By the end of his shift, Nate was the proud new owner of "Attribute Modified: Donkey Ears (100%)." They felt positively massive in proportion to the rest of his head. They wouldn't stay still either. Every time he had a new thought or was startled by something, his ears would twitch and perk in a whole new direction.
He and Five finished their trash duty as the work day wrapped up. The shorter donkey wrapped an arm around Nate, squeezing him tightly.
"You did good today kid!" He brayed excitedly, "Let's hit the showers. You've got your first full day ahead of you." He grinned, "Meet back here at seven am sharp."
"Hee haw, yessir." Nate nodded. He glanced down the basement hall, seeing some steam billow out of a communal shower. "I think I'm going to go hide my note first. I'll see you there." He gave his new supervisor a buck-toothed grin.
Nate looked for a place to hide the post-it note that he had written his real name on. It was hard to imagine him forgetting such a vital part of himself, but Five seemed pretty adamant about it. Plus he was going around letting people call him "Five".
Nate popped open one of the break room lockers. Lockers were safe, right? He thought about putting the note in there, but- He had a whole apartment to store important things in. What was he thinking?
Of course... he didn't have his bus pass anymore. Still, it wasn't hard to sneak onto the back of a city bus. Nate felt like he had done it dozens of times before. He was a bit of a delinquent in this new world of his.
Nate snuck past the showers and scurried to the back of the bus. He prayed the bus driver wouldn't catch onto the fact that he hadn't paid or that he wasn't wearing shoes. People on the bus gave the half-donkey man a wide berth, but no one looked at him like he was a strange alien sighting. Apparently donkeys existed outside of the Paper Corp offices now too.
He got home to his apartment and managed to get inside with the key under his door mat. Nate couldn't help but feel... strangely unsettled. He wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to be doing at this point, and no one was ordering him around. Eventually he peeled out of his jumpsuit and made some dinner. Nate thought about emailing some of his friends and family and explaining what was going on with him, but the act of using the computer felt a bit daunting. Surely Paper Corp would reach out to them at some point?
Eventually Nate just ended up turning the TV on. It was easier to just zone out for a few hours. He finally decided to go to sleep and flopped down on his nice comfy bed.
Nate had the strangest dream. He was out in the countryside, and he was galloping so fast he could feel the wind in his mane. He wanted to linger in that moment forever, so naturally his alarm went off.
"Haw!" Nate woke with a start. His braying outburst didn't even let him hover momentarily in a post-sleep hazy afterglow pretending that perhaps yesterday hadn't actually happened.
He reflexively reached over to take his phone off its charger, but he didn't have it anymore. It dawned on him how odd it was that the Chronivac didn't need charging, but that was what low power mode was for he supposed.
It was about that time that he noticed several messages stacked up on his watch.
"Attribute Added: Donkey Mane."
"Attribute Modified: Vegetarian Diet."
"Attribute Modified: Increased Weight (25lb)."
"Language Added: Braying."
"Language Downgrade: English (Intermediate) Set As Second Language."
Haw? Oh wow, these were quite the changes...! Nate ran his fingers along the back of his neck, feeling a forrest of scruffy fur. It was about that time that he realized his entire internal monologue was in a bestial set of brays.
"Haw...? Hee haw!" He didn't have anyone around to speak English for, so his bewilderment came out as brays as well.
He slipped out of bed, quickly walking over to his bathroom. He wasn't sure what to do about his braying, but he knew he wanted to see his mane. He flipped the light on and immediately stared at his mirror.
Nate's hair was now jet black. It pointed up almost like a mohawk, and continued down his neck. Haw! Woah, it continued down his back! He ran his fingers between his shoulder blades, feeling the fur trickle down his spine.
It was the weirdest thing. This wasn't a black version of his haircut. The mane didn't even seem to part in the same place as his old hair. This mane was an aspect of his fat donkey preset completely overriding a part of the old Nate.
Speaking of which, wow, he jiggled in places he wasn't used to jiggling. Nate pinched his stomach nervously as he turned in front of the mirror.
"I should ask Five how much he weighs," Nate brayed to himself curiously.
Just how much further did he have to go? As Nate looked down, he noticed his bare feet standing on the bathroom floor.
"Hey Owen," Nate lifted up his watch, "I assume you can hear me." He made sure not to impatiently tap the screen, "Would you mind doing my hooves next? I don't want to stand on my bare feet again all day."
The watch didn't respond. Sigh. He was expecting three months of getting to talk back and forth to the Chronivac. Owen his limits, Nate pushing back a bit. He wasn't sure how he felt about this silent treatment. Owen felt like he was on autopilot most of the time. Nate truly was out of control here.
Before he could dwell on it for much longer, there was a knock at the front door.
Nate couldn't remember the last time he had visitors. He almost walked to the door naked, but spotted his discarded jumpsuit from yesterday. He couldn't imagine getting anything else on over his tail in a hurry, so he just put it back on before answering the door.
The person standing at his door was a woman he hadn't seen before. She was wearing a sharp looking business suit and holding onto a clipboard with the TransDem logo on it.
"Hee haw!" He greeted her with a buck-toothed smile.
"Hello sir." She blinked, "Uh- Do you speak English?"
Nate blinked. "Haw?" He shook his head. Oh god. His English faculties were hard to access. Talking to this woman was taking a focused effort. "I mean, hello!" He waved nervously.
She stood up a bit straighter when she saw the watch dangle on Nate's wrist. "Ah, just the person I was looking to see! I'm Sally Cooper from TransDem." She cleared her throat gently, "Would you mind turning off your Chronivac for a moment?"
The idea of turning off his Chronivac had never occurred to Nate. He didn't even know where the power button was. More importantly though, what was someone from TransDem doing here?
"Haw, it's in low power mode." He poked at the non-responsive screen to demonstrate. Nate's ears went back, "Am I in trouble?"
She shook her head, "No no, not at all!" Sally held up her clipboard, "We're just checking in to see how you're finding the Chronivac 5 Pro subscription."
"Oh!" Nate's ears shot up, "It's... good? I mean, it worked." He turned in place gently, looking down at himself.
"I can see you're enjoying one of our donkey packages." The line was incredibly practiced. It was polite and nonjudgmental.
"Don't knock it till you've tried it," he blushed. Nate glanced at his apartment, "Would you like to come in?"
She shook her head, "No no, just checking in to make sure you're alright-"
The TransDem woman started to turn back towards the hallway, but then double checked something towards the bottom of her clipboard, "Oh, actually, there is one more question. Have you been using your Chronivac's interactive voice feature?"
Nate tilted his head, "Yes? I don't know how to use technology very well anymore. It's easier just to tell it what I want."
"Did your Chronivac claim to have a name Nate?" She dragged her pen along the clipboard, "Also, how would you rate your enjoyment of your Pro subscription on a scale of one to five?"
Haw? Nate wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he knew when someone was trying to pull a fast one. He had apparently done it plenty in his own time. She had quickly followed up an important question with something mundane so he didn't think about it too much.
Nate hadn’t told her who he was earlier either. He was too busy trying to figure out how English worked. She must really want an answer to that question to have tracked him down.
Was Owen not supposed to have a name? He glanced down at his watch. The AI seemed to be working fine the best Nate could tell. Then again, it had made Nate a bit of an idiot. (Although perhaps Owen had left him a bit more perceptive than he realized.) Maybe Chronivacs weren't supposed to be able to run in autonomous mode?
He suddenly had this mental image of handing over Owen to this Chronivac woman while they were both in his 30 foot radius. There's no telling what Owen would do to them! Or if this technician would just leave him in this state for that matter.
She had asked him two questions. He could At least buy a little time.
"Hee haw, what are my options?" Nate wagged dimly. Thankfully no one expected much of donkeys, and he doubt she knew how far along he was.
"One two three four and five. Five being the highest." She paused her patient explanation, “The best option.”
"Haw, five in that case." Nate nodded.
"Noted." She pretended to write on the clipboard, "So your Chronivac didn't claim to have a name then?"