Jack walked into the old shop, allowing his eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. The place was packed with curiosities in every niche and corner, and the smell of wood polish and incense permeated the air. The small, ancient Asian man behind the counter greeted him with a nod.
“What kind of shop is this?” Jack asked. He looked around, scratching his head.
“We sell many things,” The man smiled. “Many useful things.”
“Yeah, well, I just need a pack of condoms.” Jack was antsy to hook up with his date, and this was the only shop he could find on the way.
“No, no,” The man said. “You only need one. Special magic condom. Come with me.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so, gramps. I’m coming with someone else later, and that’s why I need it.”
“This way, this way,” the shopkeeper steered Jack by the elbow. “Is very special condom.”
“Yeah, if it works I’ll think it’s pretty special alright.” Jack followed the strange little man through the shop to a corner with various sex toys. He saw a huge 2-foot dildo, and touched it. “Yeah, this is realistic. All my friends are packing this.”
“You no want that,” the man said, and opened an old wooden box on one of the shelves in front of him, taking something out.
“Hey, if that’s a condom in there, I sure hope it’s not as old as the box – I need fresh and full proof, not some antique willie coats.”
“It work every time,” the man assured him, handing him a shiny little box. “You take. It work magic. You will like.” The ancient man smiled, nodding. “I promise.”
“Okay, whatever,” Jack took the little box, opening it up. Sure enough, there was a condom inside. It looked brand new and modern. “Huh. Well, I just need one tonight, so this will do, I guess.”
“Yes, will do,” the strange man nodded, smiling. “You put it on, and you will be very happy.”
“Yeah, that’s the idea, gramps.” Jack took his wallet out. “How much do I owe you?”
“One dollar.”
“Okay.” Jack pulled a dollar from his wallet and handed it to the man.
“Thank you.” The old man smiled, returning to stash his money in his ancient register. “You will be very happy.”
“Yeah, that would be good.” He walked out the door, the bell ringing after him.
“Very happy,” the shopkeeper called after him with a smile.