.” Charlie said firmly. “He has a right to be angry with you.”
“With me? I have the ability to warp reality, what right does he have to anything?!” Finn roared.
“Weren’t you angry with God?” Charlie said quietly. “You were upset that you weren’t a muscular ram like your father, and even if he loved you, you’d never make him proud. And you said you hated god for doing that to you.”
“I don’t believe in God.” Finn sniffed.
“Not anymore, no.” Charlie conceded. “Give him a break, man. You stuck him here for twenty years. Of course he’d live his life and not want to leave. Come on.”
Finn tapped his claw. “Why are you upset with me?”
“Because I’m a friend and I need to step in before you get cringe, bro.” Charlie said. “You’re destroying all of your friends.”
“I can literally make new friends.”
“But they won’t be real, and you’ll know it.” Charlie replied. “Like using a love potion on someone who doesn’t love you. It’s fake. You’ll be happy for a little while before realizing it just isn’t fulfilling. Friendship isn’t agreeing all the time. It’s debate and concession. A mutual respect.”
“Fine,” Finn rolled his eyes and snapped his claws.
The sty disappeared, replaced with the back office again. Both hogs transformed back into Fergus and Hagerd. They stared at the dragon in horror. Finn rolled his eyes.
“You can thank Charlie for my mercy.” Finn snorted. “If you want your husband, win the game. Not playing the game will result in Fergus becoming bacon. Get it?”
“Yes,” Hagerd swallowed and turned to Charlie, “Thanks.”
“I warned you what might happen,” Charlie glowered.
“Why are you like this?” Fergus asked Finn.
“You’re just an NPC, what do you care?” Finn snapped.
“Because it’s cruel.” Fergus replied.
Finn shook his head and disappeared.
“Well, there it is.” Charlie said. “Now, are you coming?”
“Yes.” Hagerd nodded, shivering uncontrollably. “Yes I will.”
Charlie eyed him up. “And we’re going to have to take you to Glitz to get you Trimmed.”
“Trimmed?”
“Not as invasive as Tailoring. Not that you’d know what that was.” Charlie strode out the door. “Be ready by the time the bridge is repaired.”
The two lovers sat in silence for a while.