Jessica Johnson and her friends, mostly classmates from her 1st grade class, had gathered outside in the front yard of her family's house, which had been decked out for her birthday; Her mom had told her that her babysitter Jamie had found a troupe of clowns to perform.
Jamie was so excited. As long as she could remember, she loved clowns and their funny antics, and how they made people laugh. She hoped when she grew up to become a clown herself and join the circus; she already knew a lot about clowns and most of the terms used with them.
Down the street circus calliope music was playing from a ridiculously small car (Actually Tucker's van that had been Chroniviced into a clown car) that pulled up into the Johnson family driveway. The music stopped playing and the driver's side door opened. Out stepped a jolly looking whiteface clown who looked too plump to be able to fit inside the car.
The clown looked at the throng of assembled children and laughed. "Hi, boys and girls," he said in a goofy voice and honked his big red nose. "I'm Tuck-Tuck, the magic clown, and with me is my partner Sunny-," a lady whiteface stepped out of the car, and did a curtsy, "and our assistants Bunny," and now an auguste girl with big pink pigtails came out and curtsied, a little more clumsily, "and Beeper." The last was a male auguste, who as soon as he stepped out, tripped on his oversized feet and somersaulted until he fell flat on his face, his nose making a big HONK! as it hit the ground.
All the kids, and the adults too, burst out laughing at the last clown's pratfall. Bunny (Miranda) helped Beeper (Alex) to his oversized feet. "Why don't you two," Sunny told the Augustes, "bring us the birthday girl?
Beeper and Bunny waddled among the children. "Are you the birthday girl?" Beeper asked one child, only to get a headshake.
"Are you the birthday girl?" Bunny asked another and got another headshake. The two clowns continued, asking the children i they were the birthday girl.
Each child they asked was a boy.
Finally, Jessica stood up. “I’m the birthday girl!”
“Wel, c’mon here then,” Sunny motioned. Jessica walked up to her, with the two auguste clowns waddling behind her. Sunny bent down and smiled at her. “You must be Jessica. Jessica nodded enthusiastically. “Well, I’ve got something for you.”
Sunny touched Jessica’s left ear and squeezed several times; several gold dollar coins fell out and into the clown’s palm. “Here you go," she said, giving the money to Jessica.
Sunny then turned to the assembled throng. “All right, we’ve got something special for you all tonight,” she laughed, then looked at Tuck-Tuck. “Let’s get out the Cabinet of Doom!”
Tuck-Tuck, Beeper, and Bunny all reached into the car and pulled out the components for the CoD-which were ridiculously large to fit inside such a tiny vehicle- and startled assembling them. Naturally they made a clown show of it with Beeper falling on his butt, releasing whoopi cushion sounds; a piece of Bunny’s dress catching on a board and her outer clothes falling off, or Tuck-Tuck making pompous and insulting but useless instruction before getting beeper turned and ‘accidently’ slapped him in the face with a board he was carrying.
Everyone in the yard burst out laughing.
Despite the comical ineptitude, the Cabinet soon got fully assembled. Sunny walked over in inspection, and said to the other clowns, “Well, you three may look like buffoons, you may act like buffoons, but that doesn’t fool me.” She looked at the kids, gave a noticeable wink and said in a VERY audible whisper, “They really are buffoons.”
And at that moment, seeing underneath the costume and what she thought was makeup, the truth dawned on Jessica. ‘Sunny’ was really her babysitter Jamie!
The female clown turned back to the birthday girl. “Well, Jessica, since it’s your birthday, you get to pick. Who will be the first victim for the Cabinet of Doom?”
Jessica looked at the throng of assembled children, teenagers, and adults. Finally, she decided on...