Compared to humanity, the Ahn'Ger Stone was patient. It could wait for decades, even centuries between owners, but today, after Bill Strasserman inadvertently found a way around the gemstone's ulterior motives to spread chaos, to actually improve upon his lot in life instead of destroying it, the intelligence within the stone had to change plans.
For once, it had to actively recruit fresh blood to stumble upon it, for it realized that young master Strasserman eventually would have noticed the hole in the bottom of his backpack, would have rediscovered the Stone laying in the hallway, and would have placed it inside a lockbox for safekeeping, never to be used again. This future could not be, hence its reaching out to Eugene Kazinski.
**
Eugene stared at his reflection in the mirror, aghast at what the wishing stone had done to him. He was no longer himself. Hell, he was no longer even at Shermer High. This bathroom was far too clean to be his utility closet.
"Oh my..."
The blasphemy was cut off.
"Eve, get your butt out here!" exclaimed a teenage girl as she forced herself inside the Ladies restroom of McFly's, and dragged Eugene out with her. Still in shock, Eugene followed the girl dragging him by the hand to a small table that nonetheless had six chairs and four other teenagers sitting there.
"Sorry, Eve" apologized the girl, letting go of Eugene's now soft, tiny, feminine hand, which he felt immediately embarrassed by. "I just wanted to let you know our food was here. We've only got a few minutes before we've got to go."
"Go?" asked Eugene in sheer confusion, as he brushed a lock of shiny red hair out of his face. In front of him was a large cheeseburger, which he took a cautious bite out of."
"To play practice! Come on, Eve, don't tell me you've memorized all of your lines already?"
"Yeah, Eve. Not everyone's naturally great at everything like you are" snarked another girl, this one tall and blonde, and sitting next to a good looking, if rather nerdy boy.
"Wait!" yelled Eugene louder than he had meant to, in a voice that was unmistakeably not his own, in a body definitely not his own. Everyone at the table looked concerned.
Eugene had never asked to be turned into a pretty teenage girl! To be fair, he had grown up into a fairly superstitious man who believed in all sorts of weird things, but this was beyond the pale. He made a wish with that stone out of sheer frustration with his life. It had been a child's prayer. A fool's errand. A one in a trillion, wishing upon a star type deals. He didn't actually expect his angry wish to do anything, even with that light show the stone gave off. Where was he? Who was he? Who were all of these kids acting so friendly towards him? He recognized their faces around the school, but didn't know any of...
Oh no! He did recognize one of them! The dark haired girl! The one who started all of those rumors about him!
"What's your problem, little miss perfect?" asked a sulky Gloria Vanapoulous. "Is the robot short circuiting?"
"Gloria, knock it off. I think I know what's going on" answered the nerdy looking boy. "Eve is just really stressed out. I mean, look, she's got a lot on her plate. She's cheerleading captain, she's the valedictorian, she does all that charity work, she's probably going to be prom queen, and she's going to be moving soon to go to Stanford. All that, AND she has to deal with you? It'd make anyone jumpy."
Eugene took all of this information in, but it was so much to handle at once that she didn't know how to react. He took another bite of this girl's bacon cheeseburger. A drop of ketchup fell onto the yellow top she was wearing, which Eugene discreetly licked with this girl's fingers.
OK, so he clearly needed some time alone to figure out what the hell was going on. He didn't recognize the name "Eve" matched any of the students who attended Shermer High, and he sure as heck didn't recognize the redheaded vixen staring him in the bathroom. Yet, he couldn't believe that this "Eve" and he were the same person. He couldn't believe that reality has been altered. That stuff only happened in comic books!
Another boy, this one also fairly good looking with dark skin and dark hair who up until now had been casually munching on some curly fries, finally spoke up.
"Maybe Gloria should play Patty Simcox. That way, Emily can pick on her the entire show and get away with it since, hey, it's in the script."
The girl to Eugene's right giggled a little bit. Gloria huffed.
"So anyway", said the girl, apparently Emily, "I guess we'll be going now. Thanks for the burgers, Joanna. By the way, so cool what you did earlier, standing up to Rob Bolstrum like that, in front of God, and everybody."
"Don't mention it" smirked the blonde Joanna, who this entire time had her right hand playing with Bill's junk. "Anything for my Bill!".
Emily grabbed left Eugene's hand(Eugene meanwhile holding desperately into the Ahn'Ger Stone with his right), and both girls gently glided out of McFly's with the boy, who Eugene learned was named Rod.
Eugene couldn't have been more conflicted.
**
"God, I hate her" muttered Gloria the moment the three teens had exited the long running Shermer diner.
"Couldn't have made that anymore obvious."
"Fuck off, Bill. I've got a reason to be upset."
"Nobody likes being second best, I understand your concerns completely" replied Bill, a smug grin on his face.
"I am not second best to that little whore."
"Gloria, the only thing you're better than Eve Kazinski at is breaking up with people and mommy issues."
Gloria looked furious at that comment, with reminded Bill of something. He subtly nudged Joanna to let go of his junk for a minute. He grabbed his bookbag from underneath the table, and dug around through his belongings for the Ahn'Ger Stone, his gateway to the good life he was now living in. He didn't want to use it right now, he just wanted to be sure it was still in his possession.
It wasn't. Upon further inspection, he found the hole in the bottom of the bag, a hole large enough for the stone to slip through.
Underneath the table, the teenage boy's eyes bulged out in anger and fear. Who had it?! He nearly banged his head on the bottom of the table, distracted by this new concern.
Once he got out from underneath the table, Gloria slapped him in the face mildly.
"You pig. Never talk to me like that again. I don't care who your girlfriend is. Nobody insults me without leaving on a stretcher."
Bill briefly touched the stinging red hand-shaped mark on his skin before changing the subject to more important matters.
"Did...did either of you see a green gemstone laying around here?" he asked with genuine nervousness in his voice for the first time since this morning.
"Oh, like the one Eve was holding?" asked Joanna innocently. "Why?"
"It's...it's important. It's a family heirloom, and I have to go get it back" stuttered Bill, lying, now single minded on getting it back into his hands. He knew that Eve, Emily, and Rod were back at school by now. He had to get there, fast!
Giving Joanna a quick peck on the cheek, he said "I have to go to school and get it back. See you two later."
Then he ran out the door.
Once he was out of the sight, the two girls turned to one another out of concern.
"I think he's cheating on you" replied Gloria obliviously.
**
As Bill ran the the mile and a half back in the direction of Shermer High as fast as his legs could carry him, the trio of Eugene, Emily, and Rod were currently practicing for the school play, which this year was going to be Grease.
Emily was playing Betty Rizzo, Rod was Danny Zuko, and to Eugene's horror...he was supposed to be playing Sandy.
As he was finished getting dressed in the changing area, humiliated at wearing a very girlish looking 1950s blouse and skirt set, Eugene looked at the stone in his hand that did all this.
"I wish I were a man again!" he whispered quietly.
Nothing. Not even a flicker of light passed by the gemstone's reflective surface area.
"I wish..." he whispered again, but was cut off by Emily once again.
"Eve, relax. You're going to do great! You have a great singing voice, and you and Rod have awesome romantic chemistry together. Here, I'll just put this rock right here in this drawer. It's pretty, where'd you get it?"
"I" stuttered Eugene. "I found it laying around on the floor at school.."
"ACTORS ON STAGE! ONE MINUTE WARNING!" announced the drama director Ms. Barry.
"Tell me later! Here, put on your wig" muttered Emily quickly, grabbing the thing and shoving it on Eugene's head. "PERFECT! Now you're Sandy. C'mon, let's go..."