Today I am at the gym for weight training. As I raise the small dumbbells up and down, the fact that I could lift heavier weights in my male body does not bother me as much anymore; now I am more focused on the progress I have made with my new body. One month, and a half of gym is not too much in the grand scheme of things, but it’s enough to stop making me feel like a wet noodle every time I try to use strength.
As I continue my routine I feel my eyes wander around the gym, I see a woman doing squats and I cannot but notice how perky and thigh her butt is. In the past I would probably stare without even wanting to, but now I easily take my eyes off her. The only thing in my mind is if my bony ass would grow like that as I grow older
I see a man running on the treadmill wearing a shirt and shorts. He has been running for a while and his shirt is becoming drenched in sweat; from what I see from his limbs peeking from his shorts and sleeves, he has the type of body I wished to have when I was male, strong defined muscles without being overly bulky.
As I start to ponder what kind of muscles I will develop in this body, the man takes his shirt off and my gaze immediately zooms into his chest, I cannot keep myself from thinking how beautiful his hard chest is.
I try to focus on my exercises, but my gaze keeps wandering towards the shirtless running man. There is something about his moving muscles and fast breaths that keeps attracting my attention.
When I feel myself taking deeper gulps of air I stop my repetitions and take a moment to rest, but as I continue to stare at the man, I feel my heartbeats becoming faster and my nipples becoming harder, and I finally understand what is going on.
Dumbfounded, I stare at my feet for a minute. I want to feel repulsed about the fact that I was ogling a man, but I do not feel repulsed at all, only excited.
I start thinking about all the new hormones that my body is now producing and how they slowly but surely are making me become more and more feminine. I think about how this is only a small change among the many others that will come and try to accept it, but it’s too much. Taking away my arousal towards women and changing it to feel attracted to men is simply too much, too fast.
I quickly pack my stuff into my backpack, and run back to my house.
Thinking that it’s too fast to determine my sexuality from a single instance, I look in my laptop for pictures of half naked men and it doesn’t take too long for my body to start feeling aroused again.
Felling a dejected, but not giving up, I look for pictures of women in skimpy swimsuits, but although I can appreciate how beautiful and sexy they are, the feeling is not the same as before
Willing to try one last thing, I check on favorites under a bookmark with the fake name of “math problem samples” and click on one of my favorite lesbian porn videos from when I was a man.
At first, I thought that this attempt was going to end in failure as well. However, as I watch the girls kissing, sucking their breasts and rubbing their pussies together, I feel a part of myself waking up and I start to feel the familiar warmth.
Thinking that I am not prepared for more, I stop the video. Now that I know that I can feel aroused by women, the fact that I am attracted to men as well, feels more bearable. Like something was added instead of substituted.
******
“So, you consider yourself bisexual?” the doctor asked after I finished my recounting.
“I am not sure, I have confirmed that I can get aroused by both males and females, but I feel that my attraction towards men is higher.”
“Liking both genders equally is not a requirement to qualify as bisexual, as long as you are attracted to males and females you can consider yourself that”
After taking a gulp from her cup she continues. “Actually, this development does not surprise me too much. Studies indicate that women's sexuality is more fluid than that of men. If in the future, your sexual attractions change, please feel free to discuss it with me”
I nod and take a sip from my bottle of apple juice
“Anyway, am I correct to assume that you have not reached orgasm yet?”
I almost spat my drink. but manage to resist the impulse. “Why would you ask something like that!?” I say as I feel myself blushing
“haha, sorry for being so blunt.” she makes a hand gesture as if to calm me. “I asked because some people are reporting being more comfortable in their own skin after their first orgasm in their new body”
“Well, I guess after experiencing the… pleasures their new bodies can offer, people would feel better about the swap, but is it such a big deal to point it out like that? I asked, a bit puzzled.
“No, it’s not just a confidence boost or a placebo effect” the doctor says seriously. “We are still researching it, but as far as we know, it seems that strong feelings of ecstasy allow the body and mind to fine tune themselves and increase their synchronicity.”
“I see...” I say thinking about how it would feel; would I like that?
Lost in my thoughts, before I knew it, my time with Dr. Parker ended.