Ed had discovered the TV show "Storage Wars" and was fascinated by the treasures that people were finding in abandoned storage units. He had heard some of the things were probably planted by the show's production crew, but he had also heard stories about people finding some real treasures. After watching every episode, he did some research online to find some upcoming storage unit auctions in his area and found a few units that would be coming up next weekend. He marked the date in his calendar app and anxiously awaited the day.
Arriving at the storage facility on the day of the auction, he found about a dozen others had already arrived with vans, trucks, and trailers of all sizes. It was clear that those people had done this before. Ed parked his Nissan Rogue and felt unprepared. He wondered if he should have rented a truck or a trailer. "Well," he thought, "maybe I'll end up going home empty handed. Looks like there's a lot of competition."
Ed was waved over and registered with a woman wearing a windbreaker with the auctioneer's logo. He confessed to being a first timer. "Don't worry," she replied. "Everyone here was a first timer once. A word of advice though, don't feel pressured to get anything. Even if you stand back and watch, you'll still come away learning something and be better prepared for next time."
"That's great advice," answered Ed. "Thanks!" He felt relieved that he wasn't expected to perform and didn't have to buy anything. He could stand back and watch everyone else just like he was watching "Storage Wars" back home, but this was a live performance. Granted, it didn't have all the same cast members he was used to, but there definitely seemed to be some other weird characters around. He wandered over to where everyone else was milling about. A man in a "thin blue line" T-shirt was talking to someone with a goatee who looked like he was on his way to go hunting. A couple who appeared to be in their late 50s was standing next to one of the closed storage unit garage doors smoking cigarettes and coughing. He spotted a man with a handlebar mustache wearing a fedora who was approached by the woman he registered with earlier. She handed him a clipboard, spoke a few words, and walked off. Ed surmised that this must be the auctioneer.
The auctioneer shouted out to get everyone's attention. "Okay, everyone. Welcome! Please gather around and we'll get started today." The smoking couple dropped their cigarettes and crushed them under their boots. The others all gathered in a group in front of the auctioneer as he began to explain the process. He told people that he would open the doors to storage units one at a time. They would have five minutes to look inside, but they were not allowed to enter the unit nor were they allowed to touch anything in the unit until after the auction has ended and only if they have won the unit. He made sure everyone understood that everything was sold as-is with no warrantees nor guarantees and that winners would have until 5pm that day to clear everything out of the unit and leave it broom-swept clean.
Ed nodded along as he listened, but noticed most of the others didn't seem to be paying attention. He realized they've probably heard this same spiel dozens or hundreds of times before. Suddenly, he had a thought. "I didn't bring a broom!" He wondered how he would have a unit "broom-swept clean" without one. "Maybe I can borrow one," he wondered to himself, "...or I could go to the hardware store and get one quickly. Maybe it will be clean anyway and I won't need to sweep?" As he concerned himself with the broom, he realized the auctioneer had finished and was opening the first unit.
The first storage unit featured a large garage door. The auctioneer unlocked the lock on the door and pulled it up to open it. He stepped aside quickly while interested bidders crowded the door to get a peek inside the storage unit. A couple people in front had bright flashlights which bounced around the items in the unit. Ed wasn't able to get a good look until some people moved aside. When he was able to get a look, he spotted a lot of cardboard boxes labelled "clothes" and "kitchen". There were a few wooden chairs that looked cheap and well worn, a brass table lamp missing a shade, and what seemed to be a wooden dresser covered in a sheet. There were other boxes in back, but nothing that caught Ed's eye. "Probably for the best that there's nothing here I want," Ed thought. "I'll let this one go and watch others."
The storage unit ended up going for $150. He wasn't sure a bunch of old clothes were worth that much, but maybe the dresser was some kind of antique. He wondered what else might have been in there, but unlike the episodes of "Storage Wars" he had watched, he wasn't able to see the follow-up where it was revealed what trash or treasure was found. Ed didn't bid on either of the next two units either. One had a small motorboat in it and went for $2500 which was more than he wanted to spend. The other was packed full, but it looked like a lot of garbage. He certainly wasn't prepared to sort through that and have it cleared out by 5pm.
