"It is," concurred Asher. "You're a real gentleman, do you know that, Benjamin? I'm so grateful that we met all those years ago in boarding school."
You opened your mouth to agree with him, but more memories flared up and distracted you. Filling your mind with remembrances of attending classes with Asher. Playing cricket and football with him. Holding hands with him. Eating with him. Catching all your favorite programmes on the telly together...
As you burrowed deeper into the haze that was your past, Asher started to rub your back. It felt good. He knew all the best ways to touch you. He always did.
You continued to reminisce. Only snapping out of it when his hands trailed further downwards and gave your buttocks a firm squeeze. Your belt felt tighter all of a sudden, and you got jolted back into reality. "Terribly sorry about that, I guess this whole moving business is making me feel nostalgic today," you said with a sheepish look on your face.
“Think nothing of it,” said your boyfriend. Looking at you with love and adoration as he gave your plump bottom another squeeze. You felt even more hot and bothered than before, and you were dabbing at your fur with your monogrammed silk handkerchief.
"N-now now, A-Asher, let's head on b-back to my place." You took a deep breath, and your genteel demeanour took hold once again. "You'll find that my home is a far cry from that old flat I used to live in."
"The one near the pub? The one with the most amazing Yorkshire Puddings?"
You licked your dark badger lips and nodded. Recalling that scrumptious traditional English cooking those boorish Yanks were always so eager to mock. Talk about casting pearls before swine, but how could people that thought ranch dressing was delicious, and that pizza was its own food group know any better? You almost pitied them.
After a posh “hmmph,” you reached into your blazer’s inside pocket and checked the time, courtesy of a golden pocket watch. “Why look at the time, my darling. We really need get a move on or its going to be the couch for you.”
Holding hands, you walked on over to your house. After knocking on the door a few times and ringing the bell with no reply, you gave Asher an apologetic shrug. Thankfully, you always kept your keys with you; they were a sound fit and you stepped inside.
You immediately wrinkled your nose. Your whiskers bristled. This wasn’t right! This was all wrong!
The telly was playing some handegg commentary, something about the “Sous Chefs” and the “Pigeons” or some-such. You shook your head in disgust as your keen senses took everything in. The smells in your home were wrong. The looks were wrong. The sounds were wrong. Everything was improper!
“Mum? Mum? Hello, Mum?” You walked into the kitchen, and your mother gave you a startled look. Like she didn’t recognize you.
“Are you one of those badgers from next door?” She said in a worried tone. Clearly not expecting any company.
Your ears gave a nervous twitch. You were expecting your mother to recognize you and your boyfriend. She always let him stay over. What had gotten over her? “It’s me, mum. Why’re you acting like this?” A waver had entered your voice and you tried to downplay it by clearing your throat.
She raised an eyebrow. Looking at you like you were a complete stranger. “I don’t understand. I don’t have a…”
Asher had to step in. He knew your heart would break if your mother finished that sentence, and he wanted to spare you that pain. He put a clawed finger on her lips, shushing her. Calming her down. As she stood perfectly still, he turned back to look at you.
He could see that you were breathing slowly. Heavily. You had to keep a stiff upper lip. You just had to keep a proper, stiff, upper lip. You blinked back the tears. You were a gentleman, and you just couldn't lose your composure like this. As you struggled with your emotions, you could feel your boyfriend's soothing touch.
Asher stroked your whiskers. Calming you down as the hairs he was petting grew longer, bushier, and thicker. “How about you go to the loo, Benjamin, and freshen up? Everything will be right as rain in a jiffy. I promise.”
You leaned forward and gave your boyfriend another tender kiss. What would you do without him? He would sort everything out. You knew this was just all one big misunderstanding as you went to the WC.