"So, what were you guys doing on Earth?" Rachel asked Charon and Remeila. She remembered meeting Chris and Mariana, a well-off couple who Maisy said were friends of her parents. They'd claimed to run an employment agency and invited Rachel and Maisy out to dinner to offer Maisy a job at their agency. Maisy had decided the job wasn't for her in the end, but both couples had ended up becoming good friends. Rachel had never guessed that Maisy and Chris could be related, let alone children of the Devil.
"Dad wanted us to make sure that Miasma was doing up there," Charon answered. "She's his youngest daughter, and he's always had a soft spot for girls."
"Really?" asked Rachel.
"Why do you think most witches are women?" Maisy asked with a smile.
"I think it actually comes from how we met," Lilith said, giving her husband's shoulder a loving squeeze. "He rescued me from my controlling ex-husband Adam and my boring life in Eden. He's been thoroughly feminist ever since. He's declared that his nine daughters will inherit the archduchies of the nine circles of Hell if anything should happen to their current rulers."
"Wait, you used to be human?" Rachel asked.
"One of the first two," Lilith laughed before taking a sip of the bloody wine. "But I left that life a long time ago. My human ex made an utterly dreadful impression on me. I asked to top him during... S-E-X..." Lilith glanced awkwardly at little Sariel. "...and he went ballistic. Believe me, I am much, much happier as a demon."
"I think I feel the same way," Rachel remarked, thinking of her father's abuse and homophobia. She turned back to Charon. "So you were checking on us?"
"Basically, yes," said Charon. "There's a lot of things that can go wrong up there, and Dad was wondering how your girlfriend hunt was going. No worries, I only told him good things about you." Charon winked.
"I guess you two don't really run an employment agency, huh?" Rachel asked, cutting of another bite of the peculiar local meat.
"Not exactly," said Remeila, "but we do run Purgatory, which is all about placing souls into the earthly lives they belong in. I guess you could consider it a sort of employment agency for reincarnating souls."
"I hope this isn't a rude question," said Rachel, "but isn't Purgatory a little redundant? I've heard that souls are already getting purified of their sins in Hell."
"That's not really what Purgatory is for," said Charon. "Yes, Dad takes care of punishing souls for their sins, but Purgatory is where souls gather to wait for their accommodations in Heaven to be prepared or for their reincarnation to be arranged."
"I don't actually know much about reincarnation," Rachel said. "My dad always dismissed it as unbiblical hippie nonsense. How does it work?"
"Well, some souls that have been released from Hell have sinned so badly that they are required to live a second life on Earth before they are allowed to enter Heaven," Remeila answered after swallowing a bite of the fruit she was eating. "Furthermore, a lot of souls in Heaven are very generous beings who eventually want to return to Earth to continue doing good deeds for their fellow humans. These souls come to Purgatory to meet with us. We discuss what kind of human life would most benefit their spiritual development before sending them to the Pool of New Beginnings. They then vanish from Purgatory into the bodies of new human children. All of their old memories retreat into their subconscious mind, only returning to the conscious mind once they die again and come back to the afterlife."
"It all takes a while to arrange, of course," Charon remarked, "considering how all of the millions of reincarnating souls have to consult with my wife and me before they can undergo the Ceremony of Rebirth. In the meantime, we give them lodging in the City of Crossroads and keep them busy tending the soul orchards."
"The what?" asked Rachel.
"That's where new souls come from," Remeila explained. "Too many humans are born for all of them to be reincarnations, so God tasks us with growing more of them. A soul plant is made up of woody vines that produce bunches of berries filled with a glowing essence. Once the berries are harvested, we smash them to free the essence. This ball of shimmering light is then sent to Earth to become a new human."
"Why do you think Sariel is so interested in plants?" Charon chuckled as he watched Sariel, who had gotten out of her chair, try to touch the face on one of the trees.
"You guys are such a cute family," Maisy giggled.
"You really are," Rachel agreed. "How did you two meet?"
"It all began with my fascination with humans," Charon explained. "I've always been fond of them and had a habit of sneaking off to see Earth."
"You always WERE a wild child," Lucifer chuckled.
"Comes with the territory of being the son of the first rebel," Charon laughed back. "Anyway, on one of my secret trips, I got as far as the First Circle when I was captured by an angelic raiding party and taken to Heaven in chains. Let me tell you, those angels were nothing like the cute ones humans put on greeting cards! They had bodies of golden flame, six wings, and bad tempers. They took me to Heaven and locked me in a cage on display in a city square as a public show of Heaven's supremacy over Hell."
"Then I saw him there and just felt so sorry for him," said Remeila. "I'd been told all my life that demons were pure evil, but I couldn't stand seeing the sorrow and fright in his eyes every time I walked past him. One day, I stopped and whispered some words of comfort to him. Before long, we were meeting and talking every day. Much to my surprise, I found myself falling in love with this caring, daring, handsome son of my Father's archenemy."
"And then I started rubbing off on her," Charon smirked jokingly.
"Very funny, Charon," Remeila laughed shaking her head, making her dark curls bounce. "What he means is that after about a month, I came to him at night with a key that I... errm... borrowed. We fled to Earth and lived together in Rome in the underground Christian community. We were even married by Pope Marcellinus. Dad eventually found us, of course. He was furious, but I managed to persuade Him that Charon wasn't what He thought he was. Before I knew what was happening, Dad and Lucifer were sitting across a table from each other drawing up a peace treaty! I guess true love really DOES conquer all."
"What can I say?" Lucifer laughed. "I want my children to be happy."
"I'll do my best to help, Your Majesty," Rachel said, glancing at Maisy.
"Well, it looks like dinner's just about gone," Lucifer said. "I'd call this first meeting a success, Rachel. You can check out your new suite of rooms if you like. Or perhaps Lilith could show you around more of the palace or the City of Dis?"