Lady Cruciata and her four Iron Knights sat in Lord Adrammelech's office, just across from the Grand Chancellor at his desk. Like most demons, he was quite a sight. He stood at nine feet tall, and his skin was blood red. He had the head of ears and hooves of a donkey and the wings and tail of a peacock, and his hands were like the talons of a bird.
"Are these the assassins your father told me about, Cruciata?" asked Adrammelech. "They had better be. They have the stink of Bibles and Qurans on them."
"They are, Lord Adrammelech," said Cruciata. "Father thought you could help them."
"Very well," said Adrammelech. He turned to face the knights. "Greetings. I am Lord Adrammelech Gloryfowl, Duke of the City of Malebolge, Grand Chancellor of Hell, President of the Senate of Hell, Keeper of King Lucifer's Wardrobe, and Knight of the Fly."
"Good evening," Rev. Church said rather formally. "I won't pretend we're friends, but I'll take whatever aid you can give me in killing the demon-fucking homosexual I somehow raised."
"Such unchristian language for a pastor," Adrammelech snickered. "Yes, I can help with that. First of all, I have a bit of magic to enhance your disguises. You may look like demons, but you do not yet fully smell like them. I have a spell that will makes your scents and auras seem identical to a demon. Lucifer himself won't know the difference."
Adrammelech got out of the seat and anointed the four men's foreheads with blood, smearing on a pentagram shape. He then began to chant in an ancient language that Rev. Church thought might be Akkadian. "There!" Adrammelech declared. "Now there isn't a single being in Hell that would ever suspect you of being humans. Even General Baal's keen senses will be fooled."
"Perfect!" Cruciata squealed happily, flittering her insect wings in excitement. "Where did you learn that spell?"
"I've worked with human agents before," said Adrammelech. "I Once employed some human witches as fall guys in a scheme to kill a less-than-amicable ex-boyfriend of my son Andrealphus. Now, there's a few things the Iron Knights here need to know..."
Adrammelech spent the next two hours informing the assassins on demonic politics, etiquette, customs, and key figures. "I'm sorry to take up so much of your time, but you need to know these things if you'll be posing as Infernal courtiers. Also, I've taken you the liberty of providing you some apartments in the palace. Cruciata will show you to them."
"If there's anything else you need, feel free to ask me, Archduke Beelzebub, or Lord Adrammelech," said Cruciata. "We're more than happy to provide as long as it brings you closer to taking out our mutual enemy. But I have to ask this of you, leave Princess Miasma alive when you kill Rachel. She's mine!"
"Of course," said Rev. Church, fully intending to break that promise if he could. "That Maisy whore's all yours."
"Good, because I want her for my wife," said Cruciata. "Tenebra doesn't deserve her!"
Rev. Church wanted to say something hostile about homosexuality and every woman needing a good husband, but he held his tongue. The Iron Knight knew better than to antagonize a more powerful ally. He was a crafty man.
"Now you four should go and do the jobs you legally hold thanks to Archduke Beelzebub's forged paperwork," said Adrammelech. "Rev. Church, go report to Beelzebub in the Ministry of Justice. Remember, your name is officially Dolor while you're here."
Rev. Church nodded.
"Rev. Cromwell, report to General Moloch in the Ministry of Defense," said Adrammelech. "He's in charge of the ministry while Commander Baal's busy investigating your disappearance from Earth. Thankfully, old Moloch is sympathetic to Beelzebub's political wing, so you can trust him with our secret. To everyone else, your name is Praelius."
"Got it," Rev. Cromwell said with a curt nod.
"Rev Mather, you're staying in here as my aide," said Adrammelech. "Remember, tell anyone you don't know that your name's Trebax."
"Understood," said Rev. Mather.
"Dr. Bashir, you'll be heading down to the Embassy to report to Hubal's office," said Adrammelech. "You are to tell Hubal (and anyone else) that your name is Hamsa."
"I will," said Dr. Bashir.
"Remember, don't look suspicious," Adrammelech advised. "You're being investigated by the best of the best. Show no hostility to Lady Tenebra or her mother. In fact, Any of you who haven't met them should probably befriend them. That should deflect suspicion."
"I volunteer," said Dr. Bashir. "Rev. Church never brought me over to visit. We had... theological differences. Besides, my official job as an ambassador's aide implies that I should be used to working around ex-humans."
"Excellent idea," grinned Adrammelech. "That should throw Baal and Michael off the scent for a while. Time to get to work. We have weddings to stop."