After the third unit, the auctioneer and bidders moved inside the storage facility and down a hallway. The interior units lined each side of a hallway with their orange rolling doors. Ed was relieved to be inside where it was air conditioned. The auctioneer opened a narrow door to a small closet-sized storage unit. With the hallway constraining the crowd, it was impossible for Ed to look inside until everyone else walked past. He noticed most people gave it a quick glance before walking on. When he finally got a chance to look inside, he saw a black and white box decorated with a cow pattern which was labelled "Gateway 2000". There was a matching box which appeared to have an old CRT computer monitor, an old Epson inkjet printer on the floor without a box, and a couple other medium-sized boxes with unknown contents. Ed moved out of the way and shook his head. "Why would anyone need a computer from a quarter-century ago?" he asked to nobody in particular.
"It'd cost you more to recycle that monitor than what it's worth," responded the woman who had been smoking outside.
After everyone got a good look, the auctioneer didn't need to wait for five minutes to pass and started the bidding at $100. With no bids, he brought it down to $50.
Ed shrugged. "Maybe there are some good games in the box," he wondered. "Worst case, I'm only out 50 bucks. I might as well go home with something." With a sigh, Ed raised his hand and said, "Fifty!" like he had seen others do when they bid.
Others looked at Ed like he was crazy. They knew there was no guarantee the computer even worked. Even if it did, it had no real resale value. Some figured the new guy was about to learn a $50 lesson that sometimes trash is trash and not every unit is worth money.
The auctioneer didn't waste any time and called the auction. "$50 to the guy in the hoodie!" He pointed at Ed and started moving to the next unit.
The auctioneer's assistant approached Ed and held out a credit card reader. "That's $50, please." Ed tapped his credit card on top of the card reader and the assistant's screen flashed a checkmark. "Thank you and congratulations on your first win!" She looked at the open storage unit. "Did you bring a lock?"
Ed's eyes opened wide. "Oh! No, I didn't. Was I supposed to?"
"Yeah. When you win, you're supposed to put your own lock on the door until you empty it out."
"Oops!" Ed looked around.
"Don't worry though, if you close this and leave it unlocked, I don't think anyone will bother with it...but you should definitely bring some locks for next time."
Ed nodded. "Good to know. Thank you."
The assistant moved on to catch up with the group as they moved to the next storage unit leaving Ed alone with his newly purchased storage unit. He decided he might as well call it quits for the day now and load this stuff into his car. Walking into the unit, he opened one of the unmarked cardboard boxes. The first box seemed to contain a lot of cables of various kinds along with an old modem, some mice, an old keyboard, and some unidentified accessories. Opening the second box, he found what he hoped to see...games! He spotted copies of late 90s and early 2000s games like Doom II, Unreal Tournament, Starsiege: Tribes, and StarCraft.
It took a few trips, but Ed got it all loaded into his car. Fortunately, the storage locker was fairly clean and it turned out he worried about a broom for nothing. He headed home anxious to see if the computer actually worked.
An hour later, Ed had unloaded his car and set up the computer on his kitchen table. He lived alone, so it's not like anyone would mind. If it worked, he might spend time giving it a more permanent setup in his home office...but this would do for now. He connected the keyboard, mouse, 17" CRT monitor, and plugged it in. Taking a deep breath, he pressed the power button on the monitor and the CPU. The monitor button turned green and started making a static sound as dust was suddenly attracted to the tube. The CPU clicked and whirred. A moment later, the screen displayed BIOS information and then started loading Windows XP. Ed smiled wide. It worked!
Ed looked at the desktop image which was the default green field and blue sky. He was relieved there was no password. It looked like whomever owned this computer before didn't wipe out any of the data, but given that it was put into storage they probably didn't think it would end up in a stranger's hands. Ed wondered if there was any personal data still on the computer and clicked into the "Documents and Settings" folder. He didn't want to hack someone's bank account or steal their identity, but he was curious who the computer had belonged to and why it was just left in storage for what was likely a couple decades. Both to his disappointment and relief, the folder didn't seem to contain any personal information. He clicked through the various folders of the hard drive and saw that whomever owned this computer seemed to mostly use it for gaming.
In the "Program Files" folder, he found the games that had been installed on this PC. Looking down the list, one of the first items he noticed was something named "Chronivac 4.1". He hadn't heard of that. "Chroni" was like "chrono" and might suggest "time" and "vac" would suggest..."vacuum" maybe? He furrowed his brow and thought about it for a second and then laughed. "Time suck! Oh, that's clever," he said aloud to nobody. "Okay," he thought, "if this is a 'time suck', it must be fun. Let's check it out..."
Ed double-clicked the icon. The program loaded and displayed a logo for TransDem Labs. "TransDem?" he wondered. "Translate Demographics? Transport Democrats?" His ideas for a possible meaning for "TransDem" were interrupted when an error window popped up. He read it aloud. "Cannot find portable emitter. Please connect to USB port."
Ed wondered what this "portable emitter" was for. Maybe some kind of speaker for sound effects or maybe something for a light show? He looked in the box of cables and accessories. After pushing aside old modems, power cables, and mice, he found an accessory that looked like a TV remote with a USB cable hanging from one end. The top of it had the same TransDem logo and Ed deduced that this must be the portable emitter. He plugged the USB cable into the front of the CPU and clicked "OK".
The error window disappeared and he was greeted by an interface which displayed an image of a young man probably in his twenties. The window title read "James - Original Backup Scan". Ed wondered if this "James" was the last one to use this PC. Wanting to start a new game and not overwrite this one, he went to the "File" menu and selected "New User". Ed typed in his name and clicked "OK".
As soon as he clicked "OK", the portable emitter he had connected lit up. A blue glow flashed out of the top end of the device and then turned off. The buttons on the device dimmed. Looking back at the screen, Ed saw an image of him standing there with his arms at his sides. The image was wearing the same clothes he was currently wearing. "Wow! Okay, that's cool how it can scan me and make a sweet avatar! I wonder if this can be imported into other games. It would be cool to play Madden with my own custom character!"
Ed looked over the options and realized he could modify the image. There were settings to modify his height, weight, race, age, gender, and many other options. There appeared to be clothing options too. Ed found a whole section of sports uniforms which, to him, confirmed that there must be a way to export these custom avatars. "Okay, let's try one out," he said to himself. "Let's see if I can export one to Fortnite. I'll export the file, email it to myself, and download that to the PC at my desk."
Ed messed around with the settings seeing how short and tall he could make himself and how fat and thin. He had fun moving the sliders for various body parts and watching himself grow and shrink various body parts to ridiculous proportions. After messing around, he decided to get serious and put everything back where it started. Next, he flipped the gender option. In an instant, his avatar lost a few inches of height, his hair grew longer, his limbs were thinner, his waist became very thin, but his butt grew out a little. He became the female equivalent of himself. It reminded him of the gender-swap Snapchat filters which were popular a few years back at the height of Snapchat popularity. "Neat," he commented. For fun, he went into the animal options and swapped his avatar's human ears out with cat ears which were covered in fur matching his hair color, gave himself cat eyes, a small feline snout, and a tail which matched his ear fur coloring. Finally, he changed out the clothing and put his catgirl into ankle boots, a pleated skirt which started at mid-thigh, and a tight-fitting pink T-shirt with a heart on it. He tried putting the avatar's hair back into a ponytail, but that revealed the lack of ears on the side of her head and looked a little creepy, so he opted for a bob cut instead.
Ed sat back and admired his handiwork. "That's pretty cute. I'm gonna save this one." He went to the File menu and saved the option as "Ed - KittyGirl". A moment later, the Chronivac program confirmed the file was saved. A new button appeared after the avatar was saved. It said, "Export".
"Perfect!" exclaimed Ed. "Just have to get this thing online and I'll be able to export it and then hopefully import it into some games." Ed's next task was getting this ancient beast online. He quickly realized it had no wireless card, but it did have an Ethernet jack. He dug a long Ethernet cable out of the box and ran it to his router and plugged it in. The computer's Internet status icon changed and indicated it was online. Ed could hear the hard drive chugging away as the computer likely started updating drivers and other software in the background for the first time in decades.
Looking at the Chronivac program, Ed clicked "Export". A dialog box popped up asking for "Transformation Time" and "Duration". Ed looked at them for a moment. He figured "Transformation Time" must refer to how long he wants the export to take and that a longer time might be higher quality. "Well, I'd like this to export fast, but a fast time might come out looking crappy, so maybe 1 minute? I guess I can start there and re-export if it needs more time or maybe I can try doing it faster." He looked at Duration. "I don't really want my avatar to expire, so I suppose I'll max that out." Ed moved the slider all the way to the right and then clicked "Export".
The dialog box went away and was replaced with a window displaying "Transformation Time Remaining" with numbers counting down from 59 seconds. Below that was another countdown timer that said "Duration" which only displayed an infinity symbol.
Ed looked at it. "That's weird," he said to himself. A moment later, he felt queasy in his stomach. He placed his hand on his belly and felt it moving under his shirt. It seemed to be shrinking. He looked down and saw the fabric of his pants and shirt seem to shift like a mirage. He moved his hand and could feel the texture of the fabric changing. "What the fuck?!"
Feeling pressure in the back of his pants, he felt back there and could feel a bulge under the shifting fabric, but more alarming was that he could also feel it from the other side. He reached down the back of his pants and felt a new appendage and let out a scream. "What the fuck is that?!" Ed quickly stood up and unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his knees. He twisted at the waist and looked down at his butt to see a 5 inch piece of flesh sticking out. He screamed again and wrapped his fist around the fleshy mass and tried to pull it, but he could feel his hand grabbing it from a new, unfamiliar part of his body.
Grabbing the waist of his pants, he quickly ran to the bathroom to try and get a better look in the mirror. He let his pants drop again and pulled down his briefs. The appendage was getting longer, but he noticed all the hair had disappeared from his buttcheeks as well. He turned around and lifted up his shirt to check his chest. His hair was thinning out there as well and his waist looked at lot smaller, but he also noticed new protrusions from his pectoral area. Lifting his shirt higher, he realized he was growing breasts. He was speechless.
After looking at his unfamiliar chest in disbelief, a thought crossed his mind. "If I'm changing up here..." He pulled down his briefs and discovered his penis and testicles were receding. "I'm turning into a girl?!" He looked at his face in the mirror, but the reflection was not his own nor was it a girl that he now expected to see. His hair had lengthened and his ears were sticking out and moved higher up on his head. His lip had started to develop a cleft and the area between his nose and mouth seemed to be swelling. He noticed a few hairs sticking out which he wondered if he had missed shaving, but as he looked he was able to watch them grow out to be whiskers. Ed blinked. "I'm turning into that KittyGirl avatar! Holy shit!"
Finally realizing what was happening, he watched the changes continue in the mirror and noticed his height shrinking as the changes progressed. The flesh extending above his butt was soon covered in fur and had extended to be a 3 foot long tail. His eyes had transformed into cat's eyes and he noted some sharp fangs appeared in his mouth. He reached up and felt his new ears and they twitched at his touch. His shirt had transformed into the same pink T-shirt he had given his avatar. He looked down to where his pants were and pulled up a pleated skirt. As he pulled up the skirt, ankle boots were revealed on his feet. He moved his tail so that it would come out from under the skirt.
After what had seemed like an eternity, he heard a bell from the computer in the kitchen. He zipped up and buttoned the skirt as he walked back to the computer. On the screen was a new message. "Transformation complete"
Ed stared at the screen and then looked down at himself. "Holy shit! This is amazing!" He put a hand over his mouth at the new voice that came out of him. He giggled. "Wow! New voice! Oh, this is the best $50 I've ever spent!"
Ed dismissed the window alerting him to the completion of his transformation. He saw the image of his new self on the screen and started thinking about the configuration options in a new light. "So 'Transformation Time' must have been how long it takes me to change. Okay, that's interesting a longer transformation might be fun, but short ones could be handy. And 'Duration' must be... Oh wait. Fuck! I selected the maximum and it showed 'infinity'. Does this mean I can't change back? No, it must mean I won't automatically change back. If I want to change back, I can just undo all these changes I made and make myself normal again." Ed thought for a second. "Shit, I should have saved myself after the initial scan. That would have saved so much time. That 'James' profile I saw must have been the backup for the previous owner."
As Ed sat and considered an endless array of options available to him, a Windows dialog box popped up. The system wanted to perform an update and was going to restart. "Okay, fine," Ed thought. He restarted the PC and waited for it to boot. As he waited, he stroked his tail and was fascinated by the unfamiliar nice feeling he was getting from his new appendage. He felt his smooth legs and rubbed the fur from his tail along his hairless legs.
Before he had time to examine more of his new body, the computer finished booting and displayed the desktop again. He quickly clicked into folders and double-clicked the Chronivac 4.1 icon. Windows responded with a loud error beep and displayed a cryptic message. "Faulting application chronvac.exe, version 4.1.7200.1169, faulting module cvemit4.dll, version 4.1.7200.1169, fault address 0x00168be"
"What." Ed double-clicked the icon again. Same thing. "Fuck." He tried again. "FUCK!" Ed put his palm to his forehead. "Shit, this program won't run after the update! Why did I fucking update?! If I can't run this program, I can't change back!" He closed his eyes and exhaled. "What the fuck do I do now?"