Standing outside the New You parlor, you still couldn’t believe you actually set up an appointment. How were your coworkers, friends, and family going to react, seeing you with an udder slapping around on your legs? You absolutely didn’t want to tell any of them, but it’s not exactly going to be hard to figure out. Even if you tried to mask it as a beer belly, people will ask questions when it happens overnight, or Kris and Ace will put two and two together.
When you first set up the appointment, you thought it was to get the actual mod. Instead, these appointments were with a salesman. After looking online, it turned out gene mods were actually pretty complicated, needing a lot of signatures and confirmations before anything was really completed.
You spent long enough waiting outside. Going through the doors, you approach the front desk. A woman with cat ears sat behind it. “I’m here for my 3:30 appointment?”
“Of course, sir.” A few taps on her computer, and she looked up. “You’ve got room 4. Gary will be in shortly.”
You nod, then wander your way over to the designated area. It’s got another VR station,
After a few minutes of waiting, a completely unmodified man entered. “Hello! I’m Gary. You’re looking for a gene mod, and I’m the guy that can handle the paperwork and common pitfalls of most mods. Do you have a pack-code for the mods you’re looking for, or do you have a more general idea of what you want?”
You feel your face heat up. “I’ve, uh, got a general idea.”
“That’s good! The hardest kind of customers are those that want a mod and don’t know what kind. Before we continue, let’s get into the VR station to narrow it down. We can continue our discussion while inside.”
With a terse nod, you don the headset and find yourself back in the same room that you were in not all that long ago. Gary enters shortly afterward. “So, do I show you what I’m thinking of, or...?”
“Sure! If you already know how to work it, then let me see it!”
With a shaking hand, you input the necessary commands. That empty feeling you’ve been haunted by ever since that day finally disappears as the udder reforms. It’s exactly like you remember it, that warm fullness and distant sloshing as it slouches over your legs. You begin to massage and tweak the teats, but a cough from Gary makes you abruptly come to. “Uh-Sorry, but-”
He flashes a smile. “No need to apologize, sir. You’d be surprised how often we get udder mod asks. You may also be surprised how much additional paperwork udder mods have. First and foremost, are you sure you want it to be that large? One of the most common complaints of large-sized udders is the increased cost of clothes, as you’ll need modified pants to avoid injury from sustained pressure, and specialized covers to walk in public due to indecent exposure laws. A smaller udder would be concealable and more easily maneuvered. Here, let’s give you some examples.”
A blue screen appeared at his hands, and he began flipping through the menus. After a few moments, you felt a pulling sensation as your udder sucked into itself, all but disappearing as a slight paunch with four petite teats remained. “This is our smallest viable size option, or if you’re more of a size king-” As he dragged his finger across the menu, your udder reinflated, growing back to its original size, then expanded outward even further, until it finally settled. The massive thing was shoving your legs apart to make space, and you definitely felt the weight on your lower back. “-this is the largest we can offer on a biped. There are some long-term health complications and there are immediate mobility issues, but some people like ‘em big.”
With a quick tweak, your udder returns to the size it started. “Second, are you sure it’s a cow udder that you want? I believe goat mods are currently popular, and goat udders would be lower maintenance.” He paused. Flitting through the options once more. In a moment, your udder flattens as the two upper teats disappear and the lower teats grow massively. With a test-grab, its width is closer to a soda can than a penis, but the feeling is still the same.
You catch yourself before you continue. “I’ll, uh, consider it. Is there anything else?”
He nodded, then reverted your udder once more. “The last significant consideration is productivity. Ornamental udders are the only option for commercial users due to past litigation troubles. Between the mastitis issues and concerns of tainted milk being resold, New You decided that the best legal defense is to not allow it at all.”
“What? But I feel liquid inside it!”
“Yes, it’s a special form of fat that feels just like liquid. Essentially the same thing, just without the mess!” He paused. “However, your profile says you’re in range of a relief station. If function is needed, we have a special modpack that might work for you. Future Farms created a body-type that guarantees the user produces cow’s milk no matter what is consumed. However, it’s tauric.”
“Tauric? That’s way above my pay grade.”
“Actually, it’s one of our cheaper options at this time. The company wants more people to pick it so they get more milk, so they foot the bill. Here, let me load it up for you.”
In a flash, you found yourself dwarfing the man that was previously at eye level. You take a deep breath, inhaling far more than should be possible, and look in the mirror. Your lower body is entirely bovine, with a positively massive udder hanging between your hind legs. You can feel your tail thump across it, and the light squeeze from simply standing.
However, your upper body wasn’t spared, either. Where there was once a modest human male, there’s now a particularly voluptuous, if a bit husky, anthro cow. “People-” you realize your voice has also changed, causing you to cut yourself short. “People, pick this?!” You hadn’t seen anyone like this walking the streets.
“Maybe it’ll help you understand if I simulate a relief station.”
With another press, a machine phased into existence around you. Suction cups attached to your teats, then the machine kicked on. Your mind blanked as you received what felt like getting four of the best blowjobs you ever had, simultaneously. You don’t know how long it went on for, but it was pure ecstasy for the vast majority of the occasion. Only when it was near completion did the high finally reduce to a level at which you were capable of thought.
Gary was smiling from across the room, much to your embarrassment. “If you’re concerned about looks, there’s numerous species options for the lower body and we can keep your upper body visually untouched.” With another click, you’re back to your normal self from the waist and up, which makes the sheer size of your cow-half even more apparent. “There are, obviously, additional complications to this modpack, so please be sure to think through your options. You could always pair the udder with some other mods, such as a few bovine features, or even something else entirely. I’m not sure why, but I’ve seen more than one reptile fur add an udder.”
He reverts you once again, leaving you as a positively diminutive human with what feels like a much more modest udder compared to what you just experienced. “Are there, uh, any other companies that’ll do a functional udder?”
Gary frowned. “Yes, but we’re the most reliable option available, and you really need to consider the complications of having a fully functional udder without a reliable collector. Without the modpack, your milk will be off-flavored and your body will struggle to maintain nutritional requirements without adverse weight problems. If you’re considering the size you selected, you’ll be producing multiple gallons per day, and you’re going to end up with a massive surplus that no one wants.
“This assumes you even get what you want. Smaller businesses are fast and loose with gene mods, and you might end up with something a quarter the size of what you wanted, or twice as large, or a few bonus features from a cow. So, have you made any decisions?”