Charlene scratched herself. Damn lice. Miserable enough hauling water from the well every day. Nothing much to look forward to until she married one of the local louts and started having babies. Damn, men had it easy--at least free men.
"Huh, what's this?" Every piece of paper in the cabin went to some kind of use, even if it was outhouse use. But here was a piece of paper with writing on it Charlene had never seen before.
Question 1: If you were a guy... would your handwriting be neater?
When Charlene thought about what it would be like if she had been lucky enough to be born a man, she thought about being a lawyer, and she knew lawyers had to have good handwriting. Yes.
Question 2: If you were a guy... would you still like pink?
Sure, pink was pretty manly.
Question 3: If you were a guy... would your hair be straight or curly?
Straight. Charlene knew the rumors about guys with curly hair.
Question 4: If you were a guy... what would be your favorite color?
Blue.
Question 5: If you were a guy... what color would your hair be?
Black, I guess. BLACK, Charlene wrote.
Question 6: If you were a guy... what color would your eyes be?
Grey.
Question 7: If you were a guy... would you be strong?
Charlene snorted. Of course, doing the work I do.
Question 8: If you were a guy... would you be sporty?
Some, but I'd be focused on work.
Question 9: If you were a guy... what kind of shoes would you wear?
Charlene envisioned being a successful man. Handmade in the East.
Question 10: If you were a guy... would you like suits?
Successful men like lawyers and politicians wore suits. YES.
Question 11: If you were a guy... would you be manly?
Yes. Effeminate guys got no respect.
Question 12: If you were a guy... what size would your tallywacker be?
What kind of question was that? In proportion with the rest of me.
Question 13: If you were a guy... would you be fond of women?
Of course.
Question 14: If you were a guy... would you shave?
Give it a try, but I might grow a beard later.
Question 15: If you were a guy... would you use cologne or hair gel?
Nah, that's really kind of a dandy thing.
Question 16: If you were a guy... what type of shirt would you wear now?
Cotton, but I'd feel bad about it considering where cotton comes from.
Question 17: If you were a guy... would you be wearing undergarments?
Yes, Help keep me clean.
Question 18: If you were a guy... what would be your intelligence? One being stupid and ten being high enough to be the envy of a German professor.
8. That should be enough to get on in the world without being too head in the clouds.
Question 19: If you were a guy...would you be tall?
Tall, kinda lanky.
Question 20: If you were a guy... what would your name be?
The tall, strong, man hunched in front of the note smiled. Something not at all like "Charlene." How about something from the Bible? He wrote ABRAHAM LINCOLN.