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Mad Science

Dan's Crib

Dan’s voice sounded over the baby monitor on Greg’s nightstand.

“Greg, I need to get out! I have to go number two!” Greg, fully awake, waited for a bit longer. Soon enough, there was a loud fart. Dan’s shouts stopped. Greg left his room and headed for Dan’s. He yawned as he opened the door, pretending he had just woken up. Dan stood in his crib, scowling at Greg. His training pants sagged under him, full of poop. “You were too late!”

“Sorry. You know how much of a heavy sleeper I am,” Greg said. He lifted Dan from the crib. “Maybe you should start wearing nighttime diapers.”

“Maybe you should start waking up easier,” Dan snapped. “Or maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to sleeping in a damn crib!”

“Hey, it’s for your own safety,” Greg said as he carried Dan to the bathroom to be changed into a fresh pair of training pants. “You kept falling off your bed!”

“Yeah,” Dan mumbled. Greg wasn’t exactly proud of the method he’d used to get Dan into a crib. He’d carefully nudged Dan while asleep until he fell off the bed. After enough times, Dan was actually the one to suggest it. Dan still had a small bruise on his forehead from the last time he fell off the bed. But Greg reasoned that it was for the greater good. Dan couldn’t get out of the crib on his own, so he needed Greg to get him out in the mornings. And Greg could take his time, thus resulting in Dan having an accident.

Dan was silent as Greg changed him. Finally, he spoke up.

“You know what? You’re right,” he said. Greg raised an eyebrow curiously.

“About what?” Greg asked.

“About diapers. I think I should wear diapers…”


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