As Jake read the letter he had to start over several times, it simply didn't make sense.
Salutations Great Wizard,
I understand your fears and reservations, and given the nature of your livelihood and what you perceive to be at stake, I do not fault your unkind words and I assure you, this is no trick or trap. The items I speak of ARE INDEED banned by The Counsel for sale to any within the realm.
Again, I reiterate, I exist on the Mundane realm which has no knowledge of magic, The Counsel has no authority here, and therefore the sale is not restricted. This would be a gray market transaction at worst, though I prefer to think of it as supporting the arts. This means, items you created that are no longer useful, didn't work as intended, which you would have to pay The Counsel for proper disposal of... may be able to be sold to me instead.
As our realms have no trade connection our currencies are worthless to one another and this being the mundane realm, I cannot provide you with magical ingredients. I can however pay you in food and our mechanical technology has surpassed your realm's by far out of pure necessity.
Again, the items of interest are those that transform the recipient in any way. Body alterations, animal, age, gender, even personality or sexual proclivity... I understand those transformations may seem like punishments to you or taboo by your culture, but as it is not possible here to simply change those things there is a market of people who desire that for themselves in this realm...
Please do reconsider my offer.
Kindest Regards,
John
Wizards? Realms? Magical Contraband? Jake peered intently at the computer but realized this must be some kind of joke. Poking around more he found a detailed set of subfolders documenting items, pictures of them, the world the item came from, who he got them from, and their magical properties?
Armchair of entrepreneurial drive - Item inspires a driven mindset towards starting or enhancing a business or side hustle. Trigger - desire to give up on something. Flaw - countless nights I've been ready to call it a day or had elsewhere to be but as soon as I decide to go I find myself flooded with the drive to keep working... Terrible for social life, sleep, and outside obligations. Great for business. Attached were pictures of the chair Jake was sitting in.
Jake wanted to look up other items he's seen but didn't know who or where they came from so he used the folder search typing in Motorcycle Jacket.
Chelbry - Cursed Motorcycle Jacket - Item will remove skill, knowledge, and interest of motorcycles from original owner and bequeath it to new owner permanently. Personal note: Chelbry said this item came from her ex, knowing her, the recipient might receive more than just motorcycle skills. Beware a woman scorned and all that.
Jake smirked, so in one realm Uncle John is offering food as payment, while another realm has motorcycles and magic? Jake noticed the camera and looked that up. Sure enough, "Camera of true seeing - Items that alter history cannot alter images taken with this enchanted camera even once digitized. Example" The word example was a hyperlink to another item's subfolder.
Burlying Pipe - Cursed - Intended to add muscle mass and promote body hair growth. Was commissioned by a young man who wished to change in those ways and appear tougher and refined but never returned with full payment. Side Effects: Causes rapid aging, tobacco addiction, weight gained is not purely muscle, alters history, and once item is activated it is nearly impossible to stop using without constant vigilance.
Jake recognized the pipe, it was the one he was playing with a few hours ago when he first got to the shop. What followed were a series of pictures of Uncle John. He looked to be much younger than now, but the first photo was just from a few months ago, he looked to be around the same age as your dad. John was flexing an already sizable muscle with a huge grin with the pipe in his mouth, no doubt anticipating a rapid ascension to body builder physique. On the picture was scrawled, "Not noticing any changes, been at it for a few days."
The next image was dated several days later, John looked much grayer and it just listed "AGE: 47", he wasn't smiling but did look buffer but less lean and his shoulders were coated in hair. The image from the next day showed "AGE: 50 stopping" the final image dated 3 weeks ago "AGE: 55 cursed, needs containment" and he looked as you remembered him.
"That's ridiculous..." taking a heavy drag from the pipe. That would mean that rather than being the much older brother, he would have been the much younger brother? Jake picked up the picture he took this morning... and exhaled heavily... "Fine, let's find the bathroom and see."
Jake made his way to the restroom picture in tow. He flipped on the light and saw his normal face. His stubble was coming in heavily for having shaved this morning but that's normal for him, he takes after his uncle. The pipe hanging from his mouth was a surprise, but why should it be, he's been secretly smoking for the last two years after all. He shirked off the jacket and looked at his athletic frame, that all seems normal. He didn't notice the mechanic rag falling out of his pocket. His pecs pressing against the thin t-shirt. Same as ever. Handsome and muscular 18 year old. Check.
Then he looked at the picture he took of himself this morning. No facial or body hair, that arm tattoo is new but might be from the motorcycle jacket, and my frame used to be weedy... used to as in three hours ago... "Oh Fuck. This is insane."
Jake quickly set the pipe on the counter top, put the motorcycle jacket back on, turned off the light, and exited the bathroom thinking he left the pipe there but it was back in his mouth since he was distracted thinking what his next move should be...
"Is curse removal a real thing? I should take a picture, add to the documentation... Uncle John will know what to do if I'm not his age by the time he returns. Shit..." Jake's thoughts were racing, 'It seems to be effecting me faster, or more, maybe its just me, or because I am so much younger than John to begin with, or that I was in the middle of puberty? With any luck this is the end of it... if not, hopefully it will slow down.'