"Hello everyone, and Happy 2024 from Animalia Ambassadoria." Said Miles, after he set everything up, "Since 2024 is only a week old," (an adorable picture of the baby new year) "We're going to be looking ahead to some future events this year and looking back to some of Animalia's events."
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"First off, we finally got the suspect who was leaving gold nuggets in one of Animalia's colonies in Northland." Miles began, bringing up the news stories, "As it turned out, he was an army veteran (though of the War against Terror, not Vietnam) who was a little worried about Animalians being forced into the military while also suffering from PTSD. As part of a plea deal (which was relatively minor since the only thing he did wrong was trespass on private property), he can get a double-dosed of his choice as long as he shows the Animalian Authorities where he'd been getting the gold nuggets." He then followed up with a brief history lecture on how Australia was 'promoted' from a British penal colony due to the discovery of gold.
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"Speaking of crime, the APD, Reno PD, and FBI are in a real pickle with this next one." said Miles, equally confused about it, "Apparently, someone who was tagged as a reckless driver, with a stolen car, actually had something else planned. Though most of it is classified at this time, this was what we can talk about: According to him, and his girlfriend hiding in the back seat, both of them had witnessed a group of jewel thieves targeting either a jewelry store or a jewelry collection, and, in a fit of 'being in the wrong place at the wrong time', the two of them stole the thieves' getaway vehicle. The end result was that the thieves were caught rather quickly after being forced to escape on foot, thanks to the participation of two or three Animalia Skye-Eye units who were in the area for their own reasons."
"Now the real question is, since grand theft auto is a serious enough crime, what should be done with the guy and his girlfriend who managed to prevent an even more serious crime from happening?" At that, there were various gifs of characters scratching their heads and looking confused. Of course, there were internet trolls who suggested that they become Animalians, but everyone knew better than to feed them.
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"For future events, one upcoming event that everyone is excited for is the Lunar New Year Celebrations, specifically the 'Year of the Wood Dragon', which presents a new kind of challenge for Animalia: Since Dragons are mythological creatures, what should be done with the Mister and Miss Zodiac Competition?" Said Miles, and everyone agreed in one way or another, "There is a theory that dragons exist because people were misinterpreting dinosaur fossils. So, for the sake of the 'argument', Dinotopians will be able to compete for the first time." Then Miles did a Zoom call about the competition with the young Yomigami: which were actually two converted Japanese Seahorse Animalians (since they still had black hair), since seahorses were, at one time, considered baby dragons.
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"Another upcoming event, though not for Animalians," Miles began after a commercial break, "Are the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris. Due to this, Renardville, Animalia's French colony, is undergoing a dramatic expansion, no doubt because the 'theme' of the colony is a more... risqué version of the Baroque Period." Miles then opened a different Zoom call with Olympe, who was with her fellow students at Mieni Atoll. While she was wearing a decent enough bikini during the call, it was still small enough to make Miles' internal temperature spike a little bit, much to the amusement of the people watching.
Fortunately, nothing too explicit was shown or talked about, and the call ended without Miles having to make a dash to the bathroom.
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"Now we head on over to Peter and Mara & Co over at Ryouiki Island." said Miles, opening yet another Zoom call. During the question block, Peter did reveal something unexpected.
"Aiko just received an unusual offer." said Peter, "Since 'Zach Island' (the newest island to be selected for an Animalia, unofficially named after the island of the same name from the Dead or Alive Extreme Series) is intended to be a tropical island resort staffed by Animalians (since it's too small for a proper colony), the Japanese government offered control of it to Aiko. After a brief moment of feeling completely silly, she's moving right in. Of course, she's definitely going to be changing the name of the island to one more 'fitting'."
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"And that concludes our first safari in Animalia for 2024." said Miles, finishing the interview. "See you next time. And especially, see you when we do our special coverage of the Year of the Dragon."