Bridget sat down after getting home and took the shopkeepers advice and made a list.
“Let’s see what do I want to turn this bastard into?” Bridget began to write for what
seemed forever until she came up with a list of traits to ensure that Brian would forever be
noticed as the clown he is.
THE LIST
Auguste
210 lbs.
Pale orange complexion
Bald on top
Blue hair circling the side of his head that stretches out halfway across his shoulders and curled into a bushy 'half-fro'
White patches over his eyes that stretch halfway up his forehead
White muzzle around his mouth that steches to his cheeks and halfway down to his chin
Lips are black and always in smile
Big black U shaped eyebrows on top of his white patches
Slight red blush on his cheeks
Eyes outlined in black with a vertical black bar over each eye
A big red nose the size of a tennis ball with nostrils so he can breathe normally
White gloves
A baggy yellow shirt with baggy blue pants and a blue vest outlined in red
Big red bowtie
Red and white striped socks
Big clown shoes with pancake toes, red wingtips and heels and blue saddles
Tiny yellow derby trimmed in red on top of bald head
When he sits down or falls his butt make sounds like a whoopee cushion
Shake his belly and calliope music plays
Can ride a unicycle that appears out of his butt
Knows every clown joke both practical and impractical
Joy buzzer built into his right hand
Squeaks when he walks
Can shoot confetti from his nose when he sneezes
His penis is a balloon he can make balloon animals with
Talks with a goofy voice.
Clumsy
Feels compelled to act more and more like a clown the more serious a situation is
Stomach can act as a trampoline
Hates to be a clown but compulsively acts like one. As time passes eventually gets lost inside the clown he becomes
“This will ruin his life,” Bridget smiled. She called Brian and invited him over that night,
saying she had an extra special surprise for him.