You didn't really think this gun thing worked. You'd mostly bought it as a lark, because it had a dumb name and would be something you could laugh about with your friends. Still, when you see the seventh condition, you roll your eyes, and then think of your sister. Just out of high school, she'd caused a bit of drama in your family by getting pregnant before even getting into college. It had made your mother mad, your dad indifferent, and had resulted in a lot of back and forth arguing about who was going to be raising it. The boyfriend had taken off. It was a lot, and you hadn't really paid too much attention to it, other than continuing to bug your sister like you always had.
And speaking of...
You take the 'breastinator' in your hands and go down the hall towards her room. She's laying on her bed, watching a rerun of some cheesy show on TV.
"Whatcha want doofus?" she asks in a bored tone.
"Oh, y'know...nothing much," you respond. "Except this!"
You take the breastinator out, aim it at your sister's belly, and pull down on the trigger. Most of the instructions had fled your mind already - so you pull the trigger down as hard as you can, hoping for some kind of light show or something.
But nothing happens - you simply stand there (still holding down the trigger), aiming it at your sister awkwardly.
She raised an eyebrow, looking at you. "Uh...okay...you got me?" she drones in a sarcastic undertone, holding up her hands. "Dork."
Frowning, you look down at the gun. Still nothing. You finally release the trigger, and shrug. "Whatever. I bought it off eBay," you explain. "It looked dumb...thought it'd be fun to play with."
She rolls her eyes. "Great use of your money there dumbass."
You flip her off and head back to your room, where you toss the 'Breastinator' off to the side. Perhaps you'll show it to your friends at school, but it's obviously just a dumb prop that someone wanted to get rid of for a pretty penny. Maybe it'd be good for a YouTube video or something. Or maybe you could sell it again on eBay, to some other schmuck. Eventually, the entire incident more or less fades from your memory. A few times you remember it, as you grow older and occasionally come across the 'Breastinator' again. The name always makes you roll your eyes, but you never really find an excuse to bring it out again.
And so time passes.
Eventually, your sister has a daughter, who she names Bronwyn. It's a pretty name you suppose. You occasionally babysit for your sister, and as Bronwyn grows older, you adopt a sort of teasing relationship with her, much like you have with your sister.
And you don't think of the 'Breastinator' again...
Until Bronwyn turns fourteen.
And then everything changes.