Alice felt as if she'd sneezed, the white light vanishing in a sudden instant, replaced with a bright and sunny sky. But it looked a little odd... the sun hung like a cardboard cut-out. Green rolling hills were everywhere, in every direction as far as the eye could see, except... oddly, everywhere the hills had ridges, or there were walls, or abandoned carts... everywhere noticeably had somewhere where you'd be obscured from the waist down.
She took a few steps, slipping the remote into her pocket. "Hello?" she called, tentatively. "Ahhh!" She turned to the side, and a small green thing popped up from behind a wall. It looked like a puppet! Fuzzy all over, clearly made out of green felt, it had a wide mouth that opened like a hinge. It looked almost like a parody of a frog, with big bulbous bulging eyes of white felt, dotted with black pupils. It had two long raggedy arms of fluffy wool, operated by what visibly looked like sticks! She... she was in the Ogles! That kids show that only babies watched!
"Hello!" squealed the puppet. "I'm Poggle! Who are you?"
Alice peered closer, a smile on her lips. This was wild! "Uh, hi, I'm Alice. What are you out here doing, Poggle?"
The puppet bounced up and down excitedly. "Alice! You arrived right on time! I'm looking for someone to help me with the letter B!"
"The letter B!" Alice remembered this, every episode was centered around a letter, with the characters doing montages explaining words and colours and other concepts. This could be fun. After all, if the remote got her in, it could get her out. What harm could befall her on The Ogles, for god's sake. "Well, I'd love to help you, Ogle."
"Do you know any words that begin with the letter B, Alice?" Poggle asked, leaning his head to one side curiously.
"Well... there's bee!" Alice flinched again as something flew past, a bee puppet dangling from non-existent rafters swooping past her face and swirling around Poggle's head. The puppet comically flailed his arms, batting at the bee until it retreated stage right.
"Ah! So there is! B is for bee! Ooohhh... I was scared it'd sting me."
Alice reached out, patting Poggle's furry arm. "There, there, you were very brave."
"Awww, thank you, Alice!" Poggle looked up at her adoringly, for a millisecond she imagined it looked like he was developing a crush. But she thought it was a silly notion, he was a puppet on a kid's show. "I thought of another one! Do you want to hear it?"
"Uh-huh!" Alice said, subconsciously slipping into overexaggerated kid's show mannerisms.
"B is for beach!" There was a popping sound, and suddenly they were on a beach, sand between her toes. Poggle was behind a small sand dune prop, sunglasses perched on his nose. Blue cardboard waves bobbed up and down in front of her. And, jarringly, she was in a bikini! Not a lewd one, not on a kid's show, but a blue sarong tied around her waist, and matching blue bikini bottoms and a bikini top. It was still perhaps a bit much cleavage for children's TV.
Poggle's hand reached out, pointing. "Wh-what are those?" he asked.
Alice reacted on instinct, giving a TV show smile, almost gormlessly wide and overenthusiastic. "Well, that's another B! B is for boobs!" She bounced enthusiastically, and her breasts followed, jiggling even after she'd settled down.
"What are... boobs?" Poggle asked, head tilting again.
She couldn't stop herself, gesticulating at her chest. "Boobs are these. Girls have them, in different sizes. Mine are particularly big and bouncy, look!" She bounced them again, Poggle's eyes following them in circles until he looked dizzy.
"Gee whiz! Are there any other B words involving the boobs, Alice?"