"Ew, Mariah, I'm eleven!" I said. I didn't mind her explaining things to me if I asked, and I might ask her sooner or later, but the thought of being in the room as my siblings, biological or not, touched themselves or each other weirded me out. I hadn't even begun to explore my sexuality yet beyond noticing I might find some guys hot. Although in a way I wasn't really an eleven-year-old girl, I had the body of one and my mind was enough of a young girl's to find the idea of being next to people, adults, having sex really awkward and gross. So I quickly left the room, closing the door behind me and retreated to my own room.
I was mad at Mariah for asking me, particularly while holding me back as I was already on my way out. I'd have to talk to her about my boundaries - a talk I should have expected from an older sister, not the other way around. I had watched porn and told her about it, but that didn't give her the right to try to ask me to watch her having sex. I thought about what Dr. Parker had told me about orgasms. I would definitely try that out at some point, maybe soon, but at the moment I didn't feel ready for it. And I'd explore my sexuality at my own pace.
To distract myself, I put on an episode of a popular pre-teen series I'd been watching for a few days. I mostly watched it to have something to talk about with my future classmates at school, but I was beginning to actually like it. A few minutes into the episode, I heard Mariah's high-pitched yelps through the wall. Apparently she'd decided to show John more than how to masturbate. As I started looking for my earbuds, I hoped her demonstration involved proper condom use, or that she was just pretending to have sex. Thankfully the noise stopped in less than a minute. Those two were really lucky our parents and Lucas weren't home. I really didn't want to think about what would happen if mom and dad ever found out. But from now on, if Mariah or John would go on my nerves I could always threaten them with exposing their secret.