"How many times do I have to say it!? I'M NOT EVE!" croaked Eugene in his husky new voice. It was far less pleasing to the ear than the lilting, angelic voice Young Eve had possessed five minutes ago, but it was still distinctly feminine in tone, as if Eve had spent the last forty years with a smoking and drinking habit. Eugene shook his head in frustration, genuinely feeling sorrow for the poor crying girl in front of him who had no idea what the hell was going on, probably terrified at the sight of her best friend having nearly aged half a decade.
Glaring in anger at the glowing artifact which had ruined his already paltry life, he jabbed his chubby index finger at it and demanded:
"I wish you'd help me for once!"
The Ahn'Ger Stone obeyed Eugene's command as it flared to life, bathing the women's bathroom in its emerald light.
**
Since Eugene had stared directly into the gemstone when it activated, he had been momentarily blinded by its ethereal beauty.
"Ms. Kazinski?" he heard Emily ask him as he blinked his eyes in rapid succession, gradually gaining his sight back.
"Emily, is that you? Oh no, I'm still an ugly old hag aren't I?" he asked, disappointed to hear that he still possessed his husky feminine voice.
He heard a few titters from a few feet away. One of the cheerleaders made a rude comment, causing Emily to speak up once more, telling the mysterious voice to shut up.
Eugene grabbed a hold of the sink's counter as he as was feeling dizzy, the weight of his chubby new breasts straining against the fabric of his top.
"Ms. Kazinski, are you OK?" asked Emily once again. The former janitor could hear that her tone sounded different than it had five minutes ago. Caring, but less intimate. Friendly, but somewhat distant.
"Emily, she's probably drunk" laughed the voice of Gloria Vanapoulous. "I've seen her carry around a flask of whisky in her little mop cart before. Just use the boy's bathroom."
"Are you sure?" asked Emily with a lack of confidence in her voice. "She looks like she's really upset about something."
"Maybe she woke up this morning, all excited to eat her three layer chocolate mousse cake all by herself, opened the refrigerator, and suddenly realized that she had eaten it the night before."
"Oh, stop that! Why do you have to be such a bitch?"
"Why do you have to throw off my choreography during practice?" countered Gloria spitefully.
As the two girls bickered, Eugene continued blinking, finally getting the last of the floaters out of his line of sight. He could finally see in the mirror that...that he was still female.
Damn it! he mentally screamed, struggling to not have another public freak out by slamming his fist on the counter.
He was still trapped as this old hag! He stared into the mirror at this woman, with her embarrassing looking jowls, her lipstick which looked just a shade too bright for her skin tone, her piggish looking green eyes, her fleshy untoned arms, her beach ball sized behind, and her large, unappealing body.
There were a few differences this time. His fading red hair was now tied back into a loose ponytail, as it had been during cheerleading practice. And he was clothed in his old work uniform!
Eugene slowly turned away from the bathroom mirror, briefly at the accursed artifact in his hand, and then towards the entrance, where Emily McLeod and Gloria Vanapoulous were both standing. His eyes trailed down to both of them.
"Ms. Kazinski, are you OK?" asked Emily with concern in her voice. "We heard you crying and screaming in here a few minutes ago. When we came to check in on you, you were staring all dead eyed at yourself. Is there something wrong?".
"Why do you keep calling me..." Eugene began, but then stopped.
He now realized what the gemstone had done. It had come to him all of a sudden, like an epiphany.
Emily didn't remember her.
She didn't remember her best friend Eve Kazinski, because this fucking stone had altered reality yet again! When he had made his last wish, he felt guilty for upsetting this girl who had no idea that Eve was an artificial construct, someone who didn't even exist a couple of hours ago. He had felt remorse for yelling at her, for pushing her, even if he felt she deserved it at the time, because she just didn't know.
That's why his wish changed him. Because he wanted her to forget.
Eugene didn't know where he had gotten that from, he just knew. It was an incredibly eerie feeling.
Now... apparently he was still Eve, but all grown up? Just great.
"I'm fine, Emily. I just had a really bad today" answered the former Eugene.
Emily cooed in empathy.
"What happened?" asked the girl, who seemed genuinely curious. "It must have been a really bad day for you to get all riled up like that."
"I...it's personal. Nothing to do with any of you. I'm just beat. I want to go home."
Emily smiled politely.
"Well, um, in that case, would you mind leaving so I can use the bathroom? I've been holding in my pee for two hours!"
"Uh... sure"
"Thanks!"
Emily ran inside the girl's bathroom and straight into a stall, locking it behind her.
Gloria stood by the doorway, a cruel smirk on her face. With a deep sigh, Eugene walked right past her into the hallway, wheeling out the mop bucket which had materialized along with him.
All of the other cheerleaders had already changed out of their uniforms and into their casual clothes. Most of them were chatting idly amongst themselves as they carried their gym bags, preparing to exit the building and into the school's parking lot for the car ride home. From the tidbits Eugene had heard, apparently the squad was going along with Shermer High's football team to Highland Meadows tomorrow for a big game. In the back of his mind, Eugene was at least grateful that he dodged that inevitable shit show. He had enough embarrassment today to last a lifetime.
Through the windows, it looked much darker outside than it should have been. In fact, it shouldn't have been dark out at all.
"What else did that damn Twilight Zone magic rock do?" he bitterly whispered in his softer voice.
Whatever it did, Eugene didn't have time for it. His watch, which had magically reappeared on his wrist, said that it was almost 7:00 P.M. He had a bus to catch!
He took the elevator down to his utility closet on the ground floor. Finding a pair of keys in his now more snuggly fitting custodian uniform, he opened the closet, shoved the yellow cart back inside, grabbed his coat and the novel he was reading, as well as a worn blue purse that had materialized out of thin air. He locked the door to the closet, and ran as fast as his new girth could carry him to the bus stop in front of Shermer High.
As he ran outside, he immediately felt assaulted by the rush of chilly autumn air.
"My god, it's freezing out here!" he complained as he jaunted the remaining fifty yards to the bus stop, his fading red pony tail flapping behind him.
When Eugene finally reached the stop, he took a deep breath, as this new body was winded, and he waited an uncomfortably long six and a half minutes for his bus to arrive under the ominous glow of an orange street lamp.
Once his bus finally arrived, Eugene blew a sigh of relief, just glad to finally be able to go home after the single weirdest day of his life. He hated being stuck as a woman, but he figured that he'd be able to think better and regroup after a long night's sleep. He stepped on the bus and swiped his pass, glad to hear the telltale beep from the swiper.
"Evening, Evelyn. How was your day?" asked Reggie the bus driver, who Eugene was friendly with.
"Pretty...good. Can't complain. By the way, do you know what date it is?"
"It's October 18th, ma'am."
Eugene's eyes went wide.
Son of a bitch
"Thanks."
Eugene went to sit down. He usually sat in the front of the bus, and that's where he decided to sit tonight as well.
The bus ride home was mostly uneventful. Eugene hated the alien feeling of his new body, how soft and fleshy and...wide it was, but he tried his best to just ignore it the best he could.
He also tried as best he could to ignore the creepy older guy who kept leering at him, licking his lips lasciviously. Eugene didn't recognize this guy, and didn't exactly feel safe around him. Thankfully, he got off five stops before Eugene's joke.
Eugene pulled the cord at his stop.
"Have a good night, Evelyn."
"You too, Reggie. Say hi to your wife for me."
"I will. Stay safe, ma'am."
Eugene bristled at the ma'am comment, but let it go. He was home. He was finally home.
Even though it was October instead of May, even though he was a woman instead of a man, at least his apartment building was exactly the same as he had left it.
He walked up the short flight of stone steps, entered the building, and climbed all the way up to his inner sanctum, the place where he could finally be alone.
He unlocked his front door...
Option 1: "Honey, you're home!" exclaimed a familiar voice, that of Evelyn's long time husband Ralph, the building's superintendant!
Option 2: "Mom, you're home!" exclaimed a pair of unfamiliar voices, Evelyn's children, as she is a single mother in this new reality.