"So, where to next?" Erzulie asked Tori.
"Maybe Karnstein Manor?" Megan suggested hopefully.
"Not just yet," said Tori. "For one thing, I'd like to keep you a secret until you're safely in Japan with Fiona. Introducing you to Matriarch Carmilla wouldn't help with that. More importantly, I really need to speak with Renata."
"Remind me who she is again?" asked Megan.
"My other cousin," said Tori. "Aunt Kim told me that Renata's been dating a werevixen. A werevixen!"
"Is that ill speirins?" asked Fiona.
"Erzulie, could you crack open that Scots/English dictionary and tell me what the fuck she just asked me?" asked Tori. "I'd get it myself, but I'm driving."
"She asked if that's bad news," Erzulie said, flipping through the dictionary.
"Oh it's bad news, alright!" Tori answered. "Werefoxes are a bit of a 'special' breed of werebeast. They've got zero impulse control and next to no shame. They wander from place to place, sometimes doing odd jobs but more often stealing what they need. When they aren't stealing, they're either playing idiotic (and sometimes dangerous) pranks on their neighbors or seducing every hot piece of ass in sight. They break a lot of hearts, Fiona. Werefoxes love 'em and leave 'em."
"They can't help it," Erzulie clarified. "Their brains aren't wired for monogamy. The werefox mind is a ball of churning manic energy that compulsively seeks out new experiences and thrills. They're allergic to routine and the familiar."
"An' Renata's bein' wooed by yin o' thae werefoxes?" asked Fiona.
"Worse," Tori said darkly. "She's become a werefox! She's on a potion to restore her impulse control, but I'm fucking nervous, not gonna lie. I need to talk to Renata pronto!"
A few minutes later, they pulled into the Hamilton family's driveway. "What'll you tell her?" Erzulie asked her girlfriend.
"The truth," Tori said, nervously playing with her chaotic explosion of blonde hair. "I'll tell her that it's fucking stupid to date a heartbreaking rolling stone like this Ruby vixen and that it would be best to get Morgana to turn her back into a human."
"And what'll we do about Ruby and her skulk?" asked Erzulie.
"We watch them like hawks," said Tori. "The second those clowns put a single paw out of line, we chase them outta town."
"Harsh," Megan remarked.
"Nothing we haven't done before," Tori responded. "You'd understand if you'd ever met any. They're nothing but a nuisance who make every town they move into a little bit worse. They pester their new neighbors nonstop and contribute jack shit. Good thing they're fairly easy to get rid of. You just have to punch a few muzzles, and maybe fire a couple of warning shots into the air while telling them that it would be wise to move on. We might even leave them a little parting gift." She chuckled to herself.
"Like what?" Megan asked.
"Like Werefox Inhibitor Potion in their food," Tori smirked, "or even a cure for therianthropy if the bastards did some real harm in town. Werefoxes might not be bloodthirsty, but they don't really care if their stupid pranks get someone killed. I still remember that skulk up in Bangor, Maine."
"Whit happened?" asked Fiona.
"They lured a 7-year-old girl into the woods to get her lost," Erzulie said. "They figured it'd be funny. Well, they succeeded and the little girl died of starvation."
"When we confronted the skulk about the girl's death, the assholes just shrugged and said it was none of their business," Tori growled. "I was so fucking pissed that I had Erzulie turn them all into humans." She looked out the car window. "Well, no sense putting it off. Time to go in and talk some sense into my cousin."