Jeff looked at Scotty, and could see by the set of the blonde jock’s face he was determined. “You already kissed me anyway, back in the locker room,” Jeff tried to dismiss casually, his cock twitching a second time and starting to get hard. It was starting to get difficult for him to concentrate again. He had some vague impressions, memories and visions of his real life before using the Chronivac, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t gay there, so why was it becoming harder and harder to keep his other life – his real life – straight in his mind? (I mean look at him… Scotty is gorgeous) “So whatever you think a kiss is going to tell you, you already know from that.”
“The kiss where I knew something was wrong and asked you what?” Scotty asked. He sighed. “I could tell something wasn’t right… And locking lips for a few seconds with someone guarded isn’t what I have in mind. I meant tonight, just the two of us, something more intimate and safe – but no sex – I promise not to do anything you don’t want to and will completely respect your boundaries.”
Jeff searched Scotty, and something told him that he could trust him.
“Let’s say you’re right, and this Chroni-thingy is real, and everything you told me is real,” Scotty continued.
“Chronivac, and it is real – all of it,” Jeff assured him. Damn, he thought, his blue eyes actually sparkle.
“IF it’s real, then I need do know it’s still my boyfriend in there,” Scotty looked him in the eyes. “I’m going way out on a limb here, I mean most people would just dismiss you as either playing some kind of game or just being nuts. You know that, don’t you?”
Jeff sighed, forcing himself to look away from Scotty – the hot jock was starting to seriously interfere with his ability to think straight again, and he had to adjust himself because his cock was committing mutiny for a second time, and making his life harder in more ways than one. But thinking about it, he couldn’t deny how crazy he sounded, as much as he hated it. Most people would lock him up and throw away the key. “Yeah. I get how it sounds. I do.”
“So you owe me that. IF – and again I stress ‘if’ – IF it’s real, then I need to know you’re the man I would do anything for. And I can’t know that unless you willingly open yourself to me, and don’t hold back like you did in the locker room.” Scotty watched Jeff quietly, searching his boyfriend’s big brown eyes for some hope, for something to hold on to that would reassure him that this man wasn’t going off the deep end. Maybe it was the dark secret he mentioned. Scotty tried to get him to open up and tell him what it was, but he knew better than to press Jeff. He knew if he tried too hard, Jeff would clam up and start deflecting him with humor – he was a master at that. Maybe whatever that secret was, was responsible for how Jeff was behaving now. If there was some kind of trauma, some reason for all of this, then at least there could be some hope to get to the bottom of it and resolve it.
“And what if you kiss me and decide I’m not him – not your real boyfriend? Than what?” Jeff asked. His brown eyes had been anxious since that moment in the locker room when they last kissed.
“Then if we find TransDem Labs and it’s all true, I’ll know you’re not him and I’ll do all I can to help you to revert things, so I can get my boyfriend – the real one – back in that body where he belongs, and you back in your body so you can get on with your own life.” Scott looked at his boyfriend, wanting to hug him and kiss all of this madness away. “And if it IS you, then you already know I would do whatever I could to help you. No matter who you claim to be before, you must have some memories of the last ten years I’ve known you and the last two years we’ve been together.”
Jeff shook his head in agreement. Even though it felt like he had two sets of memories in his mind, everything he knew about Scott affirmed that he truly loved Jeff and really would go to the ends of the earth for him… even pop out of existence for him so he could get back to his real life. Which made all of this so much harder. Jeff hated that he had messed so many things up with just the press of a button, just in the name of ‘having fun’. “I know… It’s true.”
“If it is you, I will do whatever you want,” Scotty assured him. “Even if it means…” The big strong jock’s voice broke… but then he inhaled deeply, and continued. “Even if it means losing you. Because that’s what love does – it sacrifices everything when it has to.” He took Jeff’s hands gently in his own. They were big, strong, and calloused like his own, but they belonged to the man he loved, and he always loved holding them. “I’m trying really hard here, taking this seriously, even though I don’t understand how it could possibly be true. Maybe I’m losing my mind too… But I’m trying. And the idea of losing you wrecks me inside. But if it’s all true, then you being trapped here and always longing to get back to your real life, then that would be even worse.”
Jeff couldn’t hold back. He lifted Scotty’s hands up to his lips, and kissed them softly. He could see why a gay version of him would fall in love with this man. All man, all savage football warrior on the outside, but the soul inside was simply beautiful. It made him almost wish he was just crazy and would snap out of it so he could stay with this sexy football jock. Almost. “I can see how the right person could easily fall hard for you,” Jeff’s smile was bittersweet. “I hope he’s out there for you, I really truly do. I hope when I go back, he’s here again for you.”
Scotty touched the side of Jeff’s face gently, for just a moment, then set his hand back on the table not wanting to push too hard. “If TransDem Labs turns out to be some kind of prop or toy company, can you maybe consider that you’ve just been working too hard lately – and even think about maybe getting some help?” Scott held his breath, waiting to see how Jeff would respond.
Jeff thought for a moment. He knew he had used the Chronivac, he clearly remembered – didn’t he? The memories kind of swam in and out of clarity, like fish in murky water. It seemed like the longer he was here, the harder it was getting to see his other life – his real life, he reminded himself. There was no way he wasn’t right. And even if he was, he had a man who loved him here, and who he was falling head over heals for even in this very brief time… it could be a good life, he reasoned. But of course he wasn’t wrong, he reassured himself (yet was that increasing doubt he was feeling? Was he crazy? The more he thought about it, the more that this idea that a kid could buy a magical device off of the internet powerful enough to reshape one’s self and even all of reality… it seemed far-fetched, didn’t it?)
Scotty searched Jeff’s face, still waiting for some kind of reaction. The young man was so dark and handsome. There was something almost primal about him that Scott had always loved. He just wanted to hold him and kiss him again. “Earth to Jeff?”
“I heard you,” Jeff slowly responded. “I was just thinking.”
“I know how hard that can be… for us jocks,” Scotty tried bringing a little levity to what was so difficult a conversation.
Jeff actually laughed. He looked back up at the quarterback. “Yes,” He finally answered, with certainty. “If you’re right, then yes I’ll get some help. After all, I wouldn’t want to start going around slaying imaginary dragons or fighting windmills,” Jeff smiled.
Scotty grinned at the Don Quixote reference from AP English Lit. Then added with a wicked gleam, “Or riding me around like a donkey and calling me your stallion. HEE HAW!” Scotty brayed playfully, and both boys gave in to much-needed laughter together.
“So tonight we kiss, and tomorrow we start looking for TransDem.”
“Agreed,” Jeff assented. Then added with a wide grin, “Donkey.”