My mind was awash with what just happened, I touched an area that I had dreaded to even look at ever since I had woken up in this body. It was horrifying, embarrassing, and most of all demasculating, as if I had finally confirmed my last bit of my manhood was gone. I could feel tears well up in my cheeks as I sat on my bed, which before had been comfortably snug, now seemed to feel like I was sitting on the edge of a massive swimming pool. Mom and Dad would probably have to buy my a new bed soon, as well as change the rest of my room. All my memories, all my accomplishments would be thrown away, and what would replace them?
I shook my head, feeling my hair sway across my shoulders with the motion and wiped my eyes, turning my focus to my television. Gaming had been my place of solitude, I spent so much time working with my clan to gain prestige and move up the ranks. Would any of them ever question what happened to me? My heart sank when I saw that the console had been removed, I could have sworn I saw it a few hours before? The image of the TV in the living room flashed in my mind.
When they moved it, I am sure they took away the ethernet cable, but then again they probably missed my hidden stash of cables, a small drawer that I kept all sorts of old chargers, USB cords, and of course the cheap headset that came in the original console box, and a separate ethernet cable.
Returning to the living room, I peek around the corner to find Dad asleep in the chair after a large dinner, with mom hard at work cleaning up everything in the kitchen. I quickly moved as stealthily as my little body could and snapped the ethernet cable into the console and booted it up, a moment later I had the TV on with low volume and was looking at a completely wiped console hard drive. All of those hard fought achievement points and game saves were gone. I paused for a moment to morn my now deleted account before redoubling my focus and went to work creating a new profile and downloading a battle royale.
The controller felt a bit larger in my hands now that I was gripping it. My feminine fingers could still reach the buttons, however I had to stretch just a bit more, grip the controller a bit harder, and put more effort into balancing the weight of it in my hands. It didn't matter though, the moment I was in the lobby for the match, I felt like my old self. I was not some eleven year old girl, I was the old me, on the cusp of being an adult, and ready to dominate.
"Everyone ready?" I ask with out thinking, tweaking the headset on my head as it keeps slipping.
"Who let the kid in?"
"Sounds like a girl."
"No way some one just has that annoying kid voice on."
"He sounds like my little brother."
"Some one kick him out."
My cheeks turn red in embarrassment, and I grip the controller with all the strength my little body can muster. "If you think I am a stupid kid, then lets see who has the biggest kill streak at the end of the match." I fire back into the mic. "Or are you afraid a kid is going to kick your... butt." My brain seems to stop me from cursing, as if doing so would bring down the wrath of my parents on me.
That was enough to quiet the other players, and a moment later the match begins and my muscle memory goes to work. I dive, jump, cut through the gaps between the houses. I snipe headshots, I kill with knives, and when forced in a corner I take out atleast two with the pistol. I don't win that match, I win the next, and the one after.
When I hear mom beginning to finish in the kitchen I quickly switch out of the game and into what ever game was loaded in the Blu Ray drive. My heart was hammering in my chest, a grin so wide it hurt my cheeks was spread across my face. For half an hour I was my old self again. "Make sure to go to bed in a few minutes and brush your teeth, I am going to go check on your brother." Mom kisses my forehead and leaves the living room.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice a direct message pop up on the screen. Luckily mom was out of the room and oblivious to the sound it made. I moved to open it and then paused, the name looked familiar, I could have sworn it belonged to one of my old clan buddies. Had they found out who I really was? No, it was impossible, and if they had I would be in so much trouble. Or were they looking to recruit, and fill my old spot.
I paused, unsure if I should even open it, or turn off the console and go to bed